


Alexandria Jones

by petraluthor



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Anya & Lexa & Lincoln (The 100) are Siblings, Anya & Lexa (The 100) Are Siblings, Bottom Lexa, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, Girl Penis Lexa, LITERALLY, Minor Anya/Raven Reyes, Original Universe, Protective Lexa, Sad Clarke, Sarcastic Anya (The 100), also, bare with me, clarke draws lexa so many times, clarke is a confused and curios precious kid who needs protected and lexa is there for her, everything gets explained, it gets good I promise, itll be long, its for plot - Freeform, its like america in the mid to late 1800s but like different, lexa has a penis, lexa saves everyone, lexa shows clarke whole new worlds, like a lot, like aladin, theres a lot, theres smut but not right away, theyre soft bitches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-08-23 17:02:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16622876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petraluthor/pseuds/petraluthor
Summary: “Are you Alexandria Jones?” she asked, now completely bewildered. Alexandria leaned against the raised countertop parallel to Clarkes desk with one elbow, tilting the brim of her hat towards the blonde. When she flicked the brim of the hat back up again, she adorned an ever more charming smirk.“Indeed I am. But, ma’am, you can call me Lexa.” She winked bravely, earning a deep blush and a burst of fluttering blinks from Clarke.ORIt's kind of like Indiana Jones but her name is Alexandria and its in the 1800s.An 1800s AU but in an alternate universe and everything is explained. Lexa is rich and lonely and Clarke is literally a slave but it's okay bc Lexa saves her and a bunch of other people. Pike is an asshole. Lexa takes Clarke exploring with her and they fall in love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> im really attached to this story so i hope everyone enjoys it. ive been writing nonstop. it might be slightly confusing at first but it picks up and gets explained over the first few chapters.

Clarke Griffin was spending her Thursday morning like any other normal Thursday morning. It was eleven o’clock exactly and Charles Pike, her boss, had instructed her to notify him as soon as the clock struck on the eleventh hour. 

 

He was a man of many superstitions and refused to keep any clocks or time-pieces in his private office so when he had meetings or other obligations, he would give her a list of times to knock on his door.

 

Clarke was sliding herself away from her small desk when she heard the loud hollow wooden clank as the excessively heavy door slid open fully. She watch in awe as a tall figure made their way across the room. 

 

The stranger had sun darkened skin no doubt from hours laboring in the outdoors, the calluses on their hands further proving Clarke suspicion. The mysterious stranger was also fully clad in earthy tones; charcoal trousers, a ill-fitting beige cotton shirt over a brown under-shirt, and a rich brown genuine leather jacket. 

 

“Oh, hello.” Clarke breathed, slightly taken aback as she attempted to count all the many pouches and pockets the stranger adorned. Sharp green eyes found hers from beneath a dark brown wide brimmed hat. Clarke was shocked even further upon realization that the stranger was a woman. In trousers.

 

“Good evening, ma’am,” The blonde woman’s cheeks flushed bright pink, very rarely was she called ma’am. More often she got sweetheart and doll-face. “Would this by any chance be the office and residence of one Sir Charles Pike?” 

 

Clarke swooned internally at the prize-winning grin the other woman flashed her, momentarily forgetting she had been asked a questioned. She nodded quickly and turned her attention to the paper on the edge of her desk. She skimmed the list of times for the day and found eleven o’clock, the name printed next to it gave her even more of a start.

 

“Are you Alexandria Jones?” she asked, now completely bewildered. Alexandria leaned against the raised counter-top parallel to Clarke's desk with one elbow, tilting the brim of her hat towards the blonde. When she flicked the brim of the hat back up again, she adorned an ever more charming smirk.

 

“Indeed I am. But, ma’am, you can call me Lexa.” She winked bravely, earning a deep blush and a burst of fluttering blinks from Clarke.

 

“I- You-...” Clarke was lost for words as she simply stared. She began to feel slightly embarrassed by her bewilderment, which didn’t happen to her often, or rather at all. “You’re here to meet with Mr. Pike?”

 

Before she even had the chance to look up at Lexa and await her reply, she heard the woman’s voice come from several feet to her left followed by the hinges on the gate to the other side of the counter squeaking as she sauntered through.

 

“That I am.” She stated simply as she gave a quick knock on the door to the man’s office before shouting, “entering,” and throwing open the door wearing a wide grin. 

 

Clarke was more astonished than ever as she frantically gathered her notepad and two pencils before quickly following Lexa into the office.

 

“Oh!” she heard Pike exclaim as his chair squeaked across the cold tile floor. Clarke knew he no doubt had stood abruptly. She glanced out from behind Lexa as the large man slammed his palms against his overtly large desk.

 

“I’m sorry, sir. She just came in before i could-” She began to explain her voice cracking as she was completely flustered.

 

“I’ll hear none of it from you, girl. You’ve proved yourself incompetent once again!” Pike bellowed, “Now, take a seat before I remove you.”

 

Clarke immediately found her seat in the corner of the room, arranging one of her pencils and her notepad in order to write down every syllable of the interactions during the meeting. Another task that Pike demanded she do perfectly to his standards.

 

“Well, I’ll be damned. All due respect, I don’t believe that’s any way to speak to your employee, let alone a woman, sir.” Lexa said with a deep frown knitting between her brows. She looked at Clarke with a questioning gaze only to see Clarke vigorously writing.

 

“Employee?” Pike let out a short whistle, which Clarke understood he often did when he was amused. “Oh, please. She is my charge. I own her, I can speak to her however I may well please.”

 

Lexa scowled and clicking her her tongue against the roof of her mouth. Clarke observed that she seemed offset by Pike’s words but obviously decided it was not her place to argue.

 

Instead, the brunette removed her hat to reveal a head full of long dark braids interwoven with one another. She placed her hat over her heart as she rested her other hand on the back of the chair she was meant to sit in.

 

“Forgive me for my brashness, Sir. I’m slow to learn my place.” Pike seemed displeased, yet satisfied for the moment as he motioned for the woman to sit.

 

“Now for business,” He said as the pair sat simultaneously, “a woman in trousers has never been to my liking. However, despite your rumored provocative lifestyle and obvious… appetite for the profane, your offer seemed too rich to turn down and i felt the need to meet with you face to face to discuss it further and hash out a deal.”

 

Clarke looked up in shock at Pike’s words, confused as to what he could be alluding to. She had heard plenty in the papers and in the streets about Alexandria Jones simply because of her heritage and blood line brought on a great amount of attention, both good and bad, but never had she heard anything provocative or profane.

 

She forgot momentarily about her note taking as she watched Lexa’s jaw clench tightly as she processed his words, obviously Pike knew something Clarke did not and he had struck a nerve. Lexa was simply too level-headed to let Pike get a rise out of her.

 

“Such is the word on the street. But it’s a good thing those of our stature don’t fall victim to such rumors. You’ve got quite the reputation in brothels yourself... or so they say.” Lexa said with what seemed like a friendly grin, but Clarke had always been very adept at reading people and she could tell Lexa’s words were more than friendly banter.

 

Pike was quite a bit less level headed than Lexa it seemed, seeing as he immediately commanded Clarke to strike the statement from her notes, to which she realized she hadn’t even written it to begin with.

 

“So it seems,” he replied through clenched teeth. “As I was saying, down to business. I gave the proposal you struck up with your team and I was intrigued, but I do have a few of my own terms I would like to add to the final papers before I send it to my legal advisers.”

 

“Of course, that was to be expected. Name your terms and I’ll be glad to negotiate.” Lexa said politely, her grin never faltering. Pike nodded stiffly and picked up a piece of paper, staring own his nose as he read it.

 

“My demands are as follows: number one, all of my charges i relinquish to you for your journey must be returned to me within a fortnight upon your return, those that are not, I will be awaiting compensation for their absence. Number two, any and all supplies I extend to you must be paid for, plus interest, within the year after your return. Number three, thirty percent of all of your findings. Number four, my name listed next to yours on any official documents with any and all artifacts or civilizations you may discover.”

 

Lexa let out her own whistle now, low and long, as she leaned back in her seat, wiping her palms against her trousers. 

 

“That’s quite the bounty to demand, Sir.” She spectated, mentally calculated the difference and the deficit.

 

“Well, the way I see it, it’s the least I could demand given the hefty lease I will possibly grant you.”

 

“The way I see it, seven men and the extra supplies needed to feed and shelter them for one year doesn’t seem to be such a hefty bounty considering the journey they will undergo. My own men and myself will also be providing extra rations for your men. The way I see it, you benefit most from the original deal.” 

 

Pike visibly stiffened even further at Lexa’s rebuttal and he opened his large mouth to respond but was cut off by Lexa raising a hand that silenced him immediately.

 

“Like I said, I am very willing to negotiate, but I have other benefactors and I know that my men and I could already fair very well on our own,” Lexa provided. Clarke had never witnessed anyone shut Pike down like that. “I will grant you your demands one and two. However, if any of your charges are enough to my liking I will consider relinquishing them from you with rich bids.”

 

“And demands three and four?” Pike questioned, folding his hands over his stomach as he leaned back, smirking like he had already won.

 

“I’ll give you fifteen percent, and I’ll list you with the other benefactors as well as naming you specifically at my returning ceremony, depending on how well you cooperate of course.” Lexa responded curtly to which Pike scoffed. 

 

“Twenty-five percent.”

 

“Eighteen percent.”

 

“Twenty!”

 

There was a long moment of silence as Pike glared angrily at Lexa, who was smirking smugly and Clarke’s eyes were darting between the both of them.

 

“Deal, Sir,” Lexa said, placing her hands on the arms of the chair as she leaned forward preparing to stand. “Oh, and her.”

 

“I beg your pardon.” Pike asked, aghast. Appalled at what she seemed to be implying, he stood abruptly and stared down at her. Lexa simply stood as well, more gracefully and with less aggression.

 

“I want her,” Lexa restated, “for whatever purposes she is capable of serving, I’d like her to accompany me on my journey.”

 

This made Pike laugh outright, tilting his head back as he released an ominous bellow. It seemed to be the most humorous statement he’d ever heard.

 

“And what purposes would she be good for, especially for the likes of you? To fulfill your perverted sexual endeavors?” He questioned as his laughter died down slightly.

 

“No, Sir. But my offer is now all that we just negotiated and her, or we have no deal.” Lexa stated solidly as she straightened her coat and situated her waistband comfortably.

 

Pike’s humored expression melted into that of a serious one as he stared at Lexa in disbelief.

 

“You wouldn’t dare, you need me.” He said bitterly, tugging at his lapels.

 

“I would and I am more than willing to. Unfortunately for you, sir, you need me far more than I need you.” She retorted, placing her hat back on her head.

 

She looked to Clarke for the first time since the discussion began and saw complete awe and fear adorning the girls face. She smiled subtly as she tilted the brim of her had towards the girl with two of her fingers.

 

“It’s been a pleasure ma’am. You are a sight for sore eyes in this dull estate.” She offered a final compliment, not bothering to bid Pike farewell as she spun on her heal and paced towards the door, leaving Clarke and Pike with mouths agape.

 

She continued across the large space even after Clarke thought she would turn back around. She reached the doors and began pushing them open, her heart skipped a beat as she moved deliberately slow. She was biding her time until…

 

“Wait!” Pike called after her.

 

She dropped her head forward as she smirked to herself, biting her lip to keep her amusement at bay. 

 

She slowly shut the doors and turned back around, sauntering confidently back across the room and taking her place behind her chair rather than in it this time. She placed both of her hands on the back of it as she stared Pike down with every threat she could utter in her eyes,

 

“Ten percent.” She said finally, watching in outright amusement as Pike fell backwards into her large seat in defeat as he sighed loudly.

 

“Deal.” He muttered quietly, waving his hand at her dismissively.

 

“Fantastic, I’ll have one of my colleagues return within the week with the legal documents for you to sign and a caravan for the madam. Within the month, be expecting a caravan for the men and supplies you’ve promised me.”

 

“Within the week?” Pike asked, appalled.

 

“I’ll need ample time to prepare her for the journey.” That was all Lexa offered by way of explanation before she tipped her hat to Clarke a final time before exited the room for good.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa goes to retrieve Clarke and takes her back to her house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i realized after i wrote this that i didnt clarify and im too lazy to go back and fix it all but just so everyone is aware: the first chapter takes place in Pike's office building within the city and this chapter Lexa goes to his house, so they are two different places. I just wanted to make that clear. lol

The last three days of Lexa’s life had been a complete whirlwind of maps, coins, and burly men. She had been on explorations before and orchestrated her own in the past but this one seemed to have an entirely new trepidation about it.

 

Now, she found herself sitting across from her personal lawyer. In his small, clammy hands, he clutched a small briefcase that contained the legal documents ready for Charles Pike’s signature. Lexa had decided to accompany her lawyer just so Pike would be more cooperative and so that Clarke would have a familiar face to leave with.

 

The carriage came to a slow halt as they reached the front of Pike’s large estate. She waited patiently as the coachman climbed down and opened the door for them. She gestured for her lawyer to go first and he nodded, silently obliging.

 

“Remember, Titus. You’re simply here to be a legal witness to him signing the documents. I would like you to stay silent unless otherwise necessary as I have Mister Charles Pike give his signature.” she reminded her lawyer as she dropped do the ground next to him, dust stirring up around her boots as she landed.

 

She frowned and leaned down to brush the dirt off of her suede boots as the coachman began his ascent up the front staircase to knock on the door after they seemed to be locked. Lexa rose upright once more and led her lawyer up the steps. She stood completely still behind the coachman, her hands clutched behind her back as she waited.

 

She had every urge in the world to itch her back in her uncomfortable wool coats but restrained herself. She let her eyes wander to a small glass contraption hung from a branch on a tree a few yards to the left of the steps. She watched curiously as a small multicolored bird no bigger than the palm of her hand flew up to the contraption and stuck it’s beak into a small hole near the bottom. She stared in awe as she saw its wings were nearly entirely just a blur.

 

She was pulled from her thoughts as the front door swung open to reveal a frazzled looking Clarke. The blonde’s eyes immediately landed on Lexa.

 

“Oh, thank goodness. He’s in his study but he’s in a mood. He’s quite hysteric. I believe he misplaced a book.” She explained as she stepped aside to let the small company enter. The coachman quietly announced his departure to Lexa before returning to the carriage to wait.

 

Clarke closed the door and extended her hands forward to each of the men, taking their hats and coats. Lexa quickly observed all that Clarke was wearing and chuckled softly to herself when she saw that her corset was on crooked and backwards, a detail Pike was sure to miss seeing as he’d probably never even looked closely at a corset.

 

“This is my lawyer Titus. Unfortunately he is in dire need of a powder room. Do mind showing him to one promptly?” Lexa asked with a genuine smile to the blonde.

 

“What? I don’t-” Titus began to protest until he saw the dangerous look on Lexa’s face as she glared at him, “Oh! Yes! Foolish me! I must use the powder room post haste!” He proclaimed dramatically, waving a finger in the air.

 

“Oh… um… yes, this way then sir.” Clarke said slowly in absolute confusion as she watched the man dramatically fan himself. She figured his powdered wig must be making his scalp sweat. 

 

She didn’t outwardly question him though and led the man down a hall and opened a door for him to enter. He went inside and latched the door behind him. Clarke and Lexa returned to the front room as they waited. 

 

“I’m sorry madame, but i don’t believe I had the pleasure of learning your name the last time we met.” Lexa said kindly as she smiled at the shorter girl. Clarke smiled back and dipped her head politely.

 

“My name is Clarke.” She said quietly, slightly embarrassed with such a masculine name but she could hear Lexa’s smile in her tone as she echoed it softly. Clarke blushed and her eyes darted up the the woman’s face at how unexpectedly delicious it sounded coming from Lexa.

 

“I’ve never heard a woman with such a name, especially one as beautiful as yourself, but it somehow fits you. It gives a feeling of strength and makes me feel as if the owner is altogether elegant, exquisite, refined, I’d even say delectable.” Lexa mused, smiling with her perfect white teeth on display. Lexa’s forwardness gave Clarke a sudden rush and felt very brave for a moment.

 

“Do you speak this silver-tongued to all the women you meet?” She asked, raising an eyebrow in challenge. Lexa placed a hand over her own heart as if she were offended.

 

“Only the ravishing ones, ma’am.” Lexa replied without missing a beat. Clarke was taken off guard, heat blazing over her neck and cheeks. She attempted to respond but Lexa shook her head and smiled. “I don’t say this to embarrass you, but are you aware that you are wearing your corset backwards?” 

 

Clarke was shocked, entirely unable to respond now as she quickly looked down at her torso. She found Lexa to be correct and cried out in surprise.

 

“This day has been so hectic, I hadn’t even realized.” She explained, looking like every one of her feathers were ruffled as she moved her shaking hands all too quickly to attempt to untie the front, or back, of the garment. 

 

“Allow me.” Lexa offered, noticing Clarke’s unease. She gently pushed Clarke’s hands away and swiftly undid the ties. She made quick work of removing the thing without Clarke’s help. “You’d like to put it back on?” She questioned, not realizing how flustered Clarke was at her actions.

 

“He is more likely to be cooperative if I am submissive.” Clarke stated simply causing Lexa to frown. The blonde turned around and pressed the front of the corset to her abdomen and allowed Lexa to retie the lace in the back

 

“Well, you won’t have to wear one of these things again for a very long time. You may remove it and wear whatever you please once you are under my care.” Lexa voiced with determination as she assisted Clarke in putting the corset back on correctly. She deliberately tied it more loosely than the original knots had been and patted the string once she was done. “There, now maybe you can breathe.” 

 

Just then, Titus poked his head out from the hallway and looked at Lexa, who nodded, before he fully emerged

 

“I believe this means we are ready to get to meeting with Sir Pike.” Lexa said curtly, straightening her clothes. Clarke nodded and led the pair up the stairs to the second floor and down a long corridor. They stopped in front of a heavy wooden door and Clarke knocked loudly four times before the door swung open.

 

“What in god’s name-” Pike began to yell, causing Clarke to take a step back. “Oh, Miss Jones. Come in.” he finished in a calmer voice.

 

Lexa stared at him sternly while she side stepped in front of Clarke to put a body between them as she stalked further into the room and Pike backed up.

 

Titus and Clarke followed them in and Lexa watched closely as Titus set the briefcase down on one of the tables before opening it. Lexa pulled out the documents as Pike sat clumsily in the chair behind his desk. The empty bottles of brandy in the waste bin didn’t go unnoticed by Lexa.

 

“These are the documents for the deal we discussed and struck up. Feel free to read through to ensure it’s all to your liking, but I’m a woman of my word, everything is in there word for word. Once you’re satisfied, my lawyer will indicate where you are to sign.” Lexa stated but Pike waved her off.

 

“I believe you, woman. Show me where to sign immediately. And get that blonde whore out of my site as quickly as you can.” He said gruffly taking the papers from Lexa and setting them in front of him. Lexa turned to loom at Clarke as Titus showed Pike where to sign the papers at.

 

She was seething with anger and wanted nothing more than to throw a few fists against Pike’s face, but she knew the statements within the documents he was currently signing was vengeance enough.

 

She gave Clarke a subtle, terse nod before turning her attention back the the two men. It broke her heart that it seemed Clarke was used to hearing things like what Pike had just said, maybe even worse,

 

“Now get out, get that sword swallower away from me.” Pike demanded. Lexa audibly growled, gritting her teeth as Titus frantically gathered the documents and put them back in the briefcase, scuttling out of the room.

 

“You have quite the nerve, you oaf.” Lexa said angrily, taking a large step forward until she felt a small hand wrap around her bicep. She turned and saw Clarke gripping her arm, eyes wide as she shook her head.

 

Lexa hesitated before stepping back once again. She looked at Pike one last time before she allowed Clarke to pull her from the room.

 

“We should go quickly.” Clarke said going straight for the stairs. Lexa froze, causing Clarke to turn quickly and look at her in confusion.

 

“Wait, we have time to go gather some of you belongings.” Lexa said and turned around before Clarke could stop her.

 

“You don’t even know where my room is. It’s downstairs, but we have to be hasty.” Clarke said, grabbing Lexa’s hand and dragging her back towards the stairs. Lexa apologized quietly as she willingly followed Clarke. As they reached the steps she heard yelling erupt from Pike’s study, followed by loud crashing.

 

The pair raced down the stairs and Lexa noticed the front door was wide open, which she hoped meant Titus was already aboard the carriage. She followed Clarke on quick feet as she ran to the opposite side of the house and into a closet sized room only big enough for a small straw mattress and a crate used as a makeshift bedside table.

 

Clarke removed the pillow case from her pillow and dropped two picture frames, a pocket watch, and a small pouch into it before turning to the wall that held the door. That’s when Lexa noticed the small shelf at eye level mounted on the wall. She watched from within the door frame as Clarke shoved the only set of clothing in the room into the pillow case. She also noticed Clarke grab a notebook with papers tucked between the pages into the case as well.

 

“Come on.” Clarke said, slipping past Lexa and taking her hand once again, pulling her back across the house and out the front door. They careened down the front steps as they heard loud stomping progressing down the inside flight.

 

Lexa yelled for the coach man to spur the horses as she assisted Clarke into the carriage. She took off running next to it as the horses broke into a sprint. She nearly stumbled but caught herself as a musket ball broke through the plush satin lining on the interior of the door that was still open on the carriage. She heard Clarke gasp loudly as she sped up to keep up seeing that the bullet hole was only inches from her head.

 

She laughed giddily as she gripped the edge of the doorway and jumped, swinging herself feet first with all of her effort, crashing into the inside of the carriage. She turned her head just in time to see Clarke reaching out and slamming the door shut.

 

She continued to laugh hysterically for several moments as Titus watched in horror and cowered in the corner. Clarke was frowning at her but soon began smiling hesitantly.

 

“Well, that was a walk in the park, wasn’t it?” She said as her laughter died down. She righted herself from her position on the floor and dropped herself in the spot next to Clarke.

 

She wiped her palms on her trousers as she grinned like a little kid on Christmas. She glanced at Clarke and winked before she looked at Titus and saw how terrified he was.

 

“Oh, come on. I’m greased lighting.” Lexa said with a chuckle and she heard Clarke tsk beside her in amusement.

  
  
  


Once they got closer to the city, Lexa looked out the window until she spotted her house. She sighed as the carriage pulled up in front of the estate and the coachman opened the door.

 

Lexa let Clarke exit before her but she stepped out in front of Titus this time. Once the trio had emerged, Lexa took the briefcase from Titus and said goodbye to him as she scuttled off down the road. The coach man chuckled as he watched him go and turned back to Lexa.

 

“You got some serious grit, Miss Jones.” He said humorously before tipping his hat to the pair and returning to tend to the horses. 

 

“This is home. It’s not much, and I can do better, but I prefer to be right in the middle of the city. One day I plan to expand it, but not yet.” She explained to Clarke as she led her up to the front door, which opened without her having to do anything.

Her butler was on the other side holding it open as she entered. He immediately took her coat and hat. She thanked him and told him he was free to go to which he bowed his head and exited the room.

 

“I don’t want you to be afraid that this will be a repeat of your last residence. Pike didn’t read the contract and I slipped in some terms which basically relinquish his ownership of you to me.” Lexa winced at the words but knew they were the true words.

 

“So, I belong to you now?” Clarke frowned. Lexa dipped her head and swung it slowly side to side.

 

“I hate that. I hate how all of that. It’s all wrong,” she mumbled. “Legally yes, morally no. Those documents say that yes I own you but I refuse to do any such thing for any purpose but to set you free. Legally I cannot make you a free woman, but under my ‘ownership’ I will allow you to go wherever and do whatever you wish.” She explained, but Clarke just stared at her.

 

You are free to do as you wish, if you get stopped and asked for your papers, I already have some drawn up for you to show that simply state your business is ‘special errand’ which will allow you to go and do almost anything a free person is able. I also open my home to you, so if you have trouble finding your own way, you can return here for food, shelter, and even paid work.”

 

Clarke nodded slowly, beginning to understand. She looked around, only now really noticing how wealthy the interior of the small home looked. She had known Lexa must be well off the simple fact she managed to convince Pike to strike a deal, but she hadn’t thought it measure out to some of the things she was observing. And from how things sounded, she bought a lot of charges and set them free.

 

“So, you’ll let me leave and do whatever I want no question?” Clarke tested, wanting to be sure she fully understood.

 

“Well, not entirely without question. I’d prefer if you didn’t turn up dead or go announcing to the whole city what I did for you and others. If you wish, you can speak with my butler or any of my maids. All of them had been in a similar position to you and one way or another decided to work for me. And I pay for that work. Heftily.” Lexa explained, gesturing for Clarke to follow her up the stairs and down a hall into a small room, but a bigger one than Clarke had ever had before.

 

“Tonight, you can stay here. It’s my guest room. If you decide to stay on with me, I’ll buy you a home of your own to live in, just as I’ve done for other charges who wished it.” Clarke’s eyes bulged, how many houses did this woman buy?

 

“My own home?” The offer seemed abundant and too good to be true but Lexa had proven to be true to her word so far.

 

“Yes, both my butler and my cooks live in this house, under their own wishes. All four of my maids have their own homes, though I can’t quite afford to buy as many houses such as this one for as many charges I’ve bought for, so it’s more of your own apartment but it’s a home your own either way.” Lexa said smiling softly as she watched Clarke circle the room, brushing her finger tips over various objects.

 

“I can sleep on this bed tonight? A feathered mattress?” Clarke asked, disbelieving. Lexa bowed her head in confirmation.

 

“And once supper is finished being prepared, you will join me for the meal in the dining room.” Lexa explained and Clarke nodded.

 

“Where should I go to help prepare it?” She asked, setting her pillowcase full of belongings down on the bed.

 

“No, no. You aren’t preparing any meals in my home, that is what my cooks are paid for. No, you are a guest in my home and you will be treated like one. Nyko, my butler, will be up in ten minutes with tea and tarts for you to tide you over until supper. If you need anything, there is a small string contraption next to the door.” Lexa closed the door and pointed to the other side that had been hidden before and grasped the end of the thin rope.

 

“What’s that for?” Clarke was growing more and more curious by the minute with all of the new things in this house.

 

“Simply pull this rope, like so,” She gave the rope a tug twice before letting go. “And Nyko will be up within only a few moments. Anything you need, ask him. I have to go to the market quickly, I should be back within the hour. You’ll be entirely safe here with the rest of my employees. Enjoy your evening, Clarke.”

 

Lexa nodded quickly before opening the door, slipping out, and closing the door again. On her way towards the front door, she intercepted Nyko and told him to prepare tea and tarts for Clarke and bring them to her promptly. 

 

She thanked him before slipping by him and placing a gold coin into her palm. She practically skipped down the corridor and she slid the whole length of the banister down the steps. she stealthily grabbed her coat and hat from the rack and shot through the door. Nyko hadn’t seen Lexa that enthusiastic in a very long time and the sight brought a smile to his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i literally googled 1800s roasts because i wanted a small ounce of historical accuracy even tho this is an au. not all the terms i use/ will use are roasts but ya. incase it was hard to figure out in context, some phrases in this chapter that were used then were silver-tongued which just means like talking smoothly or someone who is good with words. Sword swallower is a word used for a woman that sucks a lot of dick and deep throats a lot. so uhhhh the more ya know i guess. thanks for reading. i highly appreciate it. i think i accidentally switched tenses a couple times and my instructor yells at me a lot bc i do that a lot so sorry for that. sorry that my grammar sucks. this chapter was kind of dramatic and i almost rewrote it because i wasnt sure how much i liked it but i made a few small changes and this was the result so uhhhhh gang gang ya kno
> 
>  
> 
> sorry i hated that too


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke gets familiar with Lexa's house and some of Clarke's backstory is revealed. also Lexa has a little bit of anger issues but they aren't directed at Clarke so it's alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is super long so i hope everyone appreciates this one and enjoys it. the first few chapters are moving a little slowly but once Lexa and Clarke are fully comfortable and a little but more back story is revealed in the next chapter it'll start moving along a bit faster. enjoy :) word count: 3975

Clarke nearly jumped out of her skin as she felt a large hand settle on her shoulder. She turned quickly, feeling like she’d been caught doing something bad. She realized the hand belonged to Lexa’s Butler, Nyko.

 

“Ma’am Lexa has requested you join her for supper,” He said evenly, before raising his eyebrows and looking around her at the room she was trying to enter. “Miss Jones also prefers that her private rooms remain private.”

 

Clarke nods sheepishly and closes the door and follows Nyko as he leads her down the stairs and through the house to the large dining room. She looks up at the rich chandelier hanging in the center of the room. She looks back down to see Lexa sitting at the head of the table on the opposite side of the room. 

 

“Good evening, Clarke.” She greeted and folded the newspaper she had been reading, setting on the table next to her. She gestured for Clarke to sit to her left and the blonde obliged.

 

She took her seat silently as she continued to observe the space around them. She noticed Lexa had a glass of what looked like scotch in front of her and before she could ask her what it was, Nyko was setting a wine glass in front of her and showing her the label of a wine bottle. 

 

“Your options for this evening are Merlot or or Rose.” Nyko stated, as he produced a second bottle and placed both in front of her. She looked confused at both bottles. She knew the one was wine, but she had never tasted any before but the other one looked unfamiliar.

 

“Um, I’ve never tried either of those before. What’s Rose? What does Merlot mean?” Clarke asked, looking sheepishly at Lexa. The brunette simply smiled warmly and leaned forward pointing to the wine bottle. 

 

“Merlot is a red wine, this bottle is fairly rich. This particular bottle is meant to be a sort of fruity flavor, so it’s sweeter. Rose is a lighter wine, a summer water. It tastes like fruit and flowers mixed together. It’s also slightly sweeter.” Lexa explained patiently, gesturing to each bottle.

 

“Can… Can I try both?” She questioned shyly, not wanting to overstep. Lexa simply smiled and nodded to Nyko who stepped away and returned after a moment with a second wine glass.

 

Nyko poured both glasses half full with the different wines and politely left the room. Clarke looked at both glasses for a silent moment before lifting the glass of Merlot and taking a hesitant sniff. She had seen Pike do this several times before drinking his wine and she assumed it was necessary.

 

Lexa watched in slight amusement as she watched Clarke hesitantly sip the wine and pause before swallowing. Clarke looked confused but then she frowned.

 

“You said it would be sweet, yet it had a bitter taste to it still.” She commented, staring at the drink sadly. Lexa chuckled and gently took the glass from Clarke’s hand. She smiled and took a sip for herself. 

 

“You’re right, it’s not as sweet as it usually is. Bad batch perhaps.” Lexa added before placing the glass back down with a frown.

 

“I don’t know how wine is made so I’m just going to take your word for it.” Clarke said with a small laugh, warming Lexa’s heart. Clarke tried the Rose but got a similar result, this time passing the glass to Lexa before she even set it down. 

 

Lexa took a sip and frowned again, she looked at both bottles glasses on the table as she set the second down.

 

“Well,” she sighed, lifting both, one in each hand. “Waste not, want not.” She stated before drinking both glasses, each in one swig. She cleared her throat a bit and Nyko returned as if on cue, taking the glasses without question.

 

“What will it be, Miss Jones?” He asked politely, patiently awaiting an answer.

 

“More scotch and bring some of my best cider for Clarke. Thank you, _ lukot _ .” Lexa said with a warm smile. Clarke’s eyes darted to her as the brunette once again gave her all of her attention.

 

“What language was that?” Clarke questioned, having never heard it before, even with all of her encounters with foreign ambassadors and explorers.

 

“My native tongue. I come from a very small poverty stricken country. I ask that all of my employees learn at least a basic level of the language, as I prefer to speak it in my own home.” Lexa explained, her eyes averting to the door as Nyko and another large burly man entered the dining area.

 

“Miss Jones, _ bilaik dina _ ,” The new man said politely as he set a dish in front of Lexa. “And for you.” He placed another, slightly different dish in front of Clarke and she watched with a slackened jaw as steam rose from the fresh meal.

 

“ _ Chof, Gustus. _ ” Lexa replied, smiling at this man as well. Nyko quietly set the new drinks in front of the pair and the men exited the room with curt bows of their heads. Clarke looked at Lexa with awe, as if to ask if she were really allowed to eat the food before her. 

 

“What is this?” She asked, still not touching the silverware or the food. 

 

“Steak,” Lexa provided, picking up her own knife off the table, “and you need not wait for permission to eat.”

 

That’s all the confirmation Clarke needed before digging into the food. She took a large cut piece of the stake and sign loudly as she sank her teeth into it. She couldn’t remember the last time she had eaten a hot meal, especially one as good as the one she was then.

 

“Well, Gustus will be pleased to know his skills in the kitchen are appreciated.” Lexa commented and Clarke noticed the mirth in her eyes as she looked at her.

 

Clarke and Lexa continued their meal quietly until Clarke’s plate was bare. Lexa promptly stood and made her way to a small table lining the far wall. She picked up a bundle of brown paper wrapped packages and returned to her seat.

 

“I went to the market earlier today to retrieve some things for you that I requested a few days ago from my tailor. Hopefully they fit you.” Lexa explained as she set the packages in front of Clarke who stared at them cautiously. This seemed like a gift and Clarke had never been given a gift before.

 

“What is it?” She asked as she set a hesitant hand atop the pile.

 

“Open them and see for yourself.” Lexa responded and Clarke obliged. Pulling at the first string and removing the wrapping. Sh pulled the garment out and unfolded it.

 

“Trousers?” She asked apprehensively.

 

“Yes, they’re far more practical than petticoats and corsets,” Lexa explained. “There is a few more pairs in that stack and one or two cotton shirts to go with them.”

 

“You wish for me to wear these? If it be so, I must.” Clarke said with a frown as she began opening the other packages.

 

“No, no. you mustn’t wear anything you do not wish. You are entirely free here, Clarke. I simply wanted to provide you with another option that I personally believe to be better. If you do not wish to wear them I will not be offended. I’ll simply give them to one of my maids perhaps.” Lexa ventured as she rambled on, rubbing a palm against her cheek.

 

“Your maids wear trousers?” Clarke asked aghast.

 

“Yes all of them. It’s much more practical than skirts. What with all their climbing to clean high places and crouching to reach the low nooks and crannies. It helps to have more range of motion without fear of showing your lower half to any onlookers.” Lexa informed with a gentle laugh. Clarke was still taken aback by her brashness.

 

Clarke stood to take her new clothing up to her room but Lexa stopped her. The brunette turned around and turned back around with a small suitcase in hand.

 

“This is for your belonging so you can more easily carry them on your travels. You can also use it if you do decide to accompany on my exploration as well.” Lexa stated, a hopeful glint in her eyes.

 

“You actually want me to go with you?” Clarke asked in confusion. She had assumed that had just been a cover for her to get her away from Pike.

 

“Of course, that was not a lie. I will let you sleep on it and you can tell me at breakfast tomorrow morning what you have decided in order for us to begin preparations.” She replied with a nod before standing and stepping out from behind the table. 

 

“Should I help clean up from supper?” Clarke asked, standing as well. Lexa waved her hand dismissively and made her way towards the stairwell. 

 

“No need. Enjoy the rest of your evening. If you need anything, I’ll be in for the remainder of the night, so, if you’d prefer, you can come to me if you need anything,” Lexa offers as she begins up the stairs backwards. “Nothing is off limits just don’t break anything, feel free to explore.”

 

She winks one last time and turns around, ascending the stairs quickly and disappearing down the hallway. Clarke stares for a moment before gathering her new clothing and slowly making her way to the second floor herself.

 

Once she reached her room she laid out all the new trousers and shirts. She couldn’t believe she was actually considering putting them on. Under Pike, she would have gotten a mighty beating if he even saw her looking at a pair of trousers too long for his liking. She didn’t know how to function under Lexa, who was everything good that Pike had lacked.

 

She was even giving Clarke all the freedom she could within her power, even going so far as to support her financially in whatever decisions she would make. She was even giving Clarke the option to leave the country with her and explore uncharted lands for the first time. To see things never seen or recorder by anyone before in history.

  
  
  
  


It was some ungodly hour of the morning when Clarke gave up on trying to get any decent rest. She threw the heavy cotton blankets off of herself and climbed out of the large bed. It was so comfortable so she knew that wasn’t the problem. She shivered as her bare feet hit the cold wooden floor. She was clad in only her under garments and a thin gown she usually wore under her dresses. She didn’t have any night clothes since she had just arrived and Pike hadn’t provided her any.

 

She crossed her arms over her chest and let out a slow breath as she glanced around, her warm breath creating a small cloud that soon evaporated. She was considering going into the kitchen to explore. No matter how much she hated living under Pike, she loved to bake and she hoped Lexa wouldn’t mind her invading the kitchen every now and again.

 

She took several slow, deliberate steps towards the door, attempting to be as quiet as possible. She stepped out of the room, gently closing the door behind her. She froze like a statue when she heard a muffled crash. It had come from above.

 

She looked around in confusion after a moment and realized there was an open corridor at the end of the hall that had a small flight of steps leading to another floor. She slowly padded over, her feet making quiet tapping sounds. She reached the stairs and hesitated.

 

What if the crashing sound was Lexa in a rage throwing things as Pike always did? What if she went up to find her fuming and enraged and she took it out upon Clarke as Pike had done?

 

It took almost ten minutes for Clarke to decide that it couldn’t be, Lexa was not like that at all. And there was only the one crash, it could have been Nyko bumping something. Or maybe Lexa had a house cat that she just hadn’t seen yet and it had pushed something over.

 

She reached the top of the steps and steadily made her way down the dark hall. She clung to herself attempting to keep warm but the thin gown provided close to nothing by way of shielding from the cold.

 

Every door was open but all were dark and unoccupied until she reached the very end of the hall and a door was right at the end in between the two sides of the hall. She looked under the door and saw a faint light leaking out.

 

She wasn’t sure if she should knock or just walk right in, but her curiosity got the better of her and she tapped her knuckles shyly against the wooden door. She waited what felt like an eternity before lifting her hand to knock again but before she could bring her hands against the door it slowly creaked open.

 

Lexa poked her head out and squinted through the dark. She looked disheveled and tired and it concerned Clarke for reasons she couldn’t figure out.

 

“Are you alright?” she asked softly, studying Lexa’s features in the dim light. Lexa raised an eyebrow and nodded and Clarke was almost hurt by her unfriendliness.

 

“Why are you out of bed? Are  _ you _ alright?” She questioned and Clarke’s mild hurt faded as she smiled.

 

“Yes, everything is wonderful. I’m just having trouble falling asleep. I heard a loud noise and thought you might be in distress.” Clarke explained causing Lexa to grin as she pressed her shoulder against the door frame. 

 

“You’re worried about me?” She questioned and Clarke only nodded. Without another word, Lexa pushed the door open more and beckoned her into the room.

 

Clarke wavered slightly once she was inside. She realized it was a study but it was very different than Pike’s. There was a large desk off to the side, towers of books stacked precariously on just about every surface, there were also random objects that Clarke figured were artifacts on any surface a book was not and then some. In the center of the wall opposite the door was a fireplace with a fire blazing in side of it. In front of the hearth was a large bear skin rug and an odd looking couch.

 

“This looks very cozy.” She commented quietly and Lexa chuckled.

 

“Sit by the fire, you look chilled to the bone.” Clarke looked at her a moment before obeying and sitting on the bear skin rug in front of the fire. She immediately felt better as the heat washed over her goose bumped skin.

 

She turned and looked at Lexa as she brunette lowered herself next to Clarke. Clarke continued to stare even as Lexa watched the fire dance in silence, a thoughtful look on her face. She was leaned back against the couch, one knee crooked and an arm draped over it as the other went up over the cushions of the couch to hold herself up. Clarke’s fingers itched to touch her face and she wished she had brought her notebook.

 

“What’s troubling you, darling.” Lexa said finally, turning her undivided attention to Clarke. The blonde ignored the fact of how aware she was of the soft curve of Lexa’s cupid bow or the definition of her jaw and cheek bones.

 

“I’m not sure really,” She breathed after a moment, the only thought in her head being how badly she wanted to draw Lexa. “I feel alright. Perhaps the long day has just excited me too much?”

 

“Perhaps,” Lexa echoed, her voice so soft and Clarke imagined her tongue dripping in honey. She was such a sweet talker and it made her heart flutter for reasons she refused to acknowledge. “What’s been on your mind?” 

 

“Everything, so much has happened. You changed my entire life.” she admitted. She found herself unable to hold back with Lexa, her gentle gaze seemed to make it impossible to not spill all of her deepest secrets.

 

“I’ve simply done what I believed to be the fair thing. You deserve only joy and unconditional love in this life, Clarke.” Lexa whispered, reaching over and brushing hair out of Clarke’s face as the blonde stared into the flames. This time, Clarke imagined her voice was a cloud waiting for Clarke to fall into it and engulf her.

 

“I guess, I just have been thinking a lot about how I ended up being bought by Pike.” She said as she tilted her head back to rest against the couch. Lexa saw the indecision in her eyes and laced her fingers through Clarke’s.

 

“Would you like to tell me how that came to be?” She asked after a moment, tracing circles against the back of Clarke’s hand with her thumb. Clarke dropped her head to the side to look at Lexa sideways.

 

“I believe so.” She said and paused to lift her head and look at the brunette for another moment. She looked directly into her emerald irises and found herself lost momentarily.

 

“Take all the time you need.” Lexa comforted, continuing to draw shapes against her hand as Clarke took a deep breath and began.

 

“Well, I was eight years old. Much like most charges, I was sold at a young age. Given to the ring man, shipped to the city, and kept in the stocks by night, worked in the stables by day. One day a man in a funny green hat came in and told me I’d been bought to a good home. I was foolish enough to believe that meant my agony was at an end.” She explained shaking her head in astonishment. Lexa remained silent, simply listening, which Clarke was grateful for.

 

“I rode a train to the very outskirts of the city to Pike’s house and I was thrilled, his house was so big and there were horses that I hoped to learn to ride. But when I got there, the man in the green hat didn’t even bring me in, he didn’t even exit the carriage. He simply handed me a potato sack of my three belongings and drove away.”

 

I thought what was happening to me was sort of like adoption, like he would be my new father. No one had explained anything to me. I went inside and he greeted me and showed me around the house. The last room was the kitchen and he told me to stand still. He picked up a bag of salt and poured some onto the floor. He made my kneel in it and it stung. I asked him why I was being punished and he slapped me as hard as he could across the face.” She stopped to fight back a small sob and Lexa slid closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

 

“He was screaming and he told me this was how my life was to be. I would do as he says without question or I’d be punished. I would not ask questions or I would be punished. I would not speak unless spoken to, I would perform every task to his satisfaction, I would cook , clean, keep his calendars, perform as his secretary when I turned fifteen, I would care for the animals, clean the barn, and manage his gardens. There were no excuses if something wasn’t done or wasn’t done how he wanted it.” Clarke felt Lexa’s muscles contract as she continued but she didn’t want to look at her face yet.

 

“I was punished nearly every day. At first it was the salt, her would make me salt there for hours until my knees bled and bruised. When I turned ten it was the belt. Fifteen and it was a wooden paddle. When I turned eighteen it became the whips and the cattle prods he used on the heifers.” Clarke was unable to hold back the sob any more and shook momentarily as she cried into Lexa’s shoulder.

 

“How old are you?” Lexa asked after Clarke managed to calm down a bit. Lexa’s voice sounded stern and she was shaking slightly, but Clarke knew she wasn’t crying. She sat up and finally looked at Lexa’s face. It was red and her eyes were nearly glowing but by the way her jaw was set and her brow was furrowed, Clarke could tell it was rage.

 

“I’m nineteen.” She replied and Lexa blinked slowly.

 

“And when was the last time?” She questioned even further and Clarke frowned.

 

“After you left his office the other morning.” She said, afraid to tell her why for some reason.

 

“What did her do to you, why?”

 

“He burned me with the brander and used the whip.” She said, her voice shaking at the thought.

 

“Why?” Lexa repeated, not willing to let it go.

 

“He… He was angry with how your meeting went. He hated the way you spoke to him.” She whispered fearfully. Lexa’s nostrils flared and she whipped her head away to look in the opposite direction of Clarke as she shook with rage. 

 

“That was not your fault.” Lexa practically growled and Clarke could tell she was speaking through gritted teeth.

 

“It wasn’t your fault either.” Clarke murmured and reached for Lexa, sliding a hand across her collar and gently pulling her chin so she would look at her. Lexa slowly turned her head but wouldn’t look at her and Clarke became terrified that she had angered Lexa. She slid her hand further up to cup Lexa’s cheek and slid her other hand to cradle the back of her neck. 

 

“It is exactly my fault.” Lexa let out a slow shaking breath and Clarke shifted to fully face her as she slid closer. 

 

“No, you saved me. You are my savior, Lexa. Thanks to you, I don’t ever have to live through that again.” She said trying to sooth Lexa’s anger. She gently pressed her forehead into the brunettes and closed her eyes, hoping the contact would help.

 

“I’ll skin him alive.” Lexa snarled and Clarke shook her head, backing up slightly.

 

“No, don’t. It’s okay, I promise I’m okay. I’m safe now thanks to you.” Clarke pleaded, she didn’t know why she felt so desperate but a small voice in the back of her mind was telling her it was because she wanted Lexa to stay soft and stay with her. She didn’t care what happened to Pike anymore, Lexa had saved her.

 

“But it’s not enough, he should suffer for what he’s done to you.” She argued, clenching and unclenching her fists.

 

“No,” She paused as she looked into Lexa’s eyes, “why won’t you look at me, please look at me.” 

 

Lexa obliged and looked back into her eyes, Clarke could see tears beginning to gather there. She smiled sadly and pressed their foreheads together again, taking a deep breathe and brushing her thumb across Lexa’s jaw soothingly.

 

“I’m staying with you. Please, stay with me as you are now. Please stay kind.” She was trying no to beg but she had been desperate for someone as benevolent as Lexa and here she was right in front of her, literally in her hands. She  _ was _ begging and she  _ was _ desperate and she never wanted to leave Lexa.

 

“I promise, I swear to you, I will always take care of you, Clarke.” Lexa said firmly, wrapping her arms around Clarke’s torso. She pulled Clarke in and held her close until they both calmed down. When she lifted her head to move away, she realized Clarke had fallen asleep so she laid her in her lap and stayed like that for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope it was a good one. I had to look up all the stuff about the wines bc I dont really know anything about the history of it and i had to find out what years they were first made lol. I know some of the concepts are a bit confusing so if anyone has a question feel free to leave a comment and ill explain better. more of it will be explained as the story goes on but if your as impatient as i am and just want to fully understand feel free to just ask.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> buckle up boys this is a long ass chapter. it starts a bit more humorous and Lexa is a total dork but it gets more serious as Lexa tells Clarke about how she grew up and she even reveals her (not-so-little) secret. plus it gets a lil steamy but not like that perv (jk). longest chapter yet weighing in at a grand total of 5604 words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a quick disclaimer:
> 
> READ THE TAGS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!! I PUT IT THERE BEFORE HAND BUT LEXA HAS A DICK!!!!!! SO IF YOU DONT LIKE THAT OR YOU JUST ARENT DOWN FOR IT YOU DONT HAVE TO READ THIS STORY OR YOU CAN JUST SKIP OR IGNORE THE PARTS THAT ITS MENTIONED IN BUT PLEASE DONT COMMENT ABOUT HOW SHOCKED YOU ARE BC I GAVE PLENTY OF WARNING THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

The next morning when Clarke awoke, she was alone on the heavily feathered couch with a huge fur blanket draped over her. The fire had died down to a few embers still glowing and she stared at them until her mind had a chance to fully wake up.

 

She sat up slowly, stretching her arms high above her head as a yawn nearly split her jaw. Her muscles ached slightly from having been in such an awkward position for the past couple hours but she felt well rested. When she looked around she saw that there was a plate of food on the table at the end of the couch. There were eggs and toast and what looked to be a bowl of oatmeal all of it still steaming.

 

She scooted farther down the couch and picked up the plate and set it in her lap, devouring the eggs and jam toast in only a couple minutes. She put the plate back and picked up the oatmeal and was halfway through it when she heard a thump causing her to nearly jump out of her skin.

 

“Ow.” She heard Lexa groan flatly. Clarke whipped her head around trying to find her but she was nowhere in sight. Suddenly a mass of brown curls and braids popped up from, behind the desk. Lexa had tied all of her hair up on the top of her head for some reason. 

 

“Lexa?” She questioned and the brunette hair flew every which way and Lexa spun her head around. She looked absolutely bewildered and somewhat confused as to where she was.

 

“Oh, hello,” She said as if nothing had happened. “How’s um… how’s the toast?” She finished casually, the upper half of her head still the only thing still visible.”

 

“It was good, I finished it,” Clarke realized she was still holding the spoon halfway to her mouth and she set it back in the bowl. “What are you doing back there? Are you okay?” 

 

“Oh, this? I do this all the time,” She said as she blew a strand of hair out of her face. “Just um… You know… Enjoying the view, taking it all in,” she paused again and turned towards the wall in front of her. “It’s a beautiful city.”

 

“Lexa?” Clarke would have laughed at Lexa’s odd behavior if she weren’t so confused. Lexa whipped her head back around, eyes wide and acted like she had only just realized Clarke was there.

 

“Oh, yes?” She asked, still staying put behind the desk.

 

“There’s no window in that wall.”

 

“Not yet!” Lexa nearly shouted and Clarke decided to set the bowl of oatmeal back on the table. She stood and slowly began to make her way across the large room towards the desk.

 

“Are you alright? You’re acting strange. Do you want me to-” Clarke tried to offer help but Lexa quickly cut her off.

 

“No!” Clarke jumped slightly at her volume and froze, feeling like something was terribly wrong, “I mean… yes, I feel just fine, thank you for your concern. No, I am in no need of assistance, just bumped my head a bit.”

 

“Do you want me to fetch Nyko for you to make sure there’s no blood?” Clarke asked. Maybe she was acting strange because how hard she hit her head.

 

“No, no. No need for that,” Lexa said turning away from her again and disappearing for a moment before her head popped back into view. “Speaking of my dapper butler, I believe he mentioned new shoes for you that he just picked up if you’d like to go see him.” 

 

“Yeah, okay. I’ll see you at lunch then?” Lexa simply nodded and glanced at the door. Clarke was anything but daft and she understood the point. She exited the room quickly and shut the door behind herself. 

 

She got half way down the hallway before she stopped and turned to look at the door. After a few moments of deliberation she decided it best to not go back in so she shook her head to shake loose the confusion and continued her descent through the house.

  
  
  
  


Lexa let out a loud sigh of relief once Clarke exited the room. She had every intention to tell Clarke of her secret but the moment was not right and that was not the correct way for her to find out.

 

She had gotten a life times worth of bad reactions and she didn’t want to drive Clarke away so soon. The girl deserved truth but she deserved security as well.

 

Lexa looked down at her restrictive undergarments covering her lower half and sighed. She hadn’t meant to wake up half naked next to Clarke, she hadn’t even intended to fall asleep. She did, however, have a tendency to strip down in her sleep if she felt overheated and she had done just that.

 

As soon as she woke up and made sure Clarke was still sound asleep, she had crawled away quickly and hid under her desk. For some reason, she couldn’t find her clothing, as she had crawled away it had been nowhere to be seen. 

 

Nyko had come in and left her breakfast, most likely not even realizing Lexa was still there but Lexa was too afraid to try to get his attention for fear of rousing Clarke.

 

She stayed there for only a moment or so after he’d gone when she heard Clarke stirring and she had silently cursed herself and slid further under the cover of the desk. Her leg eventually lost feeling and she attempted to shift to allow her blood to flow better but she had moved too quickly and slammed the back of her head on the hardwood.

 

Which was when Clarke had called her name. She finally got her to leave and now she had to make sure she could get to her room without Clarke popping up and catching her. 

 

She stood and shivered, since it was now colder in the room since the fire died down. She went to the hearth and placed a couple logs inside and stoked the embers before heading for the door. 

 

She slid the door open and checked that Clarke had gone before she tiptoed to the steps and snuck down. She paused at the bottom when she heard the blonde’s voice just down the hall. Lexa dove behind a large potted shrubbery and looked around frantically before panicking and covering her crotch with both hands. 

 

“They’re lovely, sir. Thank you.” She heard Clarke say giddily and she momentarily forgot about her panic as she smiled a dopey smile at how happy Clarke sounded. 

 

“You’re welcome, Clarke. Call me Nyko.” She heard the butler reply and she snapped back to reality. She looked around again before groaning inwardly and picking up the pot the shrub was in.

 

It would provide enough cover for her to make it to her room hopefully if Clarke didn’t walk into the hallway. She started to shuffle down the hall when she heard a surprised gasp.

 

“Lexa, is that you?” Clarke asked.

 

“Bloody hell,” she grumbled and glanced around the leaves. “Hello, Clarke. Don’t mind me just… redecorating.” She hid her face again and rolled her eyes so hard it made her head ache. She couldn’t believe she was acting so foolishly.

 

“Are you-”

 

“Oh, Miss Jones!” She heard Nyko exclaim and she silently thanked him for rescuing her. “Come Clarke, let’s go give your new shoes a first try.”

 

She peaked through the leaves to see Nyko with his hands on Clarke’s shoulders guiding her towards the stairs. Lexa quickly set the pot down and hopped around it but apparently she did it too loudly because Clarke began to turn.

 

She panicked and dove towards the wall, one hand over her crotch and her other arm across her chest as she pressed herself flush against the wall. She pressed her cheek against the cold wood and squeezed her eyes shut hoping she would just walk away.

 

She heard footsteps and a hand settling on her lower back, she jumped at the sudden contact. She quickly spun her head and craned her neck to look at Clarke who was looking at her with what seemed like every ounce of concern she could muster.

 

“Oh, hello. How is your morning going? That’s good!” Lexa stuttered far too quickly, her face no doubt bright red. And as she glanced over Clarke’s shoulder to see Nyko smirking a few feet back, she knew she looked as crimson as a ripe tomato.

 

“Lexa, where are your clothes?” Clarke asked timidly, Lexa felt bad for scaring her but she had no choice. “Why are you hiding? What’s wrong? Turn, let me see what’s wrong.” Clarke gently pulled Lexa’s shoulder to turn her around and Lexa yelped frantically.

 

“They went for a walk, be back in five!” She yelled as her voice cracked like a young boy. She quickly slipped out from Clarke’s grasp and jumped to the side before darting into her room and slamming the door. 

 

Clarke stood frozen in shock as she watched Lexa scuttle then she turned to look at Nyko to see if he was equally shocked. All she saw was a look of pure amusement on his face before he saw the look she was giving him and he cleared his throat as he wiped the smug grin from his face.

 

“She uh… does this every morning.” She said calmly and Clarke threw her hands up in exasperation.

  
  
  


Later that day, it was nearing lunch time and Clarke was growing tired of listening to her stomach rumble so she exited her room only to bump directly into Lexa who seemed to have just been standing there directly in front of the door.

 

“Oh, I was preparing to knock.” Lexa said sheepishly, averting her eyes as Clarke tried to make eye contact.

 

“Hello, are you going down for lunch?” Clarke asked and Lexa nodded but stayed put simply staring at the floor between their feet.

 

“Lexa,” the brunette finally looked up and looked into her eyes, “I would like it if you explained the events of this morning.”

 

Lexa nodded and looked away again, this time towards the stairs. She sighed before looking back at Clarke and nodding once again.

 

“I understand. I will explain it to you. Just not right this moment.” She said quietly, breathing out hard through her nose. Clarke suddenly realized how close they were standing to each other as she felt her breath brushing against her collar. She also found herself staring at the gentle curve of Lexa’s cupid’s bow once again. She secretly wondered if Lexa’s lips were as soft as they looked.

 

“Why not now?” She asked, whispering now as she felt like Lexa had stolen the air from her lungs. Lexa frowned and took Clarke’s hand in her own as she spoke her next words.

 

“You’ll soon find out,” She provided and brought Clarke’s hand up to her face and placed feather light kisses against her knuckles. “And I would like to apologize for my actions this morning. They were brash and rude and I would love it if you could find it in yourself to forgive me for being so surly with you. You are far too special to be treated as I did to you this morning.” 

 

Clarke’s eyelids fluttered in time with her heart beat and she sighed lightly as Lexa placed a kiss against her knuckles once more. She never dare say it out loud but Lexa was making her swoon and she couldn’t find it in herself to care that Lexa had been rude earlier that day. She just wanted Lexa to do more of what she was doing.

 

“There’s nothing to forgive,” She murmured distractedly as she watched Lexa’s lips move across her skin. “You’re quite suave, aren’t you _ Miss Jones _ .”

 

“Do I _flatter_ you?” Lexa replied without missing a beat. She lowered Clarke’s hand, to the blonde’s disappointment, but then placed her other hand on Clarke’s hip.

 

“Without a doubt.” She responded lightly, waiting for Lexa to move in any direction. She was finding it harder to breathe than ever before and she felt as if Lexa were the only thing that could aid her.

 

“Do you know how to dance, Clarke?” Lexa asked and Clarke shook her head, unable to speak. “Well, I’ll teach you sometime. And now that you’ve decided to stay we can begin to sort out a more permanent living situation for you.

 

They stood for a moment as they were before Lexa detached herself and stepped back. She didn’t hesitate before offering a crooked arm to Clarke, who wrapped her hands around it quickly and took her place tuck close into Lexa’s side as they disembark down the stairs.

 

They went into the dining room and took their seats from the previous night only seconds before Gustus emerged with their meals.

 

After they had been eating already for several minutes, Lexa set down her fork and spoke.

 

“I’ve been quite lonely here.” She admitted and Clarke looked over at her sympathetically.

 

“Why? You have so many people here daily.” Clarke stated, genuinely curious.

 

“It’s different with you. I feel connected to you in ways I’ve been unable to do with others, even Nyko, who has been with me nearly since I arrived in this country, and Gustus who has been with me my entire life.” Clarke wasn’t sure how, but it made perfect sense. Clarke had had people before but none like she felt the immediate draw to Lexa.

 

“I understand.” She affirmed and the pair began eating again.

 

Once they finished, Lexa brought Clarke back upstairs and they stood in front Clarke’s door once again. They stared for a moment before Lexa took her hand again, only pressing a quick kiss to her fingers before dropping it again.

 

“Clarke,” She looked up then from her hand and looked into Lexa’s eyes. She was surprised when she saw the deep vulnerability suddenly in them. “I’d like to share something with you.”

 

“You can tell me anything.” Clarke comforted and Lexa ducked her head, averting her eyes.

 

“Will you come into my room? It’s a long story.” Clarke nodded and followed Lexa into her bedroom. The colors of the room matched Lexa’s fashion choices a lot, all greens and browns and blacks alongside some reds and purples.

 

In one corner the bed was pushed against the walls, most likely to provide more floor space. There was another bear rug on the floor parallel to the bed and off to the other side was another desk stacked high with with papers and books but upon further inspection Clarke could see these books and such were more financial than anything to study.

 

There were a few large cushioned chairs to one side in front of a wood burning stove. In the other corner was a enormous bookshelf lined with novels and trinkets. There was a large standing globe next to the bookshelf and in the empty spaces against the foot of the bed and the wall by the wood stove were trunks which Clarke assumed they held clothes or blankets. 

 

There were a few paintings of nature scenes, one picture portrait of Lexa with another woman and a large man. She walked up to it and brushed her finger across it. Lexa was depicted sitting in a large purple arm chair, a fur of an animal Clarke couldn’t identify draped around her shoulders. 

 

She was adorning black slacks and a very white cotton shirt under the large fur. She was holding a large staff with a light green stone at the top side, matching her eyes. Her other arm was extended straight out to the side and a golden globe was resting in her open palm. Her head was turned completely to the side and she seemed to be looking at the globe. Her hair was up in in an elegant, complex up-do, strands dangling down in perfect ringlets framing her face. On top of her head sat a large object that looked like dozens polished branches tangled together intricately to for a crown.

 

The woman beside her was dressed almost identically but her slacks were grey and the fur on her shoulders was smaller and orange. Clarke identified it as a fox fur. She was standing at an angle from the camera, her shoulders squared, her hand on the side closest to Lexa was resting on Lexa’s shoulders. In her other hand she held a long bulky spyglass at her side.

 

The man was behind the chair to the opposite side. He also was wearing a white shirt, but he had a vest over his and his slacks were brown to match it. He wore a fur draped over one shoulder and tied under his other arm so that it crossed his chest. She couldn’t tell what animal it was but it was dark brown. He had a large sword in one hand at his side and the other was gripping the back of the large chair.

 

The two on the sides seemed to be shielding Lexa as she looked down upon the earth. Like a Queen and her court. Or a Goddess and her champions.

 

“Who are they?” She asked quietly as Lexa sidled up behind her. Clarke fought of the shudder that threatened to run against her spine when she felt Lexa’s hip press into her side and her chest push against her shoulder as she leaned around Clarke to inspect the picture as well, brushing dust off of it.

 

“The woman is my sister, Anya. The man is my brother, Lincoln. We had this taken a few years ago. It was quite expensive.” She informed Clarke and Clarke watched hr talk and ten more questions formed.

 

“How is it in color?” She settled to ask, deciding the other questions could wait.

 

“I paid an artist to paint to film roll. You can tell if you you look closely enough.” And sure enough when Clarke looked closer she saw that some of the colors went outside of the boundaries of the object in some spots but only barely.

 

“What is it that you want to tell me?” Lexa’s face settled into an expression Clarke didn’t recognize as she invited her to sit with her on the chairs. The brunette remained silent as she put a few pieces of wood in the wood burner and started a fire to keep warm. 

 

She took a seat adjacent to Clarke and looked idly around the room for several silent moments as she searched for the right words to use.

 

“I grew up in another country for the first five years of my life. I barely remember it. Me and my siblings were sent here a few weeks after i turned five with only one suitcase between the three of us and empty pockets. All we had were each other and a few pairs of clothes. For the first fifteen years I lived in this country, me and my sister cut our hair when out brother did in the same style and dressed as boys because the only clothes we had were for boys.” Lexa began to explain and Clarke listened patiently, eager to hear anything about Lexa’s past.

 

We worked as Newsboys for four years and when my brother turned ten we used all the money the three of us had saved to buy a shoe polishing chair on a street corner. We made more money there than we did as Newsboys so we eventually bought a second chair and a third and were making more money then we ever had before. A full dollar for ever pair of shoes. We were great at it too.”

 

When my brother turned eighteen we finally had enough money for a tiny water closet sized apartment and all we could fit inside was a tiny hay mattress but we loved it because back home we lived in a hut and for the first ten years we lived here we slept in the streets and ate moldy bread. We could finally spend our money on food.”

 

“That must have been very hard for you to go through as a child.” Clarke sympathized and Lexa nodded.

 

“Eventually my brother got a job in a factory and started making twice as much as he had been so when my sister turned eighteen two years later, she did the same. And I followed as well. We both still passed as men because we had been living that way since we got here so it came naturally, plus I was born with an advantage but I’ll tell you that soon.” Clarke was confused but didn’t ask questions.

 

I was already from strong stock and knew how to work hard so it came naturally, all the heavy lifting we had to do. I only worked there for a year though, when i was nineteen i was hired as a farmhand to an elderly man whose son was an over seas explorer. That’s how i began. When the elderly man died, his son felt guilty about firing a pour farm boy and he decided to give me an apprenticeship.”

 

He taught me how to read, write, draw maps, navigate, sail, survive in the wilderness, and even hunt. He began getting to old to leave the country and by the time i was twenty-two I’d gone on four voyages with him and had the hang of it so I started signing on for random short voyages that offered hefty payment until i bought my own boat and crew and started my own journeys. The first man who trained me discovered my two deepest secrets: that i was not a man and the one I’m going to share with you shortly.”

 

He took that as further initiative to take me in. Gustus and Nyko used to be the elderly farmers charges and I had known them before because they were often sent to get their masters shoes repaired and shined. When he died they were given to his son in his will and when i began my own voyages he gave them to me and I’ve been living with them as I do now since then.”

 

Clarke sat for a moment taking everything in silence as she simply looked at Lexa. She had hundreds of questions and she couldn’t even articulate them all.

 

“How old are you?” She settled to ask first.

 

“Twenty-six.” Lexa answered shortly.

 

Clarke noticed she was moving around a lot and wringing her hands then rubbing her palms down the tops of her thighs. She was nervous and Clarke looked at her face again and saw she was sweating quite a bit.

 

“Are you okay?” Clarke asked filled with concern.

 

“I need to tell you something before you fully decide you want to stay here and go on this journey with me.” Lexa said quietly, looking at anything but Clarke. The blonde was confused, what could be so bad that Lexa thought she might run away. “But before i do i need you to promise that you won’t tell anyone.”

 

“I promise.” She said without hesitation.

 

“When I was born, everyone thought I was a boy, I was raised as a boy even in my home country and even I thought I was a boy until I reached early adolescence. We’d always known I wasn’t like other boys because I wasn’t ever able to be as strong as them and I always had softer features,” She paused to make sure Clarke had time to let it all sink in. “I started to blossom into a young woman and that’s when me and my siblings realized that something was very different and it was more drastic than we thought.”

 

Our solution was for me to continue my life as a man and just bind my chest tightly so that my breasts were concealed. Trouble arose when other boys our age would take of their shirts during work, I’d get injured, or when other boys would play ball and remove their shirt. I couldn’t do the same and was hassled for being the only boy who wouldn’t. My sister didn’t have this problem because she eventually quit her job at the factory after only a short time and grew her hair out and the transition into passing as a woman was easy. None of us were well known enough at the time for it to be very public. When I moved to this city with them all was forgotten. I grew my own hair out at the age of twenty-three and decided to pass as a woman.”

 

Clarke stared for nearly ten long minutes and she was still entirely lost. She didn’t understand anything Lexa was trying to tell her.

 

“Wait, why did everyone think you were a boy when you were young?” Clarke asked, her brow furrowed as she unsuccessfully attempted to put two and two together.

 

“Clarke, I was born with male anatomy but I am actually a woman.” Clarke continued to stare and She slowly locked the pieces together. She let out a quiet gasp as she finally understood.

 

“How is that possible, how peculiar.” She mused, trying to not picture what Lexa may look like entirely nude. She looked at Lexa and saw her face was completely bright red as her mouth moved but no words came out.

 

“I.. I… It’s not… I can…” She fumbled with her words, trying to make sense of the messy thoughts running through her head.

 

“Lexa, why did you expect me to want to run away because of that?” She asked, understanding only what Lexa had told her, but not why it was something to be fearful of.

 

“Many people have believed people like me to be demon possessed and many have been found dead if their secret is revealed.” Lexa told her and Clarke’s heart felt heavy imagining Lexa dead. Or that Lexa thought she could be one of those hateful fiends.

 

“It’s nothing to be afraid of, you’re just built different. You’re special.” She said sternly, wanting Lexa to understand that she meant it. 

 

“You are one of very few to believe so, and it comes as a great relief.” Lexa said, and she was right. Clarke felt she could see Lexa looked a bit lighter.

 

“I don’t mean to intrude or be vulgar, but are you capable of impregnating a woman?” she wasn’t sure why she asked but she was genuinely curious to know exactly how she functioned.

 

“I don’t know,” Lexa chuckled. “I don’t have any children yet. I’ve always dreamed of a family of my own. It still functions how any man's would.” She replied and now it was Clarke’s turn to blush crimson at what Lexa was suggesting.

 

“Have you been bedded?” Clarke whispered as if they weren’t alone. Lexa chuckled again and ducked her head, shaking it back and forth.

 

“I’m not exactly proud of it, but yes a few times. When I was first learning about myself I was quite lost and I was brought to a brothel was I was seventeen. I remained clothed during the act and left immediately after. I returned a few more times over the years and did the same thing but I haven’t in several years and I don’t intend to again.” Clarke gasped shyly and covered her face in embarrassment at Lexa’s revelation.

 

“I… What is it like?” She mumbled a few moments later, feeling a little less embarrassed. 

 

“In full honesty,” Lexa paused as if she were thinking about it. “It was slightly enjoyable once or twice but most of the time I was just experimenting and the women were just after my money. I hope if I can find the right lady that it will become more enjoyable like most men claim it to be.” 

 

Clarke blushed even more and hid her face in her shoulder. Lexa chuckled quietly at her bashfulness and reached out to run a hand through her hair. 

 

“I’ve never even been properly kissed.” Clarke said with a small laugh.

 

“So, you’ve been improperly kissed?” Lexa asked teasingly and Clarke laughed, lightly swatting her shoulder.

 

“Yes,” they both laughed before Clarke continued, “once the stable boy on Pike’s farm snuck a kiss but the only thing I returned was a slap. I believe I was only eleven.”

 

“I don’t mean to sound like a floozy but I’ve done a lot of kissing in my lifetime. Foreign woman love kissing, even sometimes if you’re also a woman.” Lexa laughed and Clarke’s mouth hung open in shock. 

 

“You dog!” Clarke said, pushing playfully against Lexa’s shoulder, who only laughed more. They continued to laugh together for a while before they fell into a comfortable silence. 

 

Clarke’s mind was wondering cruelly, putting images in her mind that she was unable to shake and  it was causing her skin to overheat and her lower stomach to tingle. She looked back at Lexa and saw she was still glowing gently with a sheen of sweat. She couldn’t help but wonder what the brunette was thinking about.

 

“Lexa?” Lexa smiled at the sound of her name coming from the blonde.

 

“Yes, darling?” Clarke ignored the fluttering of her heartbeat. 

 

“How will you know when you’ve found the right woman for you?” Lexa raised a brow and tilted her head back slightly.

 

“I’m not sure,” Clarke frowned, finding herself disappointed for some reason. “But I think I am finding my way to knowing.” Lexa had eyes for only Clarke now. 

 

“Lexa?” Clarke asked as she stared back, trying to place what the emotion was that she saw so deeply in Lexa’s eyes.

 

“Yes, darling?” she repeated causing Clarke to smile this time.

 

“I don’t want to cross any lines, but I can’t stop my curiosity.” Now Lexa frowned, reaching for Clarke’s hand.

 

“What seems to be troubling you?” Clarke smiled even more and laced her fingers through Lexa’s.

 

“Will you show me?” She asked bashfully, confusing Lexa.

 

“Show you what sweetheart?” Clarke suddenly got more nervous.

 

“You. All of you. I’m curious now and I can’t forget it.” Lexa simply stared at her for a moment before she nodded slowly.

 

Lexa got to her feet without a word and walked toward her bed. She began to remove her over-shirt and Clarke got up and followed her over, her bare feet settling on the soft fur of the bear skin rug.

 

Lexa turned to face her as she removed her under shirt, folding both pieces of clothing and setting them on the bed. Clarke wasn’t sure why but she felt like she was unfair to Lexa so she began to untie her corset.

 

“What are you doing?” Lexa asked as she paused to look at Clarke. 

 

“It’s only fair.” Clarke cooed softly as she began to slip out of her dress. Lexa hesitated for a moment before removing her trousers. 

 

Lexa stood still in front of Clarke as she watched the blonde remove her thin gown that she wore under her dress. They both stood about a foot apart in only their smallest undergarments simply looking into each others eyes.

  
  


“Is this enough, or would you like me to remove more?” Lexa asked under her breath, feeling fearful that something would snap if she spoke any louder.

 

“No, no you’re okay as you are.” Clarke responded at an equal volume. 

 

Lexa tensed up slightly as Clarke took a step forward but she relaxed into her tough as she felt her hands settle against her abdomen. Clarke was in awe of all the muscles that wrapped themselves around Lexa’s bones, she looked like a sculpture.

 

Lexa looked across Clarke’s pale skin and saw every scar on her body that she could see from where she was standing. The sight brought tears to eyes especially as she saw some were still red as they healed and several in her line of sight were still very new, scabbed over and even slightly bloody.

 

She stared at Lexa’s stomach as the muscles under her hands contracted wherever she touched. Lexa stared down at her as she stepped a bit closer, the pair now only mere inches apart. 

 

Clarke’s breath caught when she looked below Lexa’s stomach and saw the bulge that protruded from between her legs, her under pants looked so tight Clarke didn’t understand how she could be comfortable.

 

“Those look so uncomfortable.” She whispered and ran her finger tips along the top line of the material.

 

“I wear them for the same reasons you wear a corset.” Lexa responded, still whispering.

 

“If I stopped wearing my corset, would you wear something different?” Clarke challenged and Lexa thought for a moment before nodding.

 

“I certainly would.” She said, her voice catching towards the end as Clarke’s fingers momentarily brushed lower than she intended.

 

“I’m sorry.” She said quickly, moving her hands back up to her stomach and looking back up at her. Lexa was breathing heavily and both women realized at the same time that they were nearly chest to chest.

 

“So, it’s settled then. No more corset and no more restrictive garments.” Clarke nodded slowly, distracted by the raspiness of Lexa’s voice.

 

Clarke moved further forward and rested her forehead against Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa didn’t miss a beat as she wrapped her arms around Clarke and held her until she was satisfied and the blonde stepped back. 

 

They both continued to simply take each other in as they stood nearly entirely bare before each other, both physically and emotionally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks fro reading sorry for any mistakes. i hope you enjoyed this chapter it took me a while but i didnt have school today so i took a lot of breaks from school work to write so i managed to get this chapter done. let me know what you think and maybe let me know what you'd like to see in chapters to come and ill see about adding it to the story :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i think this is the shortest chapter so far. its a bit steamy but not too hot yet ;). i hope you all enjoy. Its two weeks after the last chapter and Clexa begin to try to figure out a bit of how there life will be with Clarke staying with Lexa. Dont worry they work it out. and ill cut the tension before too long ;))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's siblings are gonna make their first appearance in the next chapter, it was gonna be this one but i decided id like to make them two separate chapters. plus i wanted to finish one today and post before the end of the day but its literally 12:13 am right now so i just missed it. just pretend this was posted like 15 minutes earlier. sorry for any errors, enjoy :)

It had been almost two weeks since Lexa and Clarke had their last actual conversation, for the past fourteen days or so, Lexa had been distracted, absent minded, or just not even there. She seemed to always be running in and out of the house and when she was there she would spend most of her time cooped up in her study. She had stopped even showing up to meals, leaving Clarke to dine alone for each meal. Occasionally Lexa would make an appearance during meals but she would eat quickly in silence before disappearing again.

Clarke had started to join Gustus in the kitchen where she met the other two cooks, Indra and Roan. The maids, as it turned out, only came through about once a week and Clarke had met them and talked to them both times they’d come by.

Clarke actually recognized one of the maids and realized a few days later that she had worked for Pike in the past as well, when they were both younger. The maid’s names were Echo, Raven, Harper, and Monroe. They were all fairly friendly, or at least willing to carry a conversation. With Clarke’s rising loneliness and self-doubt, she needed all the human contact she could get.

It was Sunday, mid-morning, and Clarke had drawn a bath for herself. The maids would be coming again that night and Lexa had told her on the go the previous evening that her siblings would be joining them for dinner. Clarke was just glad she could eat a meal with other people again. She had taken to eating an apple or a bit of toast while the cooks were working and she would sit in the kitchen and converse with them. She then would take the finished meal up to Lexa’s study, ask her how she was fairing, then leave because she was able to tell when her presence wasn’t exactly necessary.

 

She was letting herself soak in the water, her mind wandering to places she wished it wouldn’t as she stared up at the ceiling. She couldn’t help but think that Lexa’s behavior was ultimately her fault, Lexa had been purposely avoiding her and she assumed it’s cause to be the last time they talked. 

 

She couldn’t help but wonder if things would be happening differently right now if she had reacted differently. Or no apologized for touching her. Or maybe even gone farther. But Clarke knew deep down it was something she wasn’t quite ready to do, even if it was with someone as gracious and gentle as Lexa.

 

She slid down the back of the tub she was leaning against until her head was only just above the water. She took in a deep breath, held it, and slipped underneath the water until she was fully submerged in an attempt to clear her mind.  It worked and all the negative thoughts gnawing at her mind slowly slipped away until only one was left.

 

She wanted to be the right woman.

 

 

* * *

  
  
  


Lexa had seemed to feel every ounce of stress in the world coming at her in bucket fulls for the past two weeks. All she wanted to do was sit down for a bit and relax, preferably with Clarke, but a week later on the day, they would be departing on their journey. She was holding on to the fact that she would spend ample time with the blonde for several months without the troubles of banks and lawyers and businessmen. 

 

She had been working as hard as she had been in hopes that when Clarke went into town to get her supplies for the trip, Lexa could accompany her. If she didn’t get enough done, she wouldn’t have the time to leave her house for anything other than business. 

 

What got her through every day was knowing Clarke would be bringing her meals up to her each time. That morning Nyko had brought her breakfast but Lexa figured Clarke was just preparing for her siblings visit later that day and perhaps she would see her during lunch. 

 

But it was a few minutes before eleven and she still hadn’t even seen Clarke on her short break to walk to the market to count out her own budget for rations. She was beginning to grow anxious and was afraid her work ethic had set Clarke off. Or even worse, she decided she was disturbed by Lexa’s anatomy.

 

As the thought first appeared in Lexa’s mind she attempted to shake it off but it wouldn’t leave her mind. As her frustration grew, she found herself standing and pacing the room. She couldn’t take it anymore, she had to see Clarke and speak to her. She couldn’t help but hope that Clarke would help soothe her nerves.

 

She quickly exited the room and swiftly descended through the house until she reached Clarke’s room. She knocked once, twice. She waited but still got no answer so she gently pushed the door open.

 

“Clarke?” She called out, poking her head inside the door but Clarke was nowhere in sight. She reached around the door and pulled the rope to summon Nyko. He scaled the steps in only a couple minutes and was approaching her down the hall with a questioning look. He most likely could sense her desperation.

 

“Where is she?” She asked curtly, Nyko nodded, understanding the mood she was in  as she often got this way leading up to a long voyage. 

 

“She is in the washroom bathing, I believe it is unlocked if she allows you to enter.” He told her but she was already walking away before he finished. She reached the door to the room Clarke was bathing in and knocked loudly, she heard a small gasp and heavy sloshing of water for a moment before she heard Clarke answer.

 

“Come in.” She said quietly and Lexa gently pushed the door open. The sight before her made her heart nearly stop.

 

Clarke was inside of the bathtub fully nude, lounging back against the edge of the tub. When Clarke realized it was Lexa she slid further into the water insecurely. 

 

“Hello.” Lexa smiled shyly, now suddenly feeling like she needed to excuse herself.

 

“Hello, darling.” She greeted, taking a hesitant step further into the room and closing the door behind her. She didn’t go any closer to the tub for fear that she wouldn’t be able to hold herself back. She preferred to keep her integrity.

 

“Have you finished your work today?” Clarke asked calmly, closing her yes and tilting her head back. She was trying to keep the desperate hope out of her tone but Lexa could see through it. She took a few more steps forward, now half way across the large washroom from the huge tub. Clarke opened her eyes again and looked at her after she realized she was coming closer, causing Lexa to freeze and avert her gaze to her own feet.

 

“No, unfortunately I still have quite a bit, but i chanced a break to come see you,” She said, smiling sadly at the disappointment in Clarke’s expression. “I know I’ve hardly made time for, but my hope is that the more I do now, the less I’ll have to do in the days before we embark and almost nothing upon our return.”

 

Clarke suddenly sat all the way up and looked at her with stern eyes, Lexa’s own emerald growing exponentially as Clarke stared her down. 

 

“Have you been avoiding me?” She asked, tired of dancing around it. Lexa immediately shook her head, her cheeks warm.

 

“No! I’ve been genuinely working tirelessly,” She frowned, her bewilderment melting for a moment as she realized how hurt Clarke was by her absence. “I’ve missed you.”

 

Clarke’s austere expression faded slightly at Lexa’s admission, but she continued to scowl as she groaned in exasperation and tossed her head back. All Lexa wanted was to know exactly what she was thinking, so that she could attempt to soothe her ailing.

 

“Is this how it’s always going to be?” Clarke raised her hands to rest on either edge of the tub as she spoke, her voice cracking involuntarily though she tried to keep the hurt out of her expression.

 

Lexa melted into sympathy as she took a step forward to comfort Clarke before realizing she was still nude. Upon remembering, she froze and brought her hands back to herself, folding them tightly against her stomach. She turned aside and focused her eyes on anything that kept the intrusive thoughts of naked Clarke from overpowering her senses.

 

Clarke noticed her reaction and narrowed her eyes. She decided in that moment that if Lexa was afraid or simply didn’t want her, she would take her fear and hesitation and stomp it out. She would  _ make _ Lexa want her.

 

She slowly rose from the tub and watched closely as Lexa brought her hands up to cover her eyes. She lifted her leg over the edge of the tub and stepped out, standing on the small rug over the wooden floor.

 

“Lexa,” She cooed in a heavenly voice, knowing exactly what Lexa must be thinking. “Look at me, Lexa.” 

 

Lexa gently shook her head, her hands shaking. Clarke took the last few steps forward to close the empty space between them, now only inches in front of Lexa. She could see how nervous Lexa was so she spoke in the most soothing voice she could manage.

  
  
“Lexa, darling, look at me.” She murmured softly, reaching up and gently pulling her hands down away from her face. Lexa looked up at the ceiling and shook her head. “Please.”

  
  
“I can’t.” The brunette responded as Clarke watched a bead of sweat roll down her throat. Clarke found herself imagining tasting the salt of Lexa’s skin and this time she didn’t try to stave off the desires manifesting in her mind.

  
  
“What are you afraid of?” Lexa finally looked own, her gaze wavering as she struggled to keep her eyes on only on Clarke’s face. Clarke brought a hand up and cupped Lexa’s face lovingly. She felt her heart flutter lightly as Lexa tilted her head into the contact.

  
  
“I don’t want to hurt you.” Her voice was unsteady and she clenched her jaw so Clarke rubbed gentle circles with her thug against the sharp edge on her jaw where her facial muscles flexed.

  
  
“Good,” She replied and Lexa gave her a look of confusion, waiting for her to explain more. “All you have to do is be gentle.” They both knew they were speaking about more than just physical touch.

  
  
“I need you to tell me what lines I’m allowed to cross.” Lexa said, timidly raising one hand to push damp strands of hair out of her face.

  
  
“I want you to do anything you want to me.” Clarke replied without a second thought. Lexa felt the pit of her stomach tighten up at the same moment she felt a twitch between her legs. 

  
  
“I want to…” She began but hesitated. She wanted Clarke more than she could express but something about it felt wrong in that moment. “Not yet.”

  
  
Clarke frowned but nodded, she seemed dejected but somewhat satisfied for the time being. She decided it best to change the topic for the time being so she took a step back and retrieved the towel draped over the back of the chair next to the tub. She wrapped it around her torso and returned to the spot she had previously been standing.

  
  
“I was considering wearing a pair of those trousers to supper this evening.” She stated as she stepped into Lexa’s space once again. Lexa smiled brightly, most of her nerves gone after Clarke covered herself up.

 

“That would be wonderful,” She beamed and shamelessly placed her hand over Clarke’s now covered hips. “Would you like to join me in my study for the remainder of the day until we have to prepare for my siblings?” 

 

“I would love to.” Now it was Clarke’s turn to beam up at Lexa. Though they both new the moment wasn’t right, Clarke still craved her contact, so she leaned her forehead against the flat of Lexa’s upper chest, a large smile overtaking her face. She hadn’t realized just how badly she had missed the brunette.

 

They spent the next few hours up in Lexa’s study as the brunette mumbled random numbers, phrases and foreign words under her breath and Clarke looked at all her books and read a few pages of a hand full of them before moving on to inspecting the various artifacts.

 

When Lexa looked up to see Clarke sauntering towards her across the room, she smiled fondly as she peered over the lenses of her reading glasses. Clarke smiled  but there was a different look in her eyes as she sat in the edge of Lexa’s desk. Lexa continued to smile at her for a moment before looking back down at the records in her hands. 

 

A few seconds passed when she felt slender fingers glide down her cheek and under her chin, pulling her face up to look at Clarke. She smiled again but with more hesitation as Clarke remained silent, simply looking at her.

 

The blonde finally spoke after several minutes, leaning forward as her expression melting into a sad frown. She her own cheek against Lexa’s, letting her lips brush against her smooth skin as she whispered in her ear.

 

“What do I have to do to take away all of your fear?” A shiver ran down Lexa’s spine despite the fact that Clarke’s tone oozed with genuine curiosity. Clarke moved her face back a few inches so she could look at Lexa for her answer.

 

She was feeling as if this was her best chance, so, feeling very brazen, she slid off of the desk and into Lexa’s lap, her knees on either side of her hips. Lexa’s eyes widened momentarily as Clarke moved closer, snaking her arms around Lexa’s neck.

 

“Clarke.” Lexa intended it to be questioning but it sounded more like a warning as Clarke smiled and leaned forward to rest her chin on Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa released a subtle sigh and accepted the action, wrapping her arms around Clarke’s waist.

 

“I mean it when I say I’m sticking around for a very long time.” She whispered, tilting her head so her lips were brushing against the skin low on Lexa’s neck. She felt Lexa breath deeply at the touch.

 

“What’s this for?” Lexa asked after a moment. Clarke smiled even though Lexa couldn’t see her face.

 

“I was beginning to think you’d forgotten I was in here with you. I wanted your recognition again,” Clarke leaned back, holding onto Lexa’s shoulders with only her hands now. “I quite like having your undivided attention.”

 

Lexa remained silent and nodded, understanding completely but they were both suddenly snapped back to reality as the clock struck on the hour. It was suddenly five in the afternoon which meant it was time for them to go and get prepared for supper.

 

Clarke unhappily detached herself and stood up , Lexa following suit. Once they were both standing,Lexa offered a hand to Clarke and grinned.

 

“Shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it, clarke is starting to come out of her shell a little(a lot) more and thats just going to progress even more but the challenge now is to get Lexa to break out of her fear. be looking out for the next chapter hopefully by the end of the day tomorrow to see Anya and Lincoln visit and the chaos theyll bring with them. thanks for reading :) <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lincoln and Anya visit for dinner to talk business, they fight like, well, siblings, clarke and lexa get a steamy moment alone, then lexa gets made fun of more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got all of my weekend fun out of the way last night with my friends, so i was home all day today. I made chocolate muffins this morning then sat down to write. It took me most of the day so far to complete this so i hop mostly everyone likes it. there will be more sibling interaction in the future as well because Lincoln and Anya are going with them. I'll put all the trigedasleng translations in the notes at the end so if you want to know their exact wordcs you can read that at the end.  
> Words: 5396

Lexa stood before the floor to ceiling mirror and frowned. She would never admit it but she had always wanted her siblings to admire her. They had always seen her as the helpless baby sibling and even when Lexa was a boy, they were always incredibly protective over her. Once she had made a name for herself and started gaining wealth and power, she had always made sure her siblings were by her side for everything.

 

She had done most things her entire life to impress them and prove to them that she didn’t need their protecting, but deep down she knew she’d always be that little five year old clinging to the boat railings across the Atlantic.

 

She turned sideways and inspected herself in the mirror, she wanted to look more put together, like she hadn’t just spend the past fifteen days locked up in her study, working none stop, and staving off intrusive thoughts of a certain blonde. She truly was a mess, but they couldn’t know that.

 

She turned to face the mirror again and smoothed out the front of her shirt. She decided to tuck it in and reached her hands behind her back. She began carefully pushing the material of her shirt into her trousers until all that was left was the very front. Without any warning, she felt two hands slide across her sides and push her own away. She hadn’t even heard Clarke enter the room due to her stress, but she was now well aware of her presence.

 

Clarke slowly slid her hands down her stomach and she tensed at the feeling as Clarke’s hands slipped past her waist band and into her pants. Lexa knew what Clarke was doing, she also knew Clarke was doing it very intentionally. She didn’t have the heart to stop her, even secretly hoping she _never_ stopped. She tried to keep the scowl of disappointment off of her face when Clarke’s finger stopped just short of where Lexa truly wanted them.

 

The blonde spent a few seconds making sure Lexa’s shirt was tucked more neatly before withdrawing her hands and flattening them against her stomach again to press the material down.

 

“Clarke.” Lexa breathed as she turned in the shorter girls arms. Clarke leaned forward and rested her forehead against Lexa’s shoulder for a brief moment, she had been blushing all the while but didn’t want Lexa to see. Lexa, in turn, gently squeezed her hips, sending a hundred thoughts whirling in Clarke’s mind.

 

“Are you almost ready?” Clarke asked as she tilted her head back to look at Lexa, who immediately smiled lovingly.

 

“I am not,” Clarke smiled back. “Are you?”

 

Clarke nodded and took a step back to Lexa take in the full view of her in a shirt and trousers. She still wasn’t used to the feeling of the clothing but she would be lying if she said it wasn’t incredibly more comfortable than her usual attire.

 

“As ravishing as ever, darling.” Lexa said sweetly and Clarke blushed, pressing her hands to Lexa’s chest.

 

“Ever the charmer.” She cooed and Lexa grinned. They wordlessly set out for the first floor of the house, encountering the maid named Raven on their way down the stairs. Lexa greeted her and slipped a coin into her hand before continuing on.

 

They both went into the lounge, where Lexa usually took guests for tea, and sat on one of the couches. Clarke mentally noted how different this couch was than the one up in Lexa’s study.

 

Nyko brought them tea and they sat for a bit, sipping their beverages. They began talking and Lexa propped her feet up. Suddenly, all Clarke could think about was drawing Lexa again. She had secretly done many sketches over the past weeks in her notebook but any time Lexa did something, Clarke’s fingers itched to touch her and draw her.

  


* * *

  


It was less than an hour later when Lexa heard the door open down the hall and Nyko speaking to someone in muffled voices. She heard a few words every now and again and instantly recognized the voice as Lincoln’s. She quickly stood to her feet, straightened out her clothing, and strode across the room. Clarke, confused, got up and followed more slowly.

 

Lexa threw open the door and stopped in the doorway, her arms stretched above her head. Clarke peered around her to see the burly man from the photograph on Lexa’s bedroom wall. He was much more intimidating in person, but her wore a huge grin as he spread his arms wide.

 

“Commander!” He exclaimed causing Clarke to glance at Lexa questioningly. Before she could ask questions though, Lexa had launched forward down the corridor and leaped into his arms where her spun her around. Both of them laughed heartily as he set her down but didn’t let go. Clarke was afraid Lexa might snap with how hard he was patting her back but Lexa seemed to be doing the same to him.

 

“You’ve been a stranger, Mister Jones!” Lexa said as she laughed, now stepping back and gripping his shoulders as she looked at him. Clarke’s heart soared as she saw all the joy in Lexa’s eyes.

 

“As have you, Commander. Tell me, when did you plan to give this big ol’ brute a visit?” He asked with a hint of mischief in his tone. Lexa tilted her head back as she laughed, clapping her hand against his shoulder.

 

“I’ll admit I’ve been busy, but you know I can’t stay away for very long, brother.” Lincoln nodded and pulled Lexa in for another hug, though it was short lived.

 

When he released her, he immediately turned to Clarke and strode towards her, Lexa in toe. When he reached her he smiled openly at her and outstretched his hand as if to shake hers. However, when she went to shake it, he took her hand and brought it to his face, pressing a firm kiss to her knuckles.

 

“Hello, ma’am. My name is Lincoln, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” She covered her own mouth with her other hand as she blushed bright red. As he smiled at her charmingly she couldn’t help but realize that it must run in the family.

 

“Oh.” She breathed shyly, but it seemed to be all she could manage. Lexa didn’t give her much time to respond either as she grabbed her brother by his arm and forced him back.

 

“That is enough of that.” Lexa mumbled as she stepped between the two and faced her brother, who was smirking, knowing very well why Lexa was so defensive.

 

“What’s the trouble, Lex. I’m simply introducing myself to Clarke.” He said, the mischief in her tone returning. Lexa took a step backwards towards Clarke, who pressed her palms into the small of Lexa’s back.

 

Lexa simply squinting at him as Clarke wondered how he already knew her name. Clarke peered over Lexa’s shoulder and Lincoln immediately winked at her, causing Lexa to bristle even more. Before Lexa could really get out her claws, the front door blasted open. Clarke jumped as Lexa instinctively reached a hand behind herself to reach for Clarke to make sure she was alright.

 

Lexa watched as the foot that had slammed the door open forcefully disappeared. A moment later, the tall blonde woman from the photograph sauntered in, already smirking.

 

She turned and saw the party of three staring at her with all different expressions. Lincoln with amusement, Lexa with annoyance, and Clarke with fear. When Anya’s eyes landed on Clarke, she immediately winked.

 

“Oh my god.” Lexa groaned and rolled her eyes, already frustrated with her siblings antics.

 

Nyko, who had been watching the entire scene unfold wordlessly from the opposite end of the corridor finally spoke up and announced that dinner would be ready shortly and that they should go take their seats in the dining room. They did so, Lexa and Clarke in their usual spots and the two older siblings next to each other across from Clarke.

 

“I’m Anya, just so you know. In case my sister conveniently forgot to mention the most dashing sibling.” She said as she lounged in her chair. Lincoln and Lexa rolled their eyes simultaneously.

 

“Oh, please.” Lexa said as Lincoln spoke at the same moment.

 

“Bullshit.” Lincoln said.

 

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh at the interaction and all three of them turned their heads towards her as she ducked her head/

 

“What’s so funny?” Lincoln questioned.

 

“Well,” She said clearing her throat, “it seemed that all three of you believe you are the most attractive.”

 

The siblings all narrowed their eyes and Clarke fought back another laugh. All three of them would go to their graves denying it, but they were so similar it was deafening, even without words.

 

“And who do _you_ think it really is?” Anya asked, but they all knew what her answer would be. Her blue eyes darted to Lexa who now wore a smug grin.

 

“Well, that settles that! The judge has spoken!” She chuckled and clapped her hands together. Lincoln and Anya whipper their head towards her and balked.

 

“Utter bullshit!” Lincoln yelled, now in time with Anya.

 

“She hasn’t even said anything!” Anya shouted, pointing at Clarke.

 

“You’re both just insecure because I’m not only smarter, but also more attractive!” Lexa said as she laughed. Clarke laughed quietly with her as Anya groaned.

 

“Yeah, but who’s better in the bedroom?” Lincoln asked. Anya smirked and looked at Lexa who immediately stopped laughing. Anya and Lincoln then looked at Clarke who was now blushing brighter than ever before.

 

“I-I…. I wouldn’t know.” The two eldest broke out in raucous laughter as Lexa glared at them.

 

“Did little sister not bed you yet?” Anya asked through laughter and Clarke hid her face in her hands. She felt a hand settle on her thigh and felt slightly less embarrassed when she realized it was Lexa.

 

“I believe the best way to settle this argument is for each of us to-” Lincoln began but was cut off by Lexa.

 

“I’ll cut your jigger off if you even think about it,” Lexa growled and Lincoln immediately stopped laughing, his face paling. Anya paused for a moment to look at him and see his reaction before laughing loudly again. “Your tongue will go next.”

 

That got Anya to stop laughing as she stared at Lexa seeming slightly frustrated but not saying anything. Clarke didn’t know what a jigger was, but she figured it would not be good to have it cut off judging by Lincoln’s still pale face.

 

Just then, Gustus entered with his arms full of plates, he smiled warmly at the two guests as he placed the plates in front of each of them.

 

“It’s good to see you both again,” They both nodded to him politely and he noticed how pale both of their faces were and how smug Lexa seemed. “Your foolish antics never cease, do they.”

 

He laughed as he made to exit the room and Clarke wondered how he knew what they had been talking about. They began to eat in silence for a bit before Anya leaned back and set a hand firmly against the table.

 

“For business, Lexa,” She said firmly and Lexa swallowed the food she had been chewing, wiping her mouth with a napkin before giving Anya her full attention. “Give us the numbers.”

 

Clarke noticed Lincoln had set his fork down as well and did the same, thinking it was only polite. She watched as Lexa nodded and thought for a moment.

 

“In terms of travel, we have my ships of course but we’ll only be needing one. My men along with the one’s Pike will be sending will give us a team of fifteen. I had Pike make sure each of his men would have enough rations to last them a year, all of my men have more than enough. All of the weapons and gear are being shipped in and loaded daily.”

 

There are enough sleeping accommodations on the boat for ten people. Clarke will be staying with me in the captain's quarters. I see no problem with Raven sharing quarters with you, Anya. There are sibling coming and I’ll request of them to share quarters. Monroe and Harper have already expressed to me that they are willing to share. So living arrangements are handled, each of them has gone on enough voyages with me to know their job and what i expect of them, those who haven’t will quickly learn.”

 

Clarke listened intently as Lexa, smiling broadly when Lexa said they would be sharing quarters on the ship. She had been nervous to be on a boat for the first time and sleep alone. She dipped her head to hide her blush as she thought about falling asleep in Lexa’s arms each night for over a month. She couldn’t help but hope that they would also stay together when they arrived, sharing a tent together.

 

The siblings continued talking seriously for nearly an hour, the conversation quickly shifting to the topic of numbers, coordinates, and terms Clarke didn’t understand.

 

“ _Don em kik thru, em ste kwelen._ ” Clarke looked up as Anya spoke in a hushed voice suddenly. She recognized the language as what Lexa had told her was their native language and she wondered why Anya was suddenly speaking in it.

 

“ _Em don, em ste yuj._ ” Lexa responded coolly. Clarke couldn’t understand what they were saying but she could tell how offended Lexa was by whatever Anya had said.

 

“ _Badan op don wan op, disha ste nou em gon op_.” Lincoln added to which Lexa seemed to be fuming.

 

“ _Em gon op osir. Em ste ain, ona ai. Yu gon nou heda hir, ai laik heda. Hod op disha_.” Lexa responded evenly, but her tone sounded deadly. Lincoln and Anya both leaned back in their chairs and gave each other wary looks. Clarke looked between the three, utterly lost at the interaction.

 

“ _Chil daun, sis_ ,” Anya said after a moment. “We understand, _osir jos gaf in yu gon get in gon risk_.”

 

“ _Dei ste a risk ai laik willing gon homplei. Em ste klir glong op ai_ ” Lexa pushed herself back from the table and stood, fuming as she stormed out of the room. Clarke watched completely bewildered from her outburst. Lincoln and Anya shared a look again and began whispering between themselves in their language as Clarke just sat and stared at them.

 

“What did you say to her? What did she tell you? Why is she angry?” Clarke asked and the other two paused to look at her.

 

“We were simply trying to make sure she has your ultimate safety at heart rather than her own selfish desires.” Lincoln replied and Anya nodded in agreement.

 

“She sometimes thinks more with her groin rather than her brain.” The woman added with a slight smirk. Clarke felt her cheeks heat up but she stood before she could embarrass herself.

 

“I should go calm her down.” She said as she turned towards the stairwell. She paused in the doorway when she heard Anya speak up again.

 

“Don’t worry too much about her, Clarke. She’s a grown woman. She just had a tendency to lose her temper when she feels she isn’t being respected.” She told Clarke, trying her best to sound like she wasn’t degrading Lexa. Clarke thought for a moment before nodding slowly and turning back around.

 

She ended up finding Lexa upstairs in her bedroom pacing and rambling in her own language. Clarke felt it safe to assume she was cursing. She entered the room without knocking and Lexa whirled around when she heard the door shot. A small bit of her anger dissolved when she realized it was Clarke.

 

The blonde moved across the room and stood a few feet away from Lexa, giving her space. She smiled softly and waited to say anything just in case Lexa wanted to speak first. When she didn’t try to say anything Clarke spoke.

 

“What did they say to you?” Clarke asked softly and Lexa shook her head angrily. She spun on her heel, braids flying through the air as she threw her arms in the air.

 

“They do not trust me! They question my strength!” She nearly yelled and Clarke imagined stream billowing from her ears. Clarke quickly stepped around Lexa and grabbed her shoulder to keep her still as she stared deeply into her eyes.

 

She suddenly remembered something she had found in a journal from one of Lexa’s early voyages. In the side margins Lexa had written something in her native language on a page in which she wrote about giving her full trust to her captain in order to help them get through a storm.

 

“ _Ai ron op my sonraun gon yu, ai wich in yu, ai laik glong op yu_.” She said carefully, hoping she pronounced every word correctly. Lexa immediately froze and looked at Clarke, her eyes quickly filling with tears.

 

“Clarke,” she said almost inaudibly and Clarke suddenly felt like she had done the wrong thing. “Do you know what that means?”

 

Clarke slowly shook her head and looked away in embarrassment and Lexa rested her hand on her face to bring her eyes back to her.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m not sure what it means but I don’t want to take it back.” Clarke said and Lexa nodded carefully before speaking again.

 

“I give my life to you, I trust you, I am with you.” Lexa said softly and Clarke felt her vision blur slightly, realizing she had tears of her own.

 

“Lexa, did they tell you I shouldn’t go with you because it won’t be safe or that you won’t be able to protect me?” Clarke asked, moving closer to the brunette so that she could feel her warmth.

 

“Yes, they also questioned _your_ character and whether or not you could endure. But they don’t know you as I do,” Lexa explained and Clarke smiled softly. “They don’t know how very strong you really are.”

 

“Lexa.” She just wanted to say her name. She hoped Lexa could feel how gracious she was that she defended her, even to her own kin. She was so grateful that Lexa was already willing to protect her from everything.

“Yes, my dear?” She asked as she moved her other hand to rest on Clarke’s hip. Clarke leaned her head slightly into Lexa’s hands as the taller woman brushed her thumb over her cheek. Clarke placed her own hand over Lexa’s arms as she pressed herself against Lexa. And in that moment she knew she couldn’t and didn’t want to wait any longer.

 

“Lexa, kiss me,” She demanded and Lexa’s eyes widened, her lips parting to speak but Clarke cut her off. “I’m not asking.”

 

Lexa nodded and her eyes dipped down to Clarke’s lips. Both leaned forward until their foreheads were touching as Lexa let out a shaking breath. Clarke tilted her chin forward until her lips only just barely brushed across Lexa’s. The movement seemed to be the only incentive Lexa’s needed as she surged forward.

 

She pressed her lips to Clarke’s and the blonde felt as if all the air had been ripped out of her lungs. Lexa’s lips were softer as she had imagined and she found herself pressing forward even more to get a better taste. Lexa tilted her head in a way that caused Clarke’s lips to part slightly. Lexa didn’t hesitate brushing her tongue across Clarke’s lips and into her mouth.

 

Clarke had no idea how to kiss and she could tell that Lexa knew exactly what to do so she let Lexa guide her. The way Lexa’s tongue brushed across her own make her weak in the knees and she felt her legs begin the give out but Lexa must have felt it too. In one fluid motion, she moved her hands to the backs of Clarke’s legs and lifted her easily. Before Clarke even had time to react, Lexa was setting her down on the table that had been a few feet away.

 

Lexa broke their kiss to take a deep breath, when Clarke thought she was going to kiss her again, she moved her mouth to Clarke’s neck instead. Clarke let out a small ‘oh’ as Lexa gentle kiss the skin just under her jaw. She tilted her head back a bit in hopes that she would continue.

 

Her face was flushed and she was breathing heavily as Lexa’s left heavy kisses along the column of Clarke’s throat. Clarke let out another gasp when she felt Lexa roll her hips forward and felt something hard pressed against her center. Lexa moved her lips to the spot just under the corner of her jaw, where she could feel her thumping pulse. Clarke squeezed her eyes shut and moved her own hips forward against Lexa’s, drawing in a sharp breath as Lexa did so at the same time, sending jolts through her body.

 

When Lexa attached her lips to Clarke’s pulse point and sucked Clarke let out a loud, high pitched whimper before she could stop it. Her eyes flew open and her hand shot up to cover her own mouth, embarrassed at the strange noise she had made. Lexa backed up a bit to look at Clarke’s face and removed her hand upon seeing how embarrassed she was.

 

“No, darling, that’s okay. It’s good. It lets me know that I’m doing the right things.” Lexa said softly, placing a quick kiss against Clarke’s cheek.

 

“I’m so sorry, that’s so embarrassing. I don’t know how I made that noise.” She said shaking her head, pressing her forehead into Lexa’s shoulder to hide her face. Lexa chuckled and rubbed circles on her back.

 

“No Clarke, it’s natural. I make noises too when something feels good.” Lexa explained and Clarke lifted her head again to look at her. She looked completely disbelieving.

 

“Liar, I didn’t hear you at all.” she said somewhat playfully and Lexa laughed.

 

“Here,” Lexa said taking Clarke’s hand in her own. “Do you trust me?”

 

Clarke nodded without hesitation and Lexa gently kissed her, but it lasted only a moment before Lexa pulled away. She brought Clarke’s hand to her lower stomach and pressed her palm flat.

 

“Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” Lexa said and Clarke nodded once again, curious as to what Lexa was thinking.

 

Then Lexa slowly pushed her hand lower, dipping beneath her her trousers and, to Clarke’s even greater shock, beneath her undergarments. She blushed deeply as Lexa continued to slowly move her hand lower until her fingers brushed against the bulge beneath Lexa’s pants. They held eye contact all the while.

 

“Is this okay?” Lexa asked and Clarke nodded again, completely unable to speak this time. Lexa withdrew her own hand, leaving Clarke’s where it was, gently cupping Lexa. Her mouth opened slightly in awe as she felt that is was hardening in her hand.

 

“Lexa?” Clarke asked and Lexa nodded, unable to say anything. Clarke brought her free hand up to snake around to the back of Lexa’s neck, pulling her closer. Lexa moved forward and pressed both of her palms against the table on either side of Clarke’s thighs. She moved her head forward until their foreheads were pressed together.

 

“Move your hand around.” Lexa whispered and Clarke obliged, sliding her hand down a bit more until her finger reached the tip. She slid her hand until it was wrapped almost the whole way around, her thumb brushing over the head.

 

Lexa shut her eyes and bit her lip as she choked on a guttural groan, moving her head until her forehead was against Clarke’s shoulder. Clarke smiled to herself, glad in knowing she was getting such a reaction from Lexa.

 

Clarke continued to move her hand around, exploring all the ways Lexa would react to her different touches. The brunettes groans slowly began to get louder and less choked as  Clarke did so.

 

Suddenly Clarke got an idea and wrapped her hand around Lexa’s member before giving it a gentle tug. Lexa tensed and her hips snapped forward as a whimper fell from her lips. It was a bit quieter and lower pitched than Clarke’s had been but Clarke knew exactly what had happened.

 

Just when she was about to repeat the motion, there was a heavy knock on the door causing both women to freeze.

 

“Lexa? Are you okay in there?” It was Anya come to check on them. Perhaps she had heard the noise and thought Lexa were injured. Lexa groaned in frustration and lifter her head, Clarke stayed as she was but didn’t move.

 

“Yes, Anya. Everything is fine. I-” She cut herself off as she fully moaned. Clarke had gently squeezed and slide her hand the entire length of her member, pumping her hand a few times. Lexa moved her head to look her in the eyes. She had a warning look in her eyes but Clarke was smirking as she continued her ministrations.

 

“What was that Lex? Never mind, I’m coming in.” The door began to Crack open and Lexa panicked.

 

“No! It’s alright, I’m fine! Go away!” She yelled frantically before groaning loudly and jerking her hips against Clarke’s hand. Clarke was still smirking and Lexa was glaring at her as she tried to fight the noises falling from her lips.

 

“Clarke, stop.” Lexa said through a moan.

 

“Lexa are you sure you’re alright? What’s going on in there?” Anya called again and Lexa rolled her eyes.

 

“Make me.” Clarke whispered in Lexa’s ear in a sultry voice. Lexa groaned once more and gripped Clarke’s wrist tightly. She let her continue for a moment more before pulling her hand from her trousers and Clarke didn’t try to fight it, but she frowned.

 

“I’m sorry darling, but we can resume this later. I have guests right now.” Lexa said sweetly, gently kissing Clarke who immediately stopped pouting.

 

“I’m sorry.” The blond said sweetly, knowing Lexa wasn’t mad at her.

 

Lexa kissed her gently again before stepping back to fix herself. She reach reached into her pants to readjust herself to make her arousal a little less obvious and straightened her shirt, re-tucking it.

 

Clarke slid down off the table and didn’t bother making herself look presentable again before stalking out of the room like a woman who ruled the world. Lexa chuckled as she watched Anya jump back in shock as Clarke walked out, small love bites adorning her neck.

 

Anya pointed to Clarke’s back as she walked away then to Lexa, her mouth agape. Lexa laughed even more and walked out of the door as well, closing it behind her. Anya gave her a once over then looked at the ceiling, slapping a hand over her eyes.

 

“You’re still hard.” Anya grumbled and Lexa smirked.

 

“What do you expect? You’re the one who rudely interrupted.” she said smugly before heading down the stairs. She ignored how uncomfortable she was and how badly she wanted to remove her pants.

 

* * *

  


The four were sitting on the couches in the tea room as Lincoln and Anya tried to ignore Lexa’s obvious _distraction_ . Clarke, however, made no effort to even hide the fact that she was well aware of the brunette situation. She repeatedly would place her hand a little _too_ high on Lexa’s thigh. One time Lexa got up to retrieve a book from her room and Clarke had shamelessly followed, cornering Lexa as she pressed their hips together, momentarily stalling Lexa until she remembered that they had to go back downstairs. She was purposely saying certain things and looking at Lexa with a look in her eyes that made her thoughts very evident.

 

It was all fun and teasing until Anya decided to stop awkwardly ignoring it. She slipped a joke into a conversation about Lexa’s situation and Lexa’s face flushed. Lincoln laughed and Lexa knew exactly where things were about to go.

 

“At least we know someone is taking care of little Lex.” He said teasingly and Lexa glared at him. Anya laughed and leaned back in her chair with a smug grin.

 

“So, I guess now it’s safe to ask if _the Commander_ can take care of Clarke.” this earned a laugh from Lincoln and Lexa groaned in annoyance.

 

“I am more than capable of taking care of Clarke, in and out of the bedroom.” She defended and Clarke gasped quietly, hitting her knee lightly. Lexa looked at her to see that her face was bright red.

 

“It’s good to know that our little sister can still shake a tart.” Anya said again and Lexa rolled her eyes.

 

“It’s good for you, Lex. Taking a turn up her petticoats.” Lincoln added between laughter and Anya laughed even harder. Clarke buried her face in her hands and shook her head as Lexa simply glared at them.

 

“Yeah, at least we know she can still tip her nags in the gallop.” Anya said, both older siblings now laughing through tears.

 

“Glad to see she’s been feeding the pussycat well.” Lincoln barely got out as he gasped for breath as he laughed hysterically along with Anya. Lexa stood abruptly and they both looked at her as they hiccuped.

 

“ _Shof op_ ,” Lexa growled. “What i do with Clarke is none of your business, and yes I’m very good at it. But that is none of your concern either.”

 

“Oh, come on, Lexie. We’re just having a go at you.” Anya said, still chuckling.

 

“I don’t know what you believe gives you the right to poke fun at my sexual endeavors when you’re shagging my maid.” Lexa said, smirking as Anya coughed. Lincoln stopped laughing and looked between Lexa and Anya with wide eyes as the two glared at each other.

 

“You can’t prove anything.” Anya growled.

 

“You aren’t discrete.” Lexa hissed back.

 

It was silent for a moment before Anya launched herself out of her seat and over the tea table at Lexa. She wrapped her hands around the brunette’s throat as she tackled her over the back of the couch. Lexa yelped as she hit the ground and the two began to roll around on the floor, hands around each others throats as they struggled against one another.

 

Clarke began to go to them to get the to stop but Lincoln stopped her. He smiled at her kindly and told her to sit and she did so hesitantly.

 

“Let them fight it out. This is how we solve disputes in our family. They’ll be peachy in a moment.” He explained and Clarke stared at him in confusion.

 

She looked back over the couch to see Lexa on her stomach and Anya on her back, holding her wrist and pulling her arm behind her back as they yelled at each other incoherently in their language.

 

“They’re going to kill each other.” Lexa said in shock that he wasn’t going to stop this.

 

“Oh, nonsense. They will be just fine,” he said waving his hand dismissively. “Also, I’m sorry if I offended you with my comments. I was only intending to tease my sister. I meant nothing by them, truly.”

 

“Oh, no it’s alright. I’m just easily embarrassed.” Clarke said sheepishly.

 

She looked over the back of the couch again to see Lexa laying on her back, one arm around Anya’s throat as the other held her own wrist tightly, her legs wrapped around Anya’s waist. Anya;s hands were slapping roughly against Lexa’s head and Clarke thought about how badly it must hurt but Lexa seemed unaffected.

 

“ _Shof op ou wan op!_ ” Lexa screamed in anger.

 

“Are you sure this is safe?” Clarke asked Lincoln and he simply laughed. A few moments later the two woman clambered to their feet and straightened their clothes as they returned to their seats.

 

“Who won?” Lincoln asked indifferently.

 

“Me.” Lexa and Anya said in unison, their head both whipping from their brother to each other as they glared furiously at each other. Lincoln laughed and quickly calmed them down.

 

“I thought you were going to get hurt. She’s bigger than you.” Clarke said quietly so only Lexa could hear. The brunette turned her attention to Clarke and raised an eyebrow.

 

“You’ve never seen me fight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading, i hoped you liked it. hopefully a new chapter will be up tomorrow though i'm not 100% sure where i want to take it in the next chapter so i guess if anyone has any suggestions leave them in the comments and ill see what i can cook up.
> 
> translations:
> 
> Don em kik thru, em ste kwelen. - Will she survive, she is weak.
> 
> Em don, em ste yuj. - She will, she is strong.
> 
> Badan op don wan op, disha ste nou em gon op. - The servant will die, this is not her fight.
> 
> Em gon op osir. Em ste ain, ona ai. Yu gon nou heda hir, ai laik heda. Hod op disha. - She fights with us. She is mine, under me. You are not in charge here, I am in charge. Stop this.
> 
> Chil daun, sis. osir jos gaf in yu gon get in gon risk. - Stand down, sister. We just need you to know the risk.
> 
> Dei ste a risk ai laik willing gon homplei. Em ste klir glong op ai. - That is a risk I am willing to take. She is safe with me.
> 
> Ai ron op my sonraun gon yu, ai wich in yu, ai laik glong op yu. - I give my life to you, I trust you, I am with you.
> 
> Shof op. - shut up
> 
> Shof op ou wan op! - Shut up or die!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke gets some action in a carriage and Clexa go shopping but ti doesnt end well, im sorry in advance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry its been a few days since i last updated which isnt very good because i had been updating every day. Hers my excuses: Sunday I hadn't been home all day (was out 8am-11pm) therefor had no time to write and had nothing to post. Monday i stayed home from school with a horrible migraine (i get them frequently) and stayed off technology most of the day due to that, so again had nothing written to update. tuesday i went to school and had a ton of work to make up for being absent then i went to see the new fantastic beasts (oh my god it was so good i sobbed like a little baby). so there are my excuses. this chapter was half written on tuesday before i saw fantastic beasts then the second half was written today so i guess the last half is left over angst probably. Im so sorry in advance.  
> word count: 4314

Three days had passed since Lexa’s siblings had visited and those three days had gone just as the previous two weeks had gone, but Lexa made sure to see Clarke each morning and night before and after she began working. And she had made it more than obvious that Clarke could join her in her study, which she had. But much to Lexa’s detriment, Clarke had done just about anything to attempt to get her full attention. To Clarke’s disappointment and great frustration, nothing really did the trick.

 

But now it was time for Clarke to be thrilled; the pair were going to the nearby market square, surrounded by shops, and would be doing the final round of shopping for their voyage. Clarke was excited as she examined herself in the full length mirror, running her hands over the slacks Lexa had given her. That particular pair was a pale purple and her shirt was a simple white cotton shirt. She wondered to herself as she began to tuck the shirt in, wanting to know how exactly fabric was dyed.

 

As she finished tucking in the shirt, she examined herself again and adjusted to clothes until she was satisfied with how her body looked. She wanted to show off her body to Lexa while maintaining her modesty, but she had to admit these clothes weren’t as good for showing feminine figure as she would have wished, but otherwise she begrudgingly thought they were better than her previous attire.

 

“Clarke, are you decent?” She heard Lexa call through the door as she knocked. Clarke smirked at herself in the mirror before going to the door and opening it. Her smirked returned immediately as the first thing Lexa did was to rake her eyes up and down Clarke’s figure.

 

“Yes, dear.” She hummed and flutter her lashes at the tall brunette. The action wasn’t lost on Lexa as she cleared her throat and offered her hands for Clarke to take. Clarke took pause to observe the brunettes attire and smiled.

 

Lexa was dress in simple black slacks and a cotton white blouse along with a stately vest buttoned over top to match her trousers. Clarke could see the gold chain of the pocket watch dangling from the abdominal pocket on the vest and she wondered if it was genuine gold.

 

“We’re losing daylight, darling.” Lexa responded in an equally soft tone as Clarke’s previous statement. Her words drew Clarke gently back to reality and she realized she had been ogling, her lower lip pulled between her teeth.

 

She nodded and accepted Lexa’s outstretched hand, moving closer to the brunette as she tucked herself close to her side. They made there way down stairs and out to front door, descending the steps. The coachman was waiting in the street with the door to the carriage open for them to climb in. Lexa assisted Clarke up and followed soon after, the door shutting gently as the coachman took his spot on the bench on the front of the carriage.

 

There was a moment of silence before they were set into motion and were on there way. Clarke kept her eyes on Lexa all the while but Lexa’s eyes were on a list she had pulled from her pocket.

 

“We need to get a few necessities before I’ll take you to the other shops for the other items you want,” Lexa began, her eyebrows knit together in concentration as she started to put together a plan of action in her head. “We’ll need to first get more crate’s of non-perishables, such as rice and grain, then we’ll need to go to the-”

 

She was cut short as Clarke’s hand came up to cradle her chin. She turned to give Clarke a questioning look but her eyes widened in surprise as Clarke’s gently tugged her forward by her jaw and kissed her. She quickly melted however, her eyes fluttering shut as she returned the kiss.

 

She felt the small amount of stress that had been swelling in her chest begin to dissipate as Clarke’s lips moved languidly against her own. She reveled in the feel of Clarke’s plush lips gliding against her own and the sweet taste as Clarke leisurely dipped her tongue into her mouth.

 

Clarke took Lexa’s hands and guided one to tangle in her hair, the other to rest on her hip. The blonde sighed pleasantly as Lexa’s fingers tightened their grip on her hip instinctively. The sound spurred Lexa on as she tilted her head for a better angle, sliding her own tongue against Clarke’s. She switched the angle to the other side, gently tugging Clarke’s bottom lip as she did so, drawing a slow whimper from the blonde.

 

“Lex,” Clarke breathed, her insides tingling. Lexa nodded, letting her know she was listening as she nudged Clarke’s jaw to get her to tilt her head back, and she obliged, giving Lexa access to her neck. Lexa began trailing soft kisses down the column of her throat, feeling it vibrate slightly as she hummed in satisfaction before speaking again. “Touch me, Lex.”

 

Her voice was so quiet that Lexa almost didn’t even hear it, but she did, so she began moving her hands as well, one coming to splay out on the small of Clarke’s back to support her as she leaned forward, adjusting her position on the bench.

 

“Lex,” She repeated, a little louder than before. She gripped Lexa’s wrist and brought her hand to her lower stomach. “Please, Lexa.”

 

She was aware that she was practically begging but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. Lexa paused and pulled her head back to look at Clarke. She raised a questioning brow as Clarke whimpered, not wanting the kisses against her neck to stop.

 

“Clarke, I don’t believe now is a good time to-” She was cut of by Clarke putting her hand over her mouth. She looked down at the hand then back at Clarke, growing slightly amused.

 

“I don’t dare,” the blonde said, slight frustration seeping in to her soft tone. “I said please. I have been patient and I have been waiting so well, but I want you to touch me… now.”

 

When Lexa hesitated again, Clarke wrapped her fingers around Lexa’s wrist again and pushed her hand beneath her waist band. She used her other hand to wrap around and hold the back of her neck, pulling her face closer until their cheeks were pressed together.

 

“Please, show me how good I’ve been.” Clarke whispered into Lexa’s ear, feeling the subtle shiver that traveled down the brunette’s spine. Her breath hitched in anticipation when she felt Lexa’s nimble fingers brush lower, only a few inches shy of where she wanted them to be.

 

“Wait.” Lexa said suddenly, pulling back and detangling herself from a bewildered Clarke. The blonde immediately let out a loud whimper that grew into a groan of frustration as Lexa slid away from her across the bench. She let her head slam back against the wall as she let out a frustrated sob.

 

“Lexa, I swear to-” She began to growl but Lexa cut her off by reaching over and firmly gripping her hips. She gasped quietly in surprise as she felt herself being lifted and pulled onto Lexa’s lap, her knees firmly on the bench on either side of Lexa’s hips.

 

“It’ll be easier like this, my wrist won’t cramp.” She mumbled quietly as she made quick work of untucking Clarke’s shirt and lifting it. Clarke sighed in approval as Lexa also lifted her under garment to reveal her full breasts. Lexa couldn’t help but stare for a moment with an open mouth, Clarke enjoyed her reaction maybe a little too much. In that moment, Lexa was more grateful for the curtains over the windows more than ever before.

 

She moved one hand to cup Clarke’s breast, quickly attaching her lips to the hardened bud on the other. She swirled her tongue around experimentally, Clarke tangled her hand through her hair as her breathing became heavier. The blonde watched Lexa carefully, blushing bright red when Lexa glanced up at her, she never had a clue that what Lexa was doing to her could feel so nice.

 

“Lex,” She pleaded, moving her hands from Lexa’s hair to her face, gently pushing her back. “ _Please_.”

 

Lexa hesitantly obliged, moving her slender hands to Clarke’s hips. Clarke gasped and let out a quiet moan as Lexa pulled her down without warning, grinding their hips together. Clarke could feel Lexa’s erection press against her core and it sent jolts up her spine.

 

“ _Oh…. my god_.” She breathed, moving her own hips now, rolling them against Lexa’s. The brunette grinned and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Clarke’s chest.

 

“Do you feel that darling,” She asked, her voice low and raspy. Clarke nodded quickly, her face flushed as she whimpered once again. She suddenly braced her hands on Lexa’s shoulders with a death grip, her hips rocking faster with each ministration. “That’s for you, you did that, baby.”

 

“Lex, do it,” She whimpered, her hips frantically thrusting as she tried to feel the friction she so desperately needed. “It’s not enough, I need more.” She all but whined and Lexa frowned.

 

“Darling, I’m not sure it’s such a good idea to do this right now.” Lexa said softly even though her actions betrayed her words as she tugged at Clarke's slacks. Clarke shimmied her hips minutely to help Lexa lower her pants.

 

Clarke whimpered as Lexa slid her hand beneath her underpants and her fingers barely brushed against her slick center. Lexa brought her other hand to grip Clarke’s side, guiding her hips in lethargic circles as she gently eased one finger slowly inside of Clarke. The blond leaned forward and pressed her forehead to Lexa’s as she bucked her hips, searching for more friction.

 

“Slow down, sweetheart.” Lexa murmured as she soothingly rubbed her thumb over Clarke’s hip bone. Once Lexa was knuckle deep, she slightly curled her finger as she slid it back out.

 

“More,” Clarke begged, rolling her hips erratically in frustration. Lexa used one hand to still her hips. “ _Hmph_ , more.”

 

Lexa frowned again and pulled her finger all the way out of Clarke, resulting in an exasperated moan. Clarke's eyes flew open and anger overcame her features

 

“ _Why_ did you-” Before Clarke had time to finish her accusation, Lexa was switching their positions until Clarke was seated on the bench and Lexa was kneeling on the floor of the carriage between her legs, yanking her pants down all in one fluid motion. There wasn’t much room but the brunette was making due as she brought her tongue to press against Clarke’s slick folds. “... _OH._ ”

 

Her reaction faded into a long, throaty whimper as Lexa lazily swirled her tongue. Clarke’s fingers tangled through brunette waves as Lexa thought to herself that Clarke was so sensitive that she didn’t have to do much to get a satisfying reaction from her.

 

She moved her tongue to circle the area around Clarke’s clit, gauging just how sensitive the blonde really was. When Clarke mewled and bucked her hips Lexa couldn’t help but grin to herself. She could already tell that keeping Clarke still enough might give her quite the workout as she wrapped her arms around each of the blondes thighs and held tightly to even keep her on the bench.

 

She lightly brushed her tongue across Clarke’s clit now, tightening her grip on her thighs as Clarke fisted her hair in both hands and thrust her hips into Lexa’s face at the same time, pulling Lexa’s head as close to her as possible. Lexa grinned again and drew lazy circles with her tongue, allowing herself to watch closely as Clarke tossed her head back, moaning loud enough that Lexa was sure the coachman could hear.

 

After a few more moments, Lexa dipped her tongue lower, pushing ever so slightly past damp folds, lapping up Clarke’s wetness. Clarke jerked suddenly and dropped her head forward, mumbling something Lexa couldn’t quite hear. So, she did it again.

 

“Ugh, Lex. _Fuck_ ,” Clarke moaned, spurring Lexa forward. But it only lasted a few more moments before Clarke was pulling on Lexa’s hair in a different direction. Lexa was confused so she let herself be dragged up so her face was in front of Clarke’s own panting, flushed face. Clarke’s legs slid from Lexa’s shoulders as she rose and Lexa frowned, missing how much she loved the feeling of her thighs around her head.

 

Lexa gave Clarke a moment to catch her breath, which was coming in short puffs, a quiet whimper tumbling past her lips every once in a while. Lexa took it upon herself to rub soothing circles against Clarke’s outer thigh, encouraging her to take her time. She ignored the ache between her own legs. It had taken a lot for Clarke to convince Lexa to do anything but now that she had started, Lexa didn’t want to stop.

 

“Lexa,” Clarke panted, her eyes fluttering open. Lexa waited patiently for her to continue, carrying on with her soft movements on Clarke’s thighs. “Not that you aren’t amazing at that, but I need to know, when are you going to step up and properly fuck me?”

 

Lexa suddenly choked on air, wheezing as she let her head fall against Clarke’s shoulder. That had been the last thing the brunette had expected but she wasn’t even sure she could answer.

 

“What?” Clarke asked, accusatory as Lexa lifted her head again, looking at her with bewilderment, “it’s a genuine question.”

 

“I don’t know if I can give you a certain answer.” Lexa responded simply, sliding Clarke’s undergarment back up her thighs, her trousers quickly following. She climbed back onto the bench and assisted Clarke to tuck her shirt back in before adjusting her own clothing that had been somewhat ruffled. All the while, she tried her best to ignore Clarke’s obvious pout.

 

* * *

  


They had already gotten all of the rations they needed to finish buying by the time Clarke began to get antsy, clinging to Lexa’s sleeve and quietly whining that she was bored. She had been listening to Lexa negotiate and bargain prices and pounds and boxes for nearly two hours and she had to admit that hearing Lexa so demanding and regal did _things_ to her.

 

“Are you nearly done?” Clarke asked in a quiet whine, tugging Lexa’s elbow once again as she tried to drag her towards something more exciting.

 

“Yes, we have to go to a tailor now.” Lexa stated, resisting Clarke’s tugging to an extent as she followed much slower than Clarke wanted her too. She knew she was frustrating the restless blonde and she was enjoying it. She was saving her energy and she quite liked how much she was ruffling Clarke with her slow pace.

 

She strolled along steadily, hands clasped behind her back as she took precise steps and carefully observed her surroundings. Allowing herself to be hypersensitive of environment around them, keeping her attention on Clarke and all the other people in the crowd around them, Lexa made sure to be aware of everyone within the vicinity lest anyone attempt to assault Clarke.

 

After several minutes they reached the tailors shop and strolled in, Clarke immediately wandered around and ran her fingers over the various materials lining the walls. Lexa went straight for the counter and greeted the young woman behind it. Her name was Gaia and she had been the ward of the older woman who owned the shop since she was an infant. Lexa always had a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that the girl looked like someone else she knew but she couldn’t place it.

 

“Hello, Lexa. What can I do for you today?” Gaia asked with a bright smile which Lexa returned, though less enthusiastically as she thought for a moment.

 

“Clarke and I,” Lexa said as she gestured to the still wandering blonde, “are here to get measured for a few more pieces. Specialty ones.”

 

Gaia nodded, the smile still prominent on her features as she circled the counter and escorted Lexa over to the series of mirrors in one corner, a small circular platform between them. Lexa summoned Clarke who came over and watched as Lexa stepped up onto the platform. The brunette removed her vest and handed it the tailor's apprentice, without so much as a word, and she hung it on a nearby coat rack.

 

“This list has all of the items we will need by the end of the week,” Lexa said as she procured a list from her pocket and handed it to Gaia without even looking at her, “I will pay handsome for them to be done by then, If they are not finished by then, I will not even purchase them, is that clear?” Gaia nodded.

 

Had it been anyone else that spoke that way towards her, Gaia would have taken offense, but she was usually the one to take Lexa’s measurements for different items so she was used to the way Lexa spoke and understood she meant nothing cruel by her words. She took the list and quickly read it over before tucking it into her own pocket.

 

“The measurements must be tight as well, these pieces are meant to be form fitting. You can expect the metal pieces from the smith by Wednesday. I’ll come back on Saturday morning to retrieve the finished products.” Gaia nodded again and pulled out a long strip of cloth with different sized slashes down its entire length.

 

Gaia walked up to the platform and Lexa extended her arms straight out to each side. Gaia proceed to measure the circumference in two different spots on each of her arms before measuring the length. She recorded the numbers on a small square of paper before reaching up to measure Lexa’s neck. She had done this dozens of times, but Lexa’s body always seemed to be changing and she liked to have numbers exact every time something new was made, so she usually demanded to be measured.

 

Gaia then moved forward to wrap the tape measure around Lexa’s chest then slid it down to her waist. Clarke stood straighter at this, narrowing her eyes suddenly at the stranger. Both Lexa and Gaia remained oblivious to Clarke’s glare as Gaia was too concentrated on doing her job, and Lexa was busy watching in the mirror closely to make sure she did her job correctly.

 

Gaia then wrapped the measurer around Lexa’s ankles respectively, then her knees, then she moved it up the her thighs, sliding on hand between the brunette’s thighs to pull the cloth through. Clarke then took a step forward, it was a small step but the sound was heavy and hollow against the wooden floor.

 

Both of the other girls startled and whipped their heads to look at the blonde in unison. Gaia wore a look of utter confusion, the expression of someone who had suddenly been ripped from a deep concentration. Lexa just looked confused and slightly concerned as she raised a questioning brow at Clarke who simply glared at the stranger.

 

Once Lexa realized the cause for Clarke’s behavior she audibly chuckled and motioned for Gaia to continue. Gaia did so, shrugging to herself as she went to wrap the measurer around Lexa’s other thigh. Clarke took another step forward, less aggressively but still adorning a deep scowl.

 

Then Gaia went to take the final measurement, wrapping the measurer low around Lexa’s hips, one hand holding the measurer in place harmlessly over Lexa’s groin as she recorded the measurement with the other. Clarke then crossed the rest of the floor towards the pair that was completely unaffected but whatever Clarke thought was going on. She reached out and swatted Gaia’s hands away.

 

Gaia withdrew her hands quickly and looked at Clarke with a scowl of her own now, but more in confusion and alarm rather than jealousy or anger. Clarke ignored her look and looked up at Lexa, crossing her arms.

 

“What has you so perturbed?” Lexa asked, trying to keep the vexation she was feeling from showing in her tone. She wasn’t very fond of how needy Clarke was acting, most of the time she wouldn’t mind, she would even enjoy it, but it just wasn’t the time or place for it.

 

Clarke just scowled even more as Lexa stepped down from the podium and pulled her vest back on but didn’t button it. She raised her eyebrows at the blonde again and pursed her lips, attempting to fend off her displeasure.

 

“It’s your turn.” Lexa said finally and guided Clarke up onto the platform. Gaia quickly measured Clarke, unnerved by the blonde’s attitude. Once she was done Lexa thanked her, bid her a good day, then practically dragged Clarke from the store. They made it back into the street and Lexa pulled Clarke by her hand into the butcher shop.

 

“Good afternoon, Lexa.” the woman behind the counter greeted as the pair entered the shop.

 

“Hello, Niylah,” Lexa greeted as she handed a list of the things she needed to the woman, who then went into the back room. She then turned to Clarke with crossed arms. “What was all of that about?”

 

“I didn’t like how she was touching you. You saw it, Lex. Why didn’t you stop her?” Clarke asked with anger as she pressed a palm to Lexa’s chest.

 

“Because, Clarke, she was _doing her job_.” Lexa responded shortly, attempting to keep her voice low.

 

“Does she get paid to fondle you?” Lexa tossed her head back and laughed bitterly, only making Clarke’s scowl deepen.

 

“It’s a tailors shop, not a brothel, Clarke. She was taking my measurements for the clothing I need for our journey. She’s been doing such for me for years. If it were anything more than that, I would have found a different tailor a long time ago and I definitely would not have brought you there just to watch another woman grope me. What do you take me as?” She said dolefully. Clarke opened her mouth to speak and suddenly Lexa knew before she would speak that she would resent her words immediately.

 

“I’m sorry, _Miss Jones_ . I had _conveniently_ forgotten how well you’ve familiarized yourself with brothels,” Clarke said, her volume raising slightly. “It really _mollifies_ me to know that you would go see your mistresses without my knowledge and let them fondle you _privately_ instead of bringing me along. Or am I _just a mistress_ as well?” Through Clarke’s anger, she had failed to realize the weight of her words until a hurt expression flickered across Lexa’s face.

 

It only lasted a moment though, before Lexa steeled herself. Her eyes darkened and her jaw set as her other features remained neutral.

 

“Well,” She said before pausing, testing her own voice. “I am pleased to know how it is that you truly feel. Thank you for making your feelings known.” Lexa said curtly before turning and facing the counter. She clasped her hands behind her back and squared her shoulders, focusing her eyes on nothing.

 

Clarke moved to get Lexa to look at her again and say something to apologize, but just then, the butcher returned with several things wrapped in brown paper. She swallowed her words and looked at her shoes in shame as Lexa discussed price briefly with the woman she had called Niylah.

 

Once they exited, Lexa walked several strides in front of Clarke, her pace quick and they soon were back at the carriage. Lexa handed the meats to the coachman to load on the roof.

 

“Where are we going next?” Clarke asked, her voice small. Lexa didn’t even look at her as she opened the carriage door and climbed in.

 

“Back to my home, I’ll finish the rest tomorrow.” Lexa said shortly, sitting at the same time Clarke did, on the opposite bench, in the far corner from Clarke.

 

“Will I be coming along again?” She asked, her voice trembling softly as she already knew the answer.

 

“No,” Lexa responded, still not looking at her as he opened a curtain to stare out the window. “It would be _inappropriate_ for you to see any of my _mistresses fondle me_ again.” Now she looked at Clarke dead in the eyes, her gaze icy.

 

“Lexa-” She tried, reaching to touch Lexa’s leg but the brunette quickly moved farther away.

 

“Don’t.” She said sharply, her tone practically dripping in bitterness and disdain.

 

Once they returned to Lexa’s house, the brunette exited the carriage and gave the instructions on what to do with the items they had purchased that day to the coachman. Clarke emerged as well and waited a few feet away from Lexa.

 

She wanted to talk to her and apologize and tell her she didn’t mean it, but when to coach drove away, Lexa turned and looked at her briefly, tilting her chin up haughtily before whirling around marching into the house as regal as ever. Her hands remained clasped behind her back and the vest fluttered out at her sides as it was still unbuttoned.

 

Clarke quickly followed but Lexa was faster, not even running or jogging and she was already at the top of the steps. Clarke heard a door slam and made her way up the stairs slowly now. She tried Lexa’s bedroom door but it wouldn’t budge. When she knocked, the only response she got was a loud crash and a low grunt followed by a furious yell in another language Clarke didn't recognize.

 

That night, Clarke lay in bed unable to fall asleep as the hot tears streamed down her face. She pressed her face into the pillows and cried, unable to keep her thoughts at bay. She couldn’t help but think that she had managed to ruin everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont kill me please. thank you for reading. Im on break right now so im hoping to have another chapter posted by the end of the day tomorrow too. :) <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a small development in their argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is one of the shortest chapters, if not the shortest. theres a bit of development between the two, but i decided to leave full reconciliation till the next chapter, as well as embarking on their journey, so the next chapter will most likely be pretty long. enjoy:)

Lexa hadn’t slept the night before and Clarke could tell when she saw Lexa striding down from the third floor with a scowl and dark circles under her eyes. She had only just stepped out of her room to go bathe when Lexa stalked past, adorning only a pair of tight underpants and her chest wrappings. Clarke had meant to ask Lexa why she chose to wrap her chest it always slipped her mind.

 

The blonde stood there and watched with bewilderment but Lexa didn’t even glance in her direction before she disappeared down the stairs. Clarke felt her heart wilt a little bit more as she made her way into the bathroom.

  
  
  
  


The next night Clarke found herself sleeplessly wandering around the house. She had knocked on Lexa’s bedroom door, but when she peered inside, Lexa was nowhere in sight. She she had gone up to her study to see if she was there but the brunette was still nowhere to be found. 

 

She had wandered around the rest of the house finding Lexa nowhere. Eventually, she ran into Nyko who had told her that Lexa had left the house earlier that night and hadn’t yet returned. Lexa didn’t end up coming back until that afternoon and Clarke hadn’t even realized she was back until she saw her leaving again that evening.

  
  
  
  


It was Wednesday when Lexa didn’t come home all day until late at night only to drop of a few final items she had bought, before leaving again only minutes later. All Clarke could do all the while was watch as Lexa practically floated through the house like a ghost. Like a dark storm cloud that sneaks up all too fast.

  
  
  
  


By the time Friday morning rolled around, Clarke realized that night would be their last before they would embark. She had to find a way to talk to Lexa before they left, there was no way she would leave without apologizing.

 

But that night when Lexa returned, she was stumbling. She was heavily intoxicated and her face was slightly bruised and bloodied. Upon entering, she attempted to lean against a small table but slipped and fell to the floor without even attempting to try and break her own fall. She hit the ground with a loud thud and groan.

 

Clarke rushed down the stairs at the noise and ran to Lexa’s side, examining her to find the source of the blood. It was dry so it wasn’t very resent. Clarke assumed Lexa must have walked home from a farther part of the city. She couldn’t find a source of the blood on her head or neck or even her arms. 

 

She began to remove Lexa’s bloody shirt with weak protests from the brunette that she was fine, that she just needed to go to bed. But Clarke wouldn’t listen as she lifted her shirt to find more blood. She managed to find a cut stretching from high up on her side slanting to her lower back. It wasn’t deep though so Clarke didn’t understand where all the blood had come from.

 

“Lexa, where are you bleeding from?” Clarke asked, entirely confused. Lexa just stared up at her with glassy eyes and frowned.

 

“I’m not?” She said but didn’t sound too sure as she lifted her head groggily and started running her hands over her own body.

 

“Then  _ where _ is all this blood from?” She asked, her voice strained with worry. All she felt was guilt as she thought about all the ways this was her fault.

 

“Oh…” Lexa mumbled as if she had found the answer and it was obvious. She dropped her head back and closed her eyes but Clarke patted her face to get her attention again. “What, Clarke? It isn’t  _ mine _ .”

 

“What? What happened to you? Where have you been? Who’s blood is this?” Clarke asked, now concerned that Lexa had done something very illegal.

 

“Shush, my head is _ pounding _ ,” Lexa said, raising clumsy hand to brush her finger tips over Clarke’s lips. “Why do you _ care  _ where I’ve been or who I’ve  _ been  _ with.” Her tone was dripping with all of the venom a severely inebriated, exhausted person could managed. Which didn’t happen to be very much, apparently.

 

“ _ Lexa _ ,” Clarke said warningly as the brunette closed her eyes again. “I do care. Now tell me what happened.”

 

“Oh, fine,” Lexa sighed. “I was walking home and small gang tried to jump me. I managed to hold my own but one pulled a knife. They should have learned how to fight before trying to steal from me.” Lexa said, then chuckled goofily.

 

“Lexa what did you do to them?” Clarke asked, suddenly worried about how Lexa escaped almost entirely unscathed but covered in tons of other people’s blood.

 

“They should wake up by sunrise, or taken to a doctor. Who cares.” Lexa said as she began to babble incoherently, slurring her words. 

 

Clarke observed for a moment before shaking her head and wrapping her arms around Lexa to pull her to her feet.

 

“Come on, I’ll help you get cleaned up.” Clarke said as Lexa wobbled and leaned the majority of her weight against Clarke. The blonde gasped and yelped as she struggled to hold up all of Lexa’s dead weight, the brunette simply giggling the whole time. Clarke yelled for Nyko and the man appeared mere seconds later.

 

“Help me get her up to the bathroom please.” Clarke said and he came over. He leaned down and hook one arm through her legs gripped her arm with the other hand. He turned and started up the stairs, carrying her the way a shepherd would carry an injured lamb.

 

Clarke followed close behind and they soon reached the bathroom. Nyko then eased Lexa to sit on the floor against the wall as he began to fill the bathtub with warm water.

 

“Has she done this before?” Clarke asked as she cupped Lexa’s face and wiped dirty hair from the brunette face.

 

“Yes,” Nyko responded as he turned around and looked at his employer. “Over the years, she has periods where she will be gone nearly all hours, coming home at ungodly times, drunk out of her mind, covered in blood. Usually there’s something that triggers her episodes.”

 

“It’s my fault.” Clarke said sadly, guilt flooding her chest as she caressed Lexa’s bloody cheek. 

 

“How could you cause this? She adores you, dear.” Nyko asked and Clarke realized that he was unaware of the events of the beginning of the week.

 

“I was foolish. I overreacted to something that I shouldn’t have. I said hurtful things and before I could take it back, it was already too late. She just…” Clarke trailed off and Nyko came over to crouch next to her.

 

“Shut down,” He finished for her. “If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly transpired, what did you say to her?” Clarke dipped her head as she felt tears well up.

 

“I didn’t like the way this girl was touching her. She was just doing her job but I thought…. I don’t know what I thought. I just wanted her to get away from Lexa. We left and I made a scene about it. I said it was her fault she didn’t stop her. She told me that it was merely a tailor shop not a brothel and that she wouldn’t take me somewhere just to watch another woman touch her inappropriately.” Nyko sucked in a breath, getting a good idea of where it was headed.

 

“And what did you say that might have caused her to shut down?”

 

“I make comment about how I had forgotten she was familiar with brothels. And said that I didn’t want to be just another mistress,” Nyko nodded slowly. He paused to take in all of it and shook his head. “I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I.”

 

“No, Clarke. She’s just hurt,” He said, clasping a hand on her shoulder. “She’s ashamed of her past Clarke. The things she did, not just her sexual escapades, she wishes she could take back all of it. She’s done things that she refuses to even speak of.”

 

“What actions would be so horrible that she wouldn’t even say them out loud?”

 

“You have to understand, Clarke. Overseas, in uncharted territory, there are things much more dangerous. To survive… you have to sometimes forget parts of your humanity,” He said, shaking his head as his eyes clouded over. “Lexa will get over this, she is simply hurt. Based on what she told me, she probably believes that you see her as nothing other than a scoundrel. What you think of her has great effect on her, she cares about you dearly Clarke.”

 

“What do I do then?” She asked, out of ideas. Every time she’d tried to apologize, Lexa had evaded her.

 

“Wait till she’s sober, then force her to talk to you. She responds more to strong authority than anything else if you’re demanding enough,” Nyko provided before rising to his feet. “ I’ll leave you to it then, you know where to find me if you need anything.”

 

With that, he exited and closed the door, leaving Clarke with a sloshed brunette. Clarke make quick words of undressing Lexa as her head lulled side to side and she hummed some tune to herself. 

 

“Come on, Lex.” Clarke said she Lexa put up a fight in her removing her undergarments, it had been easy undoing her chest wrappings but the compression garment on her lower body was hardly moving as Lexa writhed about.

 

“But you’re not ready.” Lexa mumbled, rolling on to her stomach. Clarke rolled her eyes and suddenly yanked the cloth down, earning a howl of protest. 

 

“Lexa, I’m not trying to do anything to you decides bathe you.” Clarke said in exasperation as she attempted to pull the clothing from Lexa’s weakly kicking legs.

 

“Well why not?” Lexa asked, outright offended. Clarke groaned and dragged the brunette to her feet. Lexa tossed her head side to side then grabbed at Clarke’s shirt as she stumbled to the side. “How come you get to keep your clothes on?”

 

“Because I didn’t come home drunk and bloody. No get in the bath.” Clarke said sternly and helped Lexa clamber into the tub, the water sloshing dramatically as Lexa plopped down.

 

“Why don’t you come in her with me?” Lexa tried to sound seductive through her drunken haze, but the way she slurred her words made Clarke chuckle.

 

“Because you’re drunk beyond belief and you finally get to have me, I want you to remember every detail.” Clarke responded as she retrieved a cloth and dipped it into the water. 

 

“What if you told you I have an excellent memory while inebriated.” And Clarke might have believed her, if she hadn’t pronounced inebriated ‘inerbiatated’. Clarke simply laughed as she began gently stroking Lexa's cheeks with the wet cloth

 

“Not happening, Jones.” Clarke said, smiling to herself as Lexa seemed to not hear her and instead began pressing her face against Clarke’s hands and outright purring. 

 

Clarke continued to wipe at Lexa’s skin until her face, neck and shoulders were clear of blood. She then began wiping her chest and Lexa gripped her wrist.

 

“Are you trying to feel me up?” Lexa demanded, not picking her head up from where it rested against the back of the tub.

 

“Not this time.” Clarke responded and Lexa frowned.

 

“Clarke won’t be fond of you touching me like that. Clarke is my woman, go get Clarke. I need Clarke, it’s an emergency.” Lexa slurred, lifting her head up. Clarke’s heart skipped a beat as she abandoned the cloth and cradled Lexa’s face.

 

“I’m here sweetheart, it’s me. What’s wrong?” Clarke asked softly and Lexa held her hands against her face.

 

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a foul person to you.” Lexa said, beginning to cry into Clarke’s hands.

 

“No, darling. I’m the one who should be sorry, I said awful things. But we should talk about this when you’re sober.” Lexa nodded and sighed, dropping her head back again.

 

“Are you going to go get Clarke now? I would rather her wash my intimate areas than whoever you are.” Lexa asked and Clarke simply chuckled before returning to the task at hand.

 

Once Lexa was mostly clean, Clarke helped her put fresh sleep clothes on. She led the brunette to her bed and assisted her to climb into bed. She blew out the candles and returned to Lexa’s side and kissed the woman’s forehead. 

 

When she turned to leave she felt a hand weakly grasp at her wrist and heard a small whimper of protest. She turned to see Lexa looking up at her sadly.

 

“I know you’re still mad at me,” She said pathetically, pouting and tugging Clarke gently. “But, please stay with me.”

 

“Lex, I have to go put sleep clothes on. I’ll come back when I’m changed.” She tried to reason, attempting to slip out of Lexa’s grasp.

 

“Nonsense, sleep in your under clothes. I don’t mind.” Lexa pleaded, not wanting Clarke to leave from right next to her.

 

“Oh, I  _ know  _ you don’t mind,” Clarke said lightly, a smile ghosting her lips. She stood and looked at the exhausted brunette, considering whether or not it was a good decision. “Alright, fine.” 

 

She finally caved and began removing her clothes until she was only in her under garments. Lexa tosses a hand over her eyes, drunkenly trying to be courteous, but her intoxication made her cunning lessen severely as Clarke could see Lexa very obviously peeking between her fingers. 

 

She laughed softly to herself before climbing up next to Lexa, who immediately wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her against her front. Clarke let out a quiet gasp as she finished pulling her blankets up over them both. She wriggled in Lexa’s arms until she was on her back.

 

Lexa hummed quietly and positioned herself so that her head was resting against Clarke’s chest. Clarke sighed and wrapped her arm around Lexa’s waist. They fell asleep like that, tangled together and breathing in harmony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed, i know this chapter took a bit longer even though its short but im currently on fall break so ive been spending a lot of time with my family and havent had much time to write between family time and meeting with my music instructor. i hope i didnt disappoint. 
> 
> as always give me some feedback, ask any questions you might have, let me know what you think, give me some tips, give me some requests, go ham in the comments. :) <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke have a little talk and begin to work on things. The day has come to set sail but something goes very wrong when an old face resurfaces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so damn sorry this took so long. More explanation in the notes at the end. I love you guys, thank you for supporting this story and continuing to comment and read and whatnot despite my absence. And to anyone that was concerned about me or was asking if I'm okay: yes, I am now. If you'd like to know more, like i said, its in the end notes. If not, enjoy this long update of 4565 words and feel free to ignore the notes. Again, i am so sorry it took this long.
> 
> sorry for any errors. I don't usually do a lot of revising so I can release chapters ASAP.

The very next morning, Lexa awoke with a fierce headache and an empty bed. She rolled over and groaned at the invasive sunlight. She tossed her arm to the side to find the entire bed empty and cold. She cracked a groggy eye and saw Clarke wasn’t even in the room.

 

She groaned again and sat up slowly, her head feeling like a boulder balanced on her shoulders. She gave herself a moment to adjust a bit better before clambering out of the large bed. She practically hurled herself through the house, her entire body feeling heavy as lead.

 

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she paused, keeling over and holding a hand over her mouth to keep from vomiting. She swallowed hard and then righted herself, leaning her weight against the railing.

 

The door to the kitchen down the hall swung open gently and Clarke slipped out, gently closing the door behind her. When she turned around, she saw Lexa looking miserable and green-faced.

 

“Lexa, why are you out of bed?” She asked in surprise, not expecting to see the brunette awake so early. 

 

“I wanted to-” She was cut off by her own gag reflex, hiccuping and holding a clenched fist against her mouth. Clarke rushed to her and wrapped an arm around to pat her back.

 

“Are you okay, darling? We need to get you back upstairs.” Clarke said gently. Easing Lexa back up to the second floor.

 

“Can I draw myself a cool bath?” Lexa asked hoarsely, but Clarke shook her head.

 

“No, let me do it for you.” She said as she guided Lexa into the bathroom. She helped the brunette settle into the chair in the corner. Lexa slouched, her head lulling back to thud against the wall. The contact was followed by a guttural groan.

 

Clarke would have laughed if she hadn’t pitied the brunette so much. She turned to the tub and began to fill it, making sure the water was cold, but not bone-chilling.

 

“I feel as though the world has flipped itself upside down.” Lexa groaned, leaning dangerously to the side.

 

“Lexa, hunny. You are extremely hungover. Have you ever been this hungover before?” Clarke asked softly, coming to Lexa’s side. Lexa immediately pressed her forehead into Clarke’s stomach and made a low rumbling sound in her chest.

 

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean it is any more bearable.” Lexa whined, her voice muffled slightly due to her face being hidden against Clarke.

 

The blonde sighed and brought her hands up, one settling against Lexa’s cheek and the other stroking comfortingly against her hair. She rubbed her thumb against Lexa’s cheek and the brunette continued to make the strange low rumbling noise in her chest.

 

“Lex,” only murmured in response. “Are you purring?” She asked, a small smile stretching across her lips. Lexa looked up suddenly and the noise stopped.

 

“No, I don’t purr!” Lexa attempted to sound appalled at the accusation. And Clarke might have believed it if her voice hadn’t cracked.

 

“Whatever you say, darling.” Clarke said with a grin and Lexa frowned up at her.

 

“I don’t purr.” She pouted and Clarke stuck out her bottom lip with a pitying expression.

 

“Oh, baby.” She cooed and began to stroke Lexa’s face gently with both hands. Lexa leaned into the touch and let her eyes flutter shut. Only a moment later the sound began again and Clarke smiled. She leaned down and placed a quick, gentle kiss against Lexa’s lips.

 

“I don’t mind if you make those noises, sweetheart.” Clarke said quietly against Lexa’s lips. Lexa frowned when Clarke backed away to check the water.

 

“We should talk… shouldn’t we?” Lexa said sadly, slouching back again.

 

“We should, but you need to take your clothes off first.” Clarke said as she turned the spigot off.

 

“W-What?” Lexa choked on air and Clarke turned to look at her.

 

“So you can get in the bath.” She said as if it was so obvious.

 

“Oh, right. Right,” Lexa mumbled and stood up shakily. “Are you going to… stay in here the whole time?” She asked shyly causing Clarke to pause for a moment

 

“Lexa, do you remember any of last night?” Clarke asked and Lexa turned bright red.

 

“Uh, bits and pieces.” She responded bashfully. Clarke smiled and walked over to her again, sensing how tense she felt.

 

“Let me help you, love.” She said softly and reached for the bottom of Lexa’s shirt. Lexa complied and the blonde helps her slowly work her way out of all of her clothes.

 

Once Lexa was only in her undergarments, Clarke paused and looked her in the eyes. Lexa was bright red and standing awkwardly, not wanting Clarke to find her body unpleasant.

 

“Lex,” She reached up and soothingly rubbed Lexa’s cheek again. “I can step out if you aren’t comfortable with me seeing you naked.”

 

“You already have.” Lexa said with slight confusion and Clarke smiled gently.

 

“You’re allowed to tell me no at any time. Even if you’ve made love to me every night for months, you are still allowed to tell me no. This is your body, you are the one that gets to decide with whom and when you share yourself.” Clarke said softly as she brushed her hands across Lexa’s collar bones lightly. Lexa felt herself melting into the blonde’s hands, her eyes fluttering closed once again. 

 

Her head was pounding and she felt dizzy but the loving touches the blonde was gifting her made the pain dull slightly and she felt herself relaxing into the feeling of her careful hands. All she ever wanted was for Clarke to touch her soul and soothe her ailing. And she trusted Clarke would do so and do so with nothing but affection. She intended to do nothing but return everything the blonde gave her, and then some.

 

But maybe after she was no longer hung over.

 

“Clarke?” She asked quietly, her eyes cracking open slightly to look at the shorter girl, who was already looking at her with adoration.

 

“Yes, hunny?” Clarke asked, coaxing Lexa forward until the brunette was draping her arms around her hips and tucking her face into Clarke’s neck. Clarke could hear Lexa hum softly in content, her slow breathes tickling against her neck.

 

“I’m so sorry. I’ve been so awful to you. I know you said we should wait to I’m no longer ill to talk, but I don’t want to put it off any longer,” there was a short pause and Clarke felt something damp on her skin. She frowned, suddenly confused, thinking Lexa might have licked her. She reached up and cupped the brunette’s face, forcing her back until she could look into her eyes. She was crying. “Clarke, I am so sorry. I never meant to cause any of this.”

 

“Oh, darling. No, I’m sorry for the way I reacted. I was immature and rude. I’m sorry I hurt you with the things I said.” Clarke brushed her thumb of Lexa’s cheeks, wiping away the tears.

 

“No, Clarke. I know you are know to relationships such as ours. I must be more patient with, I should have been more understanding and I over reacted. You are right after all.” She said sadly, attempting to hide her face again but Clarke forced her back.

 

“No don’t hide, love.” Clarke said soothingly.

 

“I am not proud of the mistakes I have made, Clarke. I know my past is not something to be accepted at all. I am sorry for what I have done,” She paused and shook her head, trying to gather her chaotic thoughts. “If you don’t desire me intimately because of my past mistakes, i understand, and I don’t hold it against you.” 

 

“Oh, no darling. That’s not it,” Clarke paused, her cheeks growing warm. “It’s just… intimidating knowing you have so much experience and I don’t have… well, any at all.” 

 

Lexa frowned, confused as to why that would be a concern for the younger girl. Sure she had experience with meaningless sex with strangers, but never before had she made love to someone who she held close to her heart. If anything, she was worse for it than anything; she was the inexperienced one.

 

“Clarke, the form of intimacy I would like to share with you is nothing I have ever done before. You may not be the first person I’ve shared physical pleasure with but I hope you will be the first person I can connect with on a more loving and emotional level. I feel nothing for any of my previous partners, but you are the one that holds my heart, Clarke.” Lexa began to tear up and so did Clarke.

 

“Lexa, I would love nothing less,” She paused, stroking Lexa’s tan cheek. “Just… give me some time to be ready.” Lexa nodded immediately.

 

“I will wait a lifetime for you, my dear. If that is what you ask of me, it is what I will do.” Lexa said, leaning forward and dipping her head to place a kiss against Clarke’s cheek. 

 

She let her lips linger against the blonde’s soft skin before drawing back slightly. Before she could take a step back, Clarke was sliding her hands around her neck and pulling her flush against her, rising on her toes to press her forehead to Lexa’s. They both paused for a moment before they leaned forward together, their lips meeting softly. They moved together easily, Lexa leaning forward slightly so that Clarke didn’t have to try so hard to reach her. 

 

Lexa felt Clarke smiling against her lips and grinned in return. The blonde giggled gently, the vibrations rising from where their chest where pressed together, all the way up to where Clarke’s lips met Lexa’s.

 

“What are you laughing about?” Lexa asked, pulling away only slightly so she could speak, her tone dripping with mirth. Clarke only giggled more, reaching up again to press another giggly kiss the the brunette’s lips.

 

“You’re cute.” Clarke replied as she finally stepped back. Lexa’s brow furrowed as she scowled.

 

“Cute? Clarke, I can kill a man four times my size with minimum effort. I am not  _ cute _ .” She said sternly, watching Clarke grin up at her dopily.

 

“Well, yeah,” Clarke reached forward, slipping her fingers through the waistband of Lexa’s compression under pants. Lexa swallowed hard. “That’s the  _ Commander _ . But, like this. So  _ soft _ , so  _ loving _ . You’re  _ so  _ cute.” her voice was now sultry as she leaned forward again and straightened her arms to force the oppressive garment down Lexa’s hips.

 

“ _ Clarke _ ,” Lexa said in a low rasp. It was a warning, but it only served to encourage Clarke, who smirked and bit her lip. Lexa felt her heart flutter, something below her waist line fluttering awake as well. “ _ Don’t _ call me Commander.” She fought to keep any ounce of control that she had left.

 

“ _ Ooooh _ ,” Clarke said, dragging the noise out as she pushed Lexa’s under pants down her thighs. “Do you like that?”

 

“C-Clarke.” she choked out and, almost instantly, Clarke took several steps back and motioned to the tub.

 

“Get in, love.” Clarke said softly, offering a hand to the brunette. Lexa looked at her hand, then to the tub, then down at her own underwear that were still only pulled to her knees.

 

“I have a um…” Lexa paused, staring down at her own hard length. 

 

“I know, darling. I can see it. But it’s okay, I’ll take care of you.” Lexa could hear the smirk in her voice without having to even look at her. She leaned down and removed her under pants entirely, avoiding touching herself.

 

She stood back up straight and stepped into the tub. The warm water immediately began to sooth her tired muscles. Clarke gripped her elbow and helped her slowly lower herself into the water until she was submerged up to her shoulders. She sighed, closing her eyes and letting the heat force her muscles into relaxing. She leaned back and rested her head on the edge of the tub.

 

“Do you want me to help you wash off?” Clarke’s voice was soft and quiet and Lexa felt one of her hands slide under her chin, stroking softly against her jaw.

 

“Yes, please.” She mumbled. A few moments later the water began to move and she cracked her eyes open as she felt a hand spread flat against her abdomen. Clarke brought her other hand along Lexa’s chest, a cloth in hand lathered in soap.

 

“Sit up.” Clarke instructed and Lexa did so, realizing the way Clarke had to lean over the tub was probably very uncomfortable. 

 

Clarke ran the soapy cloth along Lexa’s back, keeping her other hand pressed against her sternum. As she continued to scrub at Lexa’s still slightly dirty, bloody skin, Lexa found herself drifting off. At one point, her head lulled to the side as she fell asleep. When she awoke a few minutes later, her head rising slowly, Clarke cooed lovingly and brushed her thumb over her cheek.

 

“Good morning.” Clarke hummed softly, running her hands through Lexa’s hair. Lexa leaned her head into Clarke’s hands and sighed again.

 

“Good morning.” she whispered back, her whole body feeling warm and content.

 

“I’m done, darling.” Clarke said and helped Lexa stand and step out of the tub. The water had started to cool down, so Lexa didn’t protest too much. She leans against Clarke’s smaller frame as the blonde wrapped a dry towel around her wet body.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Clarke handed the last chest to one of the huge, hairy men on the dock, and watched him carry it aboard the huge ship. She looked around in awe at the bustling seaside coast, busy docks lining the shore. There were hundreds of people all rushing from place to place, there were dock workers, fisherman, and merchants sitting on crates, the edges of the piers, and standing around idle ships conversing, eating, and drinking.

 

She looked over her shoulder to say something to Lexa about how intriguing the whole scene was, but she didn’t see anyone but Nyko, who was speaking with a man she recognized. Fear immediately shot through her heart. 

 

She froze, attempting to keep herself undiscovered. But it was too late, Pike had looked directly into her eyes and he was now coming directly at her, fury in his eyes. She looked around again as she started to hurry away, looking for her savior, but Lexa was nowhere to be seen.

 

“You, _ girl _ , have been disobedient for the last time.” she grabbed her wrist and yanked her backwards, pulling her to the ground. There were no passers-by stopping to stare, or slowing down to observe the scene. Clarke caught a glimpse of Nyko bounding towards them before she crashed to the ground and her head hit a post in the dock. 

 

Her vision went black for a moment and her head felt like it had been stabbed. She groaned and rolled onto her back. She still couldn’t see very well but there was a looming shadow above her, shouting something. She couldn’t understand them, could barely hear them. It sounded like she was underwater as she could hear her blood rushing in her ears.

 

She could barely make out the figures moving around as they remained weird distorted shadows and colorful smudges. Her hearing was slowly coming back but everything still sounded like people were shouting at her while she drowned.

 

She felt like she was actually drowning as her lungs tightened. Her heart was racing and she groaned in pain again. She  _ was _ dying, she  _ had _ to be. She was dying and she didn’t want to die. It got harder to take in air as her panic swelled in her chest and tightened and coiled around her like a snake.

 

She needed to figure out how to stop herself from dying. So she rolled onto her stomach, coughing and spluttering as the world underneath her swung from side to side. People were still yelling and running around, but she didn’t know why. Her vision swam as the colorful smudges started to come back into focus only slightly. She slowly pushed herself up on her hands and knees.

 

All the blood was rushing to her head as she slowly clambered to her feet. She needed to find Lexa, Lexa would know how to fix this. She took one step and stumble. She felt herself plummeting to the wood of the dock once again, but this time she didn’t hit anything, not even the ground.

 

“Lexa.” She managed to groan out, sounding strangled and hoarse. Several arms were entwining around her body, lifting her off the ground. She knew whoever was lifting her was running and shouting at each other. Her vision was coming back so slowly that it was beginning to frustrate her slightly, but she could see the ground beneath her was blurred with motion as well, and the colors were changing. 

 

“...boat...Captain...left...up there…” Clarke could only make out bits and pieces of what the people were yelling to each other. She didn’t know who it was, she barely recognized the voice. Almost like she had known them in another lifetime.

 

Her surroundings got dark and she was lain down on something soft and smooth. She continued to groan, her hands now clutching the side of her head, feeling warm, sticky blood there. She groaned out Lexa’s name several more times before she was met with the sound of Lexa’s familiar voice. 

 

She hadn’t realized she had been crying, but the tears slowed now. Lexa sounded furious, she was yelling at several people with such venom that Clarke thought her tone alone had killed them. 

 

Then Lexa’s face came into view. Her face was only slightly blurry, almost like when Clarke was a young girl and would secretly put on Pike’s spectacles. The brunette’s expression was soft as she pulled Clarke into her arms and pressed something cold to the side of her head where she had hit it.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Lexa grinned broadly at Clarke look of awe as she observed the bustle of the docks. She couldn’t wait to show Clarke her most prized ship, especially the captains quarters.

 

She started to reach for Clarke, to place her hand on her lower back and whisper something to her about the boat she was looking at, when she heard a very feminine grunt behind her and turned to find its source. 

 

She was met with the sight of small, young woman trying to lift a very,  _ very  _ large crate. She recognized the girl from part of the crew Nyko had recruited, but she couldn’t remember her name.

 

“Here, let me help.” Lexa said, quickly rushing to put her hands under the crate. The girl paused and glared at her.

 

“I’m not weak, I can do it.” She said sternly, her brow knit in anger at being underestimated.

 

“I have no doubts that you are strong, but this crate would be hard to lift single-handedly for even my strongest man,” She looked to girl in the eyes and smiled kindly. “And it is never a weakness to admit that you are in need of assistance.”

 

The girl stared at Lexa for a moment before rolling her eyes and nodding, mumbling something about, “whatever, man.”

 

Lexa slid her hands under two corners of the crate while the girl held the other two. She walked easily, communicating well to smoothly move the large crate onto her ship. 

They set it down on the deck of the ship where some of the stronger crew members were moving them below decks.

 

“Uh, thanks… I guess.” The smaller girl said before disappearing below decks. Lexa grinned to herself and shook her head. Chances were, that the girl had no idea who she was. 

 

She began to get off the boat again, her hands tucked into her trouser pockets, looking for Clarke. She began to call out to her, but stopped when she saw Clarke turn on her heels and try to run for some reason. Lexa then realized why when she saw none other than Charles Pike grabbing her wrist and pulling her down. Lexa immediately broke into a sprint, pushing bystanders out of the way.

 

She couldn’t get through the crowd quite fast enough and felt the rage swelling in her chest.  _ How dare he, how dare he lay a hand on her, how dare he come back for her _ . Lexa knew the feeling she wasn’t daring to stop. Her unbridled rage was growing inside of her like a virus, pumping through her veins like it was her life blood.

 

Once she managed to reach Clarke, and Pike, she observed the scene before her. Clarke was laying on the deck on her back, blood trickling down the side of her head. She was whining in pain, curling in on herself. Pike went to grab her again but Lexa wouldn’t give him a chance.

 

She charged forward. a growl split from her chest as she dove forward, arms wrapping around Pike’s shoulders as she tackled him to the wood of the dock. They hit the ground with a thud and Lexa could distantly hear Nyko yelling things at her but she ignored it. She was almost literally seeing red, a fire blazing in her chest as she wrestled Pike to keep him down. 

 

She took advantage of his shock and pinned him on his back. She crouched over his torso, one leg stretched to the side, her foot pinning his left wrist to the ground. Her other leg was curled, pressed into his side, holding his other arm to himself. He kicked his legs and tried to sit up to throw her off but she yelled angrily again.

 

She pressed her hand to his face and slammed his head back down onto the wood below. She curled her other hand into a fist and slammed it straight down onto her face, his nose breaking upon impact, sending blood splattering on his own face and Lexa’s fist.

 

She brought her other fist down immediately, across his face this time, his head snapping to the side with the force of it. She continued to slam her fists against his face over and over and over again, roaring with rage with each strike. 

 

Her next blow sent him into unconsciousness but she didn’t stop. Her rage fueled her entirely and she began to fully lose control of her limbs as she felt herself beginning to black out. A small voice in the back of her head told her that she had to stop, that she couldn’t let herself slip like this. She knew that what she was doing was bad and she should stop it, but her arms continued no matter how much she tried to at least slow them.

 

Them two thick arms slipped around her, trapping her arms at her sides as she was lifted up off the ground. She Began kicking her legs in protest, screaming at whoever had pulled her away.

 

“Breathe, Lexie. Take a deep breathe.” Lincoln’s voice was calm and quiet, barely audible over the sound of the blood rushing to her head following her anger. She calmed down but only slightly, struggling to free herself with much less vigor.

 

“Lex,” She heard Anya call. She threw her head back, slamming it into Lincoln’s shoulder a lot harder than she intended. Her rage made her motions more violent than she wanted them to be. She was making small noises of discomfort and her voice cracked, her throat hoarse. “Lex, calm down.”

 

Anya was now in front of her, holding her face. She began rubbing her cheek as she used her other to take one of Lexa’s clenched fists and slowly work her into opening it. Lexa breathed deeply as her eyes began to focus on Anya’s familiar face. 

 

“Breathe with me,” Lincoln said quietly in her ear. “In through the nose, out through the mouth.” Lincoln and Anya worked together for a few long moments, Anya saying certain things she knew would calm the girl down, and Lincoln helping her control her breathing. 

 

Once Lexa finally had a clear enough head that she wouldn’t immediately pounce back onto Pike, She pushed her siblings off of her and stormed onto the boat where she’d seen some of the crew carry Clarke off to. 

 

As she boarded the boat, she heard someone yell that they were taking Clarke to the Captains quarters. She made a B-line for her quarters and could feel the rage still ebbing and flowing inside of her chest. 

 

When she walked through the door she saw five people standing around the bed arguing in loud whispers. The girl that Lexa had helped before was among them, along with a tall, floppy haired man with a neatly trimmed beard, a pale boy who Lexa could already tell had a hint of mischief. The other two people were Nyko and Indra.

 

“You two,” Lexa yelled, her head pounding with the force of it. She pointed at the two boys. “Get out, go finish preparing for our departure.” She demanded and they nodded, rushing out of the room without looking her in the eyes, afraid of the fire there.

 

“She’s conscious-” Indra began to say but Lexa raised one hand and she stopped short.

 

“You two, go get me things to clean her up,” they began to leave before she even finished speaking. “And you, you go let my siblings know that as soon as the ship is ready, all of the crew must be on decks, and that they must set sail immediately, even if I am still not above deck. Is that understood?” She said to the small girl. She nodded and began to exit but Lexa grabbed her arm and stopped her.

 

“Is there something else?” She asked. And Lexa furrowed her brow.

 

“When I give you an order I expect a proper response. I am your _ captain _ , not your  _ friend _ .” The biting tone in Lexa’s voice made her wince slightly but then she nodded slowly.

 

“Yes, captain.” and with that she was gone.

 

Only a moment later, Nyko returned with medical supplies and set them on the table near the bed. He rung out a cloth and turned to Lexa.

 

“Indra stayed above to help finish loading the cargo.” He supplied and Lexa waved one hand dismissively as she took the cold, wet cloth with the other.

 

“That’s fine. You do the same… or not. It doesn’t matter. Just get out of my sight.” She hissed. Nyko ducked his head and made his exit politely.

 

Lexa sat on the edge of the bed and pressed the cloth gently to the side of Clarke’s head and stroked her other cheek with her free hand. She gently wiped the blood away and examined the wound. Once she saw that it was only a large gash right above her temple that extended slightly up into her hairline, She made sure the blood flow had stopped. She got up and got bandages, dressing the wound carefully. 

 

Clarke gripped one of her wrists and groaned as she did so. She leaned closer and cooed soothingly.

 

“Lexa…?” Clarke groaned quietly and Lexa immediately pressed her lips to the blonde’s forehead.

 

“Yes, love. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys uhhh haha.... I'm too awkward and don't know how to start this lol. I guess I'll just start by apologizing again for keeping you guys waiting. I have several reasons as to why it took so long. Hopefully, I can keep updating regularly now, though not nearly every day like i had been before. Hopefully AT LEAST once a week, this is going to be the juiciest parts of the story. 
> 
> Anyways, My excuse is basically that i have been insanely busy not only with school but also with my personal life. I have very bad depression, anxiety, and OCD (among other things) and those three have been kicking my ass for the past few weeks. I'm not getting much help from my parents with it so as I am legally still a minor, I can't exactly get help for myself as way of medications and therapy without an adult. I'm turning 18 on the 30th and my girlfriend and my best friend have been helping me search for an apartment, but the search is hard, and landlords are less likely to rent to and 18 year old that is still in high school. Basically, my home life is rough, for many reasons, but i'm trying to get myself out of the bad situation.
> 
> Other than than, the beginning of December was rough because my girlfriend of a year and a half broke things off and it hit me hard. I was basically thrown into a depressive episode and having the only help i had previously suddenly walk out of my life is not something that sat well with me to say the least. At that time, it was very difficult for me to sit down for longer than five minutes and concentrate, let alone write about two people in love and reconciling. After nearly four weeks we managed to talk about things and realized a lot of the issue was based on misunderstanding and lack of communication over the larger, overarching issue. we are now back together and have been since December 25th.
> 
> Once all of that had been settled and things started to get back to normal, I assumed I would be okay enough to start this chapter. Which I began to do, but it was slow going. I had hit a mental block and only after a couple hundred words, the end of the semester caught up with me and I realized that in the past few rough weeks, I had let my grades fall exponentially. I now to some getting a couple C's or D's isn't awful, but as a straight A student, it has been very difficult to deal with.
> 
> this week is my finals week for a couple classes so thing should be a little lighter by next week and hopefully I can keep the content coming in a steady, yet unpredictable flow.
> 
> thank you all for the unwavering support. I am truly sorry I kept you all waiting for so long. I know a lot of you enjoy the story I am telling and I deeply hope I don't let any of you down. As usual, give me some feedback, let me know what you thought. tell me some of YOUR life. rant in the comments. Let me know your hopes and fears for this story. Say whatever you want, I love hearing from you guys. 
> 
> I love you all. : ) <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All I have to say about this chapter is: uhhh ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> raven is introduced this chapter briefly, Bellamy and Murphy fight, and uhhhhh . . . yeahhh

Lexa blinked against the blinding early morning sun. It was the third morning since they’d set sail and Lexa had spent half her time above decks ordering people around halfheartedly and the other half of her time taking care of Clarke as she recovered from her blow to the head.

 

“Mornin’ Captain.” One of the crew members said. He was scrawny and pale but in the last few days he had begun to develop a slight sunburn. He also wore what Lexa thought to be comically large eyeglasses on his face.

 

“Good morning.” She responded gruffly and titled the brim of her hat at him. The majority of the purpose for the hat was to shield her eyes from the sun… and she secretly thought it made her look good.

 

“Breakfast, Ma’am.” Another crew member said from a nearby barrel, tossing a shiny red apple at her. She caught it easily and gave him a curt nod of thanks. He had been one of the three that had carried Clarke to her quarters that day at the docks. Lexa had soon learned the girl she had helped that day was his younger sister. They had both been delivered to her by Pike.

 

She looked around her ship as she sank her teeth into the sweet fruit. Everything seemed to be running smoothly, the crew was finally getting used to the swing of this and she luckily managed to scrape together just enough of them so that they could work in shifts, leading to a more productive crew throughout the whole day.

 

She made her way towards the edge of the boat, her leather boots tapping against the polished wood. She peered over the edge into the water. It was dark and infinite. 

 

_ Emptiness above _ , she thought as she looked up to the sky.  _ Emptiness below _ , she looked back down into the ocean. She felt the urge to dive in, but she had been in her fair share of shipwrecks to know that the ocean was a deadly, unforgiving expanse.

 

She reached above her head, taking a firm grasp of the shrouds. She easily pulled herself up, holding the apple tightly between her teeth as she ascended with practiced ease. Once she reach the top, she swiftly swung her feet up in one motion and landed easily in the crows nest.

 

She chuckled as she saw the crew member put on watch had fallen asleep. She stepped nearer to the other woman and kicked her foot with her own. The girl immediately startled awake and cried out in surprise.

 

“What the hell-” She started to yell until she realized who was standing in front of her. Lexa smirked as she stood up and saluted sloppily. “Good morning Captain.” She said shakily.

 

“At ease, soldier.” Lexa said teasingly before taking another bite of her apple. The girl relaxed and dropped back down into the small stool clumsily.

 

“Thank you ma’am.” She sighed.

 

“Okay, enough. Get out of my sight.” Lexa said, waving her off.

 

“What? No, ma’am I promise I’m doing a proper job.” She pleaded, thinking she would be punished.

 

“Oh, hush. You can’t do a ‘proper job’ if you’re asleep at your post.” Lexa said with a soft chuckle. “Go get some rest, you obviously need it.”

 

“T-Thank you ma’am.” She said as she got to her feet again, sloppily tossing her legs over the border of the crows nest.

 

“Stop calling me that.” Lexa said and she paused to look at her. “What’s your name?”

 

“Raven, m- Captain.” She answered and Lexa nodded.

 

“Go sleep, Raven.” She waved her off and with that Raven was gone, descending groggily.

 

Lexa leaned against the rail and looked out over the great expanse of blue that stretched in every direction. She let her thoughts wander until her mind settled on the topic of Clarke. She got completely lost in thoughts all Clarke until she heard a loud yelp from far below. 

 

She leaned over the edge to see two of the crew members tussling on the main deck of the ship.

 

“Hey!” She bellowed as she swung down quickly and slid down the shrouds until her boots hit the deck again. “Hey!” She called again.

 

She pushed past the small circled that had formed around them and the crowd immediately dispersed as they realized who had just appeared. She reached the two boys and grabbed the one by the back of his shirt, yanking him to his feet and backwards until her stumbled back, falling on his rear a few feet away. 

 

The other one tried to pursue him but Lexa grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and gave him one solid punch to the face for good measure before tossing him back down on the deck.

 

“What the hell is going on here?” She growled in a venomous tone. She recognized the boy she had punched as the boy who had given her the apple that morning. The other was another who had helped carry Clarke to the boat three days prior.

 

“He’s been stealing more rations than he’s allowed!” The older one yelled, pointing at the paler boy. Lexa felt anger rising in her chest and took a deep breath.

 

“Are you a fucking animal? Or a child?” She asked angrily and he looked at her in shock. “There are more civil ways of solving things and working them out than immediately getting involved in fisticuffs!” She hissed, going over to the smaller boy, pulling him roughly to his feet by one arm.

 

“I just wanted another apple.” He groan, holding a hand against his bruised cheek. Lexa rolled her eyes at his melodrama and squeezed his arm tighter before shoving him roughly towards the door to the lower decks.

 

“Go clean yourself up fool, then report to my offices. You,” She turned to the older boy, yanking him to his feet as well. “Get the hell in my office.” She demanded and her stumbled through the door. “The rest of you get back to manning my damn ship!” She yelled to the rest of the crew, who all immediately pretended like they hadn’t been watching the whole thing.

 

She went towards the stern and climbed the stairs to find Anya behind the wheel of the ship. Anya looked at her and grinned a shit eating grin.

 

“Don’t even start.” Lexa warned.

 

“All I’m gonna say is: boys.” Anya said with a dramatic eye roll. Lexa chuckled and leaned against a barrel.

 

“Where’s Linc?” She asked and Anya just shrugged. “I have to go deal with those two buffoons soon. Think you can handle another couple hours?” Lexa questioned and Anya gave her an incredulous look.

 

“Hours? You taking a little trip to the market?” Anya joked and Lexa rolled her eyes.

 

“No, I was gonna check on Clarke.” Lexa explained.

 

“Ah, finally bedding her, I see.” Anya commented, her shit eating grin returning. Lexa punched her sister in the arm.

 

Anya responded instantly by abandoning the wheel and pouncing on Lexa, knocking her onto the ground where they rolled around, grabbing at each other’s faces and necks for a moment until they noticed the ship was starting to drift in the wrong direction.

 

“Grab the wheel!” Lexa shouted as they scrambled to their feet, crew members began shouting around the boat as Lexa and Anya laughed as they worked together to turn the wheel as hard as they could in order to get the ship back en route.

 

“Fool.” Anya chided and Lexa chuckled.

 

“Imbecile.” Lexa retorted as they chuckled together. The ship was back on course so Lexa bid Anya farewell and made her way to her offices.

 

When she got there, she found both of the boys from before bickering under their breath. She stepped into the office and shut the door.

 

“Shut up.” She ordered and they jumped, immediately silenced, and straightened themselves to look dead ahead. “What the hell happened?”

 

She circled her desk and took a seat, leaning back and propping her feet up. They both stared at her blankly before glancing at each other, then back at her.

 

“He keeps taking more than his share of the supplies.” The older boy said defensively and the other one scoffed.

 

“Asking for an extra apple is hardly stealing.” He rolled his eyes. The older boy began to raise his voice, but before He could even get one word out, Lexa lifted her hand and he immediately silenced.

 

“Do you two enjoy being treated like respectable men?” She questioned and they both hesitated before nodding slowly. They both flinched when she stood up quickly and slammed her fist against the table. “Then stop acting like god damn children!”

 

“But, ma’am-” The older one began to argue and she shot him a glare.

 

“Shut up, fool. We have stops along the journey to restock any items we may need. Him asking you for an extra apple isn’t thievery.” She scolded and he slouched in his chair.

 

Lexa sat back down and signed, running her finger tips along the seam of her trousers.

 

“And you, you don't need two of everything. You are one man, you eat your fair share. What are your names?” Lexa said halfheartedly. Her thoughts began to diverge to the blonde who was probably currently still asleep in her quarters.

 

“Uh, my name is Bellamy Blake.” the older boy said slowly.

 

“John Murphy, most call me Murphy.” The smaller one said, visibly irritated.

 

“Alright, Mr. Blake, Mr. Murphy. If you two can't get your shit together and act like civilized humans rather that wild animals, I'll have both of you towed behind the ship in our smallest boat  _ with food enough for only one.  _ Do you understand me?” She said sternly and both men nodded quickly. “Good, now get out of my sight.” she waved them with a flutter of one hand.

 

They scampered out and shut the door, leaving Lexa slouched in her chair behind her desk. She breathed in deeply and closed her eyes, rubbing her temples.

 

“How will I do this for two more months.” She sighed, getting to her feet. She straightened the chairs and surveyed the room. Everything was where she liked it.

 

She sighed yet again as she gave the room another once over before leaving. Instead of turning and going above decks, she immediately went through another door and entered her personal quarters. She found Clarke laying bleary eyes on the large bed, looking around.

 

“How are your eyes doing, darling?” Lexa asked as she strode over, Clarke looking at her as her eyes slowly came into focus. Clarke reached out for her and pulled her on top of the bed. Lexa yelped as she tumbled forward on top of her love.

 

“They seem to be doing better. Far away is still a little blurry.” Clarke said after giggling at Lexa’s distress.

 

“I’m glad to hear that, Clarke.” Lexa said politely before rolling off of Clarke and laying next to her on her back. Clarke took this as an invitation and curled against Lexa’s side, her arm draped across the brunette’s torso. Lexa immediately wrapped one arm around her waist and moved her head so that Clarke could place her own on her shoulder.

 

“What’s wrong, Lex? Why are you shutting down?” Clarke had realized over the last few stressful days that whenever something went wrong, or upset Lexa, she had more than one way of shutting down. The pair had agreed that they had to tell each other what was bothering them as soon as they could articulate their feelings. Then, they would help each other work through them.

 

“I’m sorry darling, I’m not intending to.” Lexa sighed, sitting up, causing Clarke to sit up with her. Clarke scooted closer beside her and brushed stray hairs behind her ear.

 

“Tell me what’s ailing you, sweetheart.” Clarke whispered, gently pressing a kiss to Lexa’s shoulder.

 

“I just was dealing with an incident with two crew men. They were acting childish and it set me off. The stress of the past few days has just been building up and I let it get to me far more than I should have.” Lexa explained, tilting her head back to look at the wood above them. She closed her eyes and felt the slow swaying of the ship on the small ocean waves; a feeling that had always soothed her.

 

“Oh, Lexa. I’m sure it  _ was _ frustrating.” Clarke cooed, situating to sit in front of Lexa, cupping her cheeks softly. “I’m sure they were being ridiculous. You aren’t bad for getting angry, you just have to learn to not let your anger control you.”

 

“I know.” The brunette sighed yet again.

 

“I’m glad you’re becoming more aware of the things you’re feeling, and I appreciate you sharing it with me, love. Once I feel fully recovered, I’ll be above decks and I’ll help you keep them civilized. For now just forget about that. It’s in the past, you can’t change it, just be here with me right now.” Clarke smiled lovingly at Lexa, who felt her heart fluttering. Lexa would never understand how such a simple statement from Clarke could make her entire body tingle.

 

She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against Clarke’s taking a deep breath, holding it, then letting it out slowly.

 

“I’m here, Clarke.” She whispered.

 

“I love you.” Clarke murmured without processing her words fully before they escaped. Both women realized at the same time what Clarke had said, both their eyes going wide as they stared at each other. Clarke leaned back and felt her entire body heat up with embarrassment.

 

“Wait, you mean that?” Lexa asked, her voice shaking in fear. As if she could wake up from this dream at any second.

 

“Uh, I didn’t mean to say it now.” Clarke mumbled. “B-But, yes, I-I do mean it.” She felt her palms getting sweatier by the second.

 

Lexa froze for a moment before pouncing forward, tackling Clarke against the mattress, pinning her down. She quickly kissed her lips before kissing her forehead, cheeks, nose, chin and lips again.

 

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” Lexa mumble over and over again between each kiss, feeling like she was floating with childish excitement. She felt as though the grin splitting her face from ear to ear might actually crack her skin. Clarke began giggling and scrunching her face up, her hands coming to lightly press against Lexa’s shoulders.

 

“Lexaaa!” Clarke squealed, attempting to hold Lexa at bay as she planted more quick kisses all over her face.

 

“Clarke!” Lexa yelled back giddily.

 

After several moments of the pair wrestling playfully against each other, Lexa leaned down and captured Clarke’s lips in a kiss that suddenly felt a lot more searing than the others. Clarke’s body reacted right away, her legs rising to wrap around Lexa’s waist as the brunette’s hands pressed her hips into the mattress below them.

 

“Clarke.” Lexa mumbled her name against her lips like she was begging to a god. Clarke knew her whole body must be flushed bright red but she couldn’t seem to care. She hummed quietly in response to Lexa, sliding her hands down to the brunette’s hips then to the center of her back. 

 

Lexa enjoyed the feeling of Clarke’s hands gliding over her body and reached one hand to the hem of her own shirt, untucking it as incentive. Clarke got the hint before Lexa even finished pulling her shirt from her trousers. 

 

Clarke pulled her face away from Lexa’s for a moment to look between their bodies and maneuver around Lexa’s suspenders. It only took a second of awkward movements for Lexa to growl quietly in frustration and unclip her suspenders and toss them across the room.

 

Clarke slipped her hands back up Lexa’s shirt and brushed hr fingers of the front of her chest bindings. She searched with her hands for a moment to find the end of the bandages but found it increasingly difficult to concentrate as Lexa’s lips found her neck.

 

She tilted her head to the side to give Lexa easier access to her neck and couldn’t help the quiet whimper that slipped past her lips as soon as Lexa found her pulse point and bit down playfully.

 

Now it was Clarke’s turn to get frustrated. She huffed and yanked on Lexa’s bindings, earning a small chuckled from Lexa. As the brunette sat up she saw the glare Clarke was delivering for her laughing and immediately stopped.

 

“What do you need?” Lexa asked, sliding her hands down Clarke’s stomach. Clarke arched her back into her hands and huffed again.

 

“Take it off.” Clarke demanded and Lexa smirked, obliging. She pulled her shirt over her head in one swift movement before skillfully removing the bandages wrapped around her chest. Clarke’s hands came up right away and cupped her breasts, kneading them experimentally. Lexa subtly arched her back into the blonde’s hands.

 

“What else?” She asked, leaning forward again, putting a hand on either side of Clarke’s head, hovering above her.

 

“All of it.” Clarke replied quickly. Lexa raised a questioning eyebrow. “Take it all off. Everything.” She elaborated and Lexa sucked in a sharp breath.

 

It suddenly hit Lexa what exactly what Clarke was asking of her. Her mind began to race as she stared at Clarke blankly, her eyes unfocused. None of it was happening how she had wanted or had planned.

 

“Lex,” Clarke said softly, reaching up to cup her face. “I’m not going to make you do anything. But… I want you.” Clarke said softly, sitting up to kiss Lexa gingerly. Lexa snapped back to reality and kissed Clarke back.

 

“This just isn’t how I had hoped this would happen.” Lexa admitted and Clarke frowned so Lexa quickly went to explain. “I just.. I wanted it to be more… romantic, I guess.” Lexa said shyly and Clarke smiled.

 

“Baby, this is all that I need. Just you. I don’t need it to be a fairy tale. I just want you and as long as it’s you making love to me, it’ll be more than enough for me.” Clarke explained and Lexa’s heart fluttered yet again.

 

“Are you certain? You can stop me at any time.” Lexa said, still hesitating.

 

“God, yes Lex, I am certain. I just want you to show me how much you love me.” Clarke said, her voice on the brink of a begging tone.

 

“I love you very much.” Lexa said before sliding off the bed. “Come here.”

 

Clarke got up as well and stood directly next to the bed, watching as Lexa removed her own trousers. Clarke was still only in her nightgown, so she reached for the hem to remove it when Lexa’s hand shot out and grabbed it to stop her.

 

“Let me.” Lexa whispered and stepped into Clarke’s space. The blonde felt her heart tremble along with her legs as she watched Lexa sink to her knees in front of her, holding eye contact all the while. “Let me take care of you.” All Clarke could do was nod.

 

Lexa turned her gaze to Clarke’s legs, sliding her hands up them slowly, lifting the hem of Clarke’s gown as she went. Once she had uncovered all the way up to her stomach, she dipped her head down and pressed sensual kisses to both of Clarke’s thighs, then her hips and stomach. She lifted the gown higher leaving kissed all the way up to Clarke’s chest.

 

She then rose to her feet and pulled Clarke’s arms through the sleeves, then lifted the garment over her head. Once it was removed, she carelessly tossed it over her shoulder. She then reached behind Clarke’s back and untied Clarke’s brassiere. 

 

Once Clarke’s breasts were uncovered, Lexa couldn’t restrain herself, she leaned down and took one of Clarke’s nipples into her mouth, causing Clarke to gasp as tangle a hand through her hair.

 

Lexa brought her hand up to cup Clarke’s other breast as she slowly backed her up until she bumped into the bed. She gently swirled her tongue around the hardening bud in her mouth and listen as Clarke sighed in response.

 

She quickly switched sides and repeated her previous actions, causing Clarke to sigh again.

 

“Clarke.” Lexa murmured as she stood up straight again, grazing her teeth against Clarke’s neck. All the while, Clarke simply clung to Lexa for dear life, stunned by her own arousal. They’d fooled around before, but this time felt different because she knew what was coming and Lexa was somehow more loving than before. Clarke hadn’t thought Lexa could possibly display more affection for her intimately than she already had.

 

“Mm, Lex-ahh!” Clarke’s soft hum turned into a soft moan of surprise as Lexa slipped one leg between Clarke’s to press against her core. Clarke’s immediate response was to start rolling her hips against Lexa’s thigh. She lifted both hands to wrap her arms around Lexa’s neck, crossing her wrists behind her head.

 

After almost an entire minute of Clarke grinding her core desperately against Lexa’s thigh and Lexa meeting her ministrations half way, Clarke suddenly realized what Lexa was doing. The bulge against her leg quickly hardened and grew until Clarke couldn’t ignore it anymore.

 

She reached down with one hand and weakly tugged at Lexa’s underpants. She shuddered lightly as Lexa pressed her thigh up just a bit harder, giving her some much needed contact to her clit. Clarke gasped and moaned quietly into Lexa’s shoulder.

 

“Let go, baby.” Lexa whispered as she slowly removed her leg from between Clarke’s, but Clarke wasn’t having it and chased the friction of Lexa’s thigh with her hips, whimpering in protest.

 

“No, don’t stop.” She mumbled and Lexa grinned. Lexa lowered one hand between Clarke’s legs, pressing lightly to her clit. Clarke gasped and rolled her hips involuntarily.

 

“I’ll give you something much better in a moment, love.” Lexa soothed, using her free hand to brush Clarke’s hair back. She began to draw tiny, light circles against Clarke’s sensitive bud as she stepped back and started to removed her underpants with one hand.

 

Once she managed to kick them off, she removed her hand from between Clarke’s thighs. Clarke began to protest again but Lexa quickly silenced her by grabbing her underpants with both hands and tearing the seems. She discarded the tarnished garment.

“Hey, I liked those.” Clarke pouted and Lexa laughed quietly.

 

“You’re about to like all of this a whole lot more.” She teased and Clarke giggled.

 

“Prove it.” Clarke taunted and Lexa raised an eyebrow.

 

“Okay, get back on the bed.” Lexa ordered and Clarke did so, crawling backwards on her elbows as Lexa crawled after her on her hands and knees. Once her head hit the pillows Lexa reached her and planted a kiss to her forehead.

 

“Lexa?” Clarke asked hesitantly.

 

“Yes, love?” Lexa pushed herself up a bit so she could look at Clarke who was obviously feeling timid.

 

“Will it hurt?” She asked and Lexa’s expression softened tenfold.

 

“Perhaps for a moment, love. But I’ll go slow and gentle. If the pain doesn’t go away, tell me and I’ll stop. Okay?” Lexa said softly, brushing a stray hair out of Clarke’s face.

 

“Okay, I think I’m ready.” Clarke said after a deep breath.

 

“Hang on, darling.” Lexa smiled softly and reached one hand between their bodies. She brought one finger to brush along the damp folds of Clarke’s entrance, causing to blonde to shutter.

 

She then dipped her fingertip in and swirled it in a small motion. After seeing that Clarke was getting more responsive with each movement, she began sliding the entire length of her index finger into Clarke’s tight walls. She pumped it a few times and listened as Clarke began to pant through parted lips.

 

She withdrew her finger and put it into her own mouth, lapping at the wetness that tasted of Clarke. She hummed in satisfaction around her finger and held eye contact with Clarke as she did so.

 

“ _ Please _ .” Clarke whispered. Lexa removed her finger from her mouth and re-situated herself so she could hold herself up on her elbows. She leaned her weight on one arm and reached down to grasp her own hardened length. She ran the head along Clarke’s folds and reveled in the nearly inaudible whimpers coming from the blonde.

 

She brought the head of her shaft to gentle press against Clarke’s pink bud, earning a moan from Clarke. The blonde held tightly to Lexa’s hips but another light press and her hands quickly slid up to grasp her shoulders around her back. She once again wrapped her legs around her lover’s waist.

 

“ _ Please _ .  _ Inside _ .” Clarke pleaded and Lexa hummed softly. She leaned down and captured Clarke’s lips with her own as she lined herself up with her entrance. Clarke could sense it coming and felt her muscles tense up slightly. Lexa felt this and stopped her movement, sliding her hands up to rub Clarke’s hip.

 

“Relax, baby. It’ll feel much better if you aren’t so tense.” Lexa said quietly. Clarke nodded and slowly relaxed herself. When she nodded again, Lexa returned her hand to her own shaft and lined herself up again. This time, Clarke didn’t tense up, she simply took a deep breath.

 

The tip of Lexa’s member pushed past the tight ring of Clarke’s entrance, causing Clarke to gasp sharply at the stinging sensation. Lexa leaned down and kissed her again, swallowing the gasp.

 

She continued carefully sliding in inch by inch and when she got about half way in Clarke pulled away from their kiss and asked her to stop. Lexa immediately started to pull out but Clarke’s legs tightened around her hips, holding her in place.

 

“No, don’t move.” Clarke murmured as her eyes fluttered shut. “Just… Give me a second.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Lexa said gently, her voice wavering. Clarke’s eyes opened a crack for her to look at Lexa.

 

“It’s okay, come here.” She pulled gently on Lexa’s back, pulling their bodies together until they were chest to chest and Lexa’s face was buried in Clarke’s neck. 

 

Clarke’s inner walls fluttered as Lexa moved slightly to re-position her body in order to hold herself and not crush Clarke. Her hips gave a small involuntary roll into Clarke’s slick heat. The blonde moaned quietly and squeezed Lexa’s shoulder.

 

“S-Sorry.” Lexa stutter as she tensed, using nearly all of her willpower to resist thrusting the rest of her shaft deep inside of Clarke. Clarke simply sighed and rolled her hips, drawing Lexa in by another inch. 

 

“Here, I can do it.” Clarke rasped as she rolled her hips again, her words fading into a quiet whine. “Just move a little bit.”

 

Lexa did as she was told and pulled out slightly before rolling her hips forward again, she slipped even deeper inside of Clarke’s tight walls and bit her lip to hold back the throaty moan she could feel building up.

 

“K-Keep doing that.” Clarke said breathlessly as Lexa obliged, slowly sliding out and then back in half way. “I-It hurts.” Clarke winced slightly at the dull burn of her sex being stretched by Lexa’s thick member.

 

“I can stop.” Lexa whispered, slowly her hips even more.

 

“No, no. Please don’t stop. It feels good too.” She moved a hand to cup the back of Lexa’s head, gently scratching the nape of her neck. “You’re so big.” She commented, rolling her hips to take in even more of Lexa’s throbbing cock. 

 

“Ugh,” Lexa grunted, rolling her hips in time with Clarke’s. It only took a few more rhythmic thrusts and suddenly Lexa bottomed out before either of them expected it. “ _ Fuck _ .” Lexa gasped. 

 

Clarke let out a long breath and held Lexa tightly against her chest.

 

“Don’t move yet.” She mumbled, trying to form a coherent thought through her thick arousal. She felt her own wetness dripping between her legs. Their was that stretching feeling making her legs shake, but it was dulling quickly as Lexa pressed butterfly light kissed against her shoulder.

 

“I’ve got you, darling.” Lexa said softly and kissed Clarke’s cheek. Clarke released a slow breath and nodded before realizing that Lexa wasn’t looking at her face.

 

“I’m ready, slowly please.” Clarke mumbled and immediately moaned as Lexa gave a small jerk of her hips.

 

At first, the brunette would only pull out an inch or two before slowly pushing back inside. Each movement made another small gasp fall from Clarke’s lips. A bead of sweat rolled down Lexa’s temple from the effort of holding herself back, wanting so badly to pound relentlessly into Clarke welcoming cunt. 

 

She resisted though, wanting for Clarke’s comfort and enjoyment over her own greedy lust. She had never felt anything so glorious as Clarke warm, wet, clinging heat. It made her mind short circuit and all she could think about was making Clarke cry out with unbridled pleasure.

 

The next time she pulled out, she pulled out until almost only the head still remained buried inside, then pressed forward, a bit quicker than before. Clarke gasped and dug her fingernails into Lexa’s shoulders.

 

“Ooo, do that-” She cut herself off with another moan as Lexa repeated the action. “Keep going, keep going.” She begged and obviously Lexa obliged.

 

Each thrust picked up the pace ever so slightly until Lexa settled on a slower, rhythmic motion. Nearly every menstruation drew a quiet moan from Clarke, who had never felt any form of pleasure even remotely close to that.

 

“Faster, faster, faster.” She repeated over and over and Lexa complied, rising up to balance on her elbows to slightly adjust the angle. She began a harder pace, grunting every now and again when Clarke’s walls fluttered around her length.

 

“ _ Fuck _ , you’re so tight.” Lexa groaned, pushing up onto one hand, her other moving down to grip Clarke thigh for leverage. She then leaned back nearly all the way, trying to find the spot she knew would help bring Clarke to her climax. 

 

She shifted again, sliding her other arm under Clarke’s lower back, lifting it off the mattress slight. She moved her legs to settle under Clarke’s raised back to hold it in place as she leaned forward again, the hand that had been behind her back pressing into the mattress as she fisted the sheets.

 

“Hang on baby.” She grunted and slid her knees back slightly so that she was thrusting at a downward angle. Clarke’s hands moved about wildly, looking for a purchase. Her left hand found the bicep of Lexa’s arm that was pressed into the mattress, the other went above her head to grip the dead frame in a death grip.

 

“ _ Fuck, Lex- ughh fuck! _ ” Clarke moaned , her volume raising a bit more than it had before. Her inner walls clenched around Lexa’s shaft, letting Lexa know she was on the right track. 

 

She knew she just had to change the angle ever so slightly. She looked to her right, picking up the pace as she thought as best she could given how heavenly Clarke’s sex felt wrapped around her shaft.

 

“Hold onto me, love.” Lexa said, leaning down till they were chest to chest again. Through Clarke haze of extreme arousal, she barely understood, but got it just enough to wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck. 

 

She let out another gasp as Lexa pulled her up off the bed. Lexa stayed buried deep inside Clarke as she leaned back in a sitting position.  She settled Clarke on her knees, one on either side of her hips.

 

“Here, baby.” Lexa whispered as she took hold of both of Clarke’s hips with her hands. She gripped tightly to hold Clarke in place, hovering above her just enough for her to slam her hips up into the blonde’s.

 

“ _ Oh _ ,” Clarke gasped, realizing just what Lexa had been trying to do as her head of her cock slammed against her front wall deliciously with each relentless thrust. “ _ Yessss _ ,  _ right t-there _ .” She struggled to get the words out as Lexa pounded into her mercilessly. 

 

She felt her legs shaking and knew she couldn’t hold herself up, so she put her hands on Lexa’s chest and pushed her to lay down against the mattress. She bit her lip as she looked down at Lexa, her expression focused. 

 

The brunettes eyebrows were knit together with concentration, Her lower lip pulled between her teeth, perspiration coating her features. Clarke looked down at her torso. Nearly every muscle taut and rippling with her efforts. Her entire body was blushed a light shade of red and Clarke found the whole sight to be more arousing than she had ever imagined.

 

Then her eyes drifted down to where their bodies were connected. She caught a glimpse of Lexa’s member coated in her own arousal, saw that her own wetness had coated Lexa’s hips. She saw her arousal dripping down her own thighs. She watched Lexa’s hands, white knuckled against her hips as she held her in place to pound upwards into her.

 

She felt tingling in her lower stomach at the sight, letting out a soft moan. She looked back up at Lexa, who was watching her take it all in.

 

“You like that baby?” she groaned as she continued her brutal pace. Clarke nodded, biting her lip as another moan slipped out. “Say it.” Lexa demanded.

 

“ _ I- ughh I love it. _ ” Clarke moaned. “ _ You feel so good inside me. You feel so good- ooo… inside. Fuck, so good!”  _ Clarke moaned loudly, hoping her words would help Lexa keep her adrenaline up.

 

Then, Clarke got an idea. She moved one hand to swat Lexa’s hands away from her hips, then sank down onto her length, pinning her hips to the mattress.

 

“Clarke?” Lexa questioned, her hips still jerking slightly as she looked up as the blonde.

 

“I want to let you take a break baby, and give you something to look at.” Clarke cooed, her hands settling back down on Lexa’s chest.

 

She rolled her hips against Lexa’s feeling the wetness she had dripped there. “Shit.” Lexa breath as she went to reach for Clarke’s hips again but Clarke stopped moving and gently slapped her hands away.

 

“No, don’t touch. You can only look and watch me ride you.” Clarke murmured, beginning to roll her hips again.

 

She moved languidly, enjoy the way Lexa’s thick length pressed against her inner walls. She could tell Lexa liked to too by how she was breathing erratically, groaning as she tried to hold back her moans.

 

“You feel so damn good inside me.” She praised, sliding her hands down Lexa’s stomach until they came to settle on the lowest point she could reach on her torso without touching herself. “You’re so good to me, you’re so good at filling me.” She continued to praise, massaging her fingers against to tense muscles of Lexa’s torso.

 

“ _ Clarke _ .” Lexa finally broke, slightly, moaning Clarke’s name as a plea for her to start moving more.

 

“Shhh, let me tell you how much I appreciate you.” Clarke commanded. Lexa hesitated, then nodded. Her hands settled against the mattress, clenching the sheets tightly as she restrained herself. “I bet you’re  _ so  _ tired baby.” Clarke said, pouting her lips out slightly.

 

“I have excellent stamina.” Lexa responded, her voice strained as she held herself back from pinning Clarke to the bed and fucking her senseless.

 

“Oh, I  _ know _ , darling. You can go for  _ hours _ , can’t you? I can’t wait for you to show me all the things you’ve been fantasizing about doing to me.” Clarke drawled, knowing exactly what effect she was having on Lexa. She continued rolled her hips lightly, mindlessly. “Can I tell you all the things I’ve been wanting you to do to me?” 

 

Lexa nodded stiffly, not taking her shining eyes from Clarke’s gorgeous face. The blonde seemed to be thriving in this position of power over her, brushing her fingertips all along her body.

 

“I want you to make me scream.” Clarke said without hesitation. “I want you to leave marks all over me. I want you to claim me. I want you to fuck me on every surface imaginable. I want you to make love to me so loudly that the entire crew knows that you’re mine and I’m yours. I want you put your hand down my pants under tables and desks when you think nobody can tell. You want you to make me orgasm hundreds of times. Can you do all of that to me?” Clarke asked. She slid her hands up to cup Lexa’s breasts, massaging them gently. Lexa nodded quickly, her face flushing even more. “Say it.”

 

“I’ll fuck you senseless so much so that nobody will even think of so much as looking at you because they know you are mine to have.” Lexa said, her teeth gritted.

 

“Good.” Clarke drawled, lifting her hips up a few inches before slowly sliding back down Lexa’s shaft.

 

“ _ Shit _ .” Lexa grunted, one hand instinctively coming up to graso at Clarke’s hip. Clarke slapped her hand away and tsked at her, sliding her hands back down her stomach.

 

“You get rewarded when you do what I say. But you get punished when you do something you’re not supposed to.” Clarke informed and Lexa nodded.

 

Clarke smirked wryly and slipped one hand between her own legs. Her index finger found her clit and she brushed a gentle circle over it, drawing in a sharp breath through her clenched teeth.

 

“What are you doing?” Lexa asked, stunned.

 

“This is your punishment.” Clarke said slowly before pressing another slow circle into herself, giving a hard roll of her hips. She dropped her head forward and moaned quietly at the mix of sensations flooding her system.

 

“Clarke.” Lexa warned. Clarke smirked and lifted her hips up slightly, then slid back down as she rubbed her own sensitive bud. She moaned, the smirk falling from her face. 

 

She suddenly didn’t want to tease anymore, she just wanted Lexa to make her cum.

 

“Lex.” she said quietly, her voice shaking.

 

“Yes, darling?” Lexa asked, her voice still strained as she resisted the urge to thrust upwards.

 

“Lex, can you please lay me down again.” Her voice was soft and quiet and as soon as Lexa understood what she’d said, her expression softened and she sat up.

 

“Of course.” She held Clarke’s hips and began lifting her up, removing her shaft.

 

“Wait, no.”Clarke said weakly, trying to slide back down around her member.

 

“Hold on darling. I’m not stopping.” Lexa said softly, pulling all the way. Clarke whimpered quietly, her walls clenching around nothing. “Lay down.”

 

Clarke leaned back and rested her head against the pillows, her arms and legs shaking with the effort. The effect Lexa had on her was astronomical, and Clarke never saw it coming,

 

Lexa followed Clarke’s motion, settling over top of her again. She used one hands to part Clarke’s legs as far as they would go, resting her weight on her opposite elbow. She looked down between their body and held her own cock, pumping her hand a few times before lining herself up.

 

She quickly slipped inside of Clarke’s soaked pussy, and Clarke was relieved when it hurt significantly less than the first time. With only one smooth thrust, Lexa bottomed out and stopped. She took a second to adjust so that she was holding herself up with both her elbows before giving a lazy rolling of her hips. When Clarke moaned gently in response, she took it as incentive and began a steady rhythm.

 

Clarke’s legs spread even wider as she tried to take in as much of Lexa as possible. She wrapped her arms around Lexa’s torso and pulled her closer. She moaned softly every time Lexa bottomed out, giving Lexa the encouragement she needed to hold back the climax she felt tightening in her groin. 

 

“This feels good.” Clarke murmured before moaning again lightly. Lexa smiled and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose, then to her lips. Moving her mouth languidly against Clarke’s soft lips. Clarke returned the affectionate kiss and moved one of her hands to cradle the back of Lexa’s head again. She began lightly scratching the nape of her neck slowly and Lexa hummed, dropping her head to lay her forehead against Clarke’s shoulder.

 

“What are you doing? I like that.” She mumbled against Clarke’s slightly sweaty skin.

 

“Good.” Clarke responded simply, moaning quietly again. Clarke could feel Lexa’s heart racing as their chest pressed together.

 

“Clarke.” She moaned quietly and Clarke smiled. She had seen how hard Lexa tried to hold back her moans but hearing her moan her name so openly made her heart swell.

 

She started moving her hips a bit quicker, but all of the urgency from before was gone. She simply just wanted to enjoy being joined to Clarke so intimately.

 

Clarke could feel her stomach coiling with her rising climax, each roll of Lexa’s languid hips drawing closer to the edge. Lexa could feel Clarke’s walls fluttering and knew she was getting closer.

 

She placed a kiss against Clarke’s cheek before slipping a hand between their sweaty bodies. She settled her index and middle finger over Clarke’s throbbing clit, pressing gently and drawing small circles. Clarke’s back arched off the mattress and she moaned just a bit louder than she had been.

 

“ _ Ugh, Lex-aaaah. _ ” Lexa smiled against Clarke’s skin as she listened to her name taper off into a long whine. She pressed a bit harder to Clarke’s swollen nub before gentle pinching it between her thumb and index finger, rolling it between her fingers, but being gentle knowing how sensitive Clarke was. “ _ Fuck _ .” Clarke breathed.

 

“Come on, love.” Lexa murmured against Clarke’s neck. She could feel her own climax rising, but was determined to make Clarke orgasm first. “Cum for me baby.” She coaxed, pressing another firm circle into Clarke’s bud as she thrust deep inside her. 

 

“I-I-I can feel-” Clarke cut herself off yet again with another throaty moan. Lexa gave another thrust and the head of her shaft pressed into Clarke’s front wall at the perfect angle, sending Clarke over the edge finally. 

 

If the tight clenching of Clarke’s inner walls wasn’t enough to bring Lexa to the edge, it was the sound of the long, high pitched moan Clarke let out upon reaching her climax, or the way she was mumbling Lexa’s name over and over again.

 

Lexa captured Clarke’s lips in a passionate kiss just as her member twitched and began releasing her seed deep into Clarke’s clinging, wet center. She released Clarke’s lips to let out a throaty moan into the blonde’s shoulder, her hips jolting erratically as she came. She mumbled Clarke’s name in turn, her head spinning, filled with thoughts of only Clarke.

 

Once her orgasm tapered off, she went slightly slack, dropping her head against Clarke’s chest. Clarke moaned gently and gave a small roll of her hips. Her orgasm had already ended, but she was still incredibly aroused.

 

Lexa shifted back after a moment of catching her breath, slipping her length out slowly, Clarke moaning as her head brushed against her front wall and pulled past her tight entrance.

 

“You don’t want to go again?” Clarke asked, slightly disappointed as Lexa got off the bed and went in search of some cloths to clean off with.

 

“I would love nothing more than to spend to day in bed with you, my love.” Lexa smiled at Clarke, who was still sprawled out on the bed. She found the cloths she had been looking for and began wiping her stomach, thighs, and still semi-hard shaft.

 

“Oh, yeah, sorry about making such a mess.” Clarke winced as she sat up and look at the sheets with a near puddle of her wetness gathered on it.

 

“I’m as much to blame as you, darling. Besides, I don’t regret anything, a little mess is worth it.” Lexa smiled again as she walked over to Clarke to help her lean off. She brought a clean cloth and began wiping the insides of Clarke’s thighs. “Stand up, I can clean you off better if you’re upright.”

 

Clarke obeyed and slipped to her feet. Lexa kneeled in front of her and pressed a gentle kiss to her lower stomach. Sh then brought the cloth up to the apex of Clarke’s thighs, slowly rubbing the cloth along her drenched folds. She tried not to, but accidentally pressed the cloth over her clit as well. Clarke’s hips gave a small jerk and she moaned quietly.

 

Lexa glanced up at her and smiled at the sight of Clarke staring down at her with lust filled eyes. She moved to swipe the cloth once again but this time Clarke’s hand came down to grip her wrist. She rolled her hips against the cloth and Lexa sighed.

 

“Clarke, I-” She began but Clarke cut her off.

 

“Put your fingers inside me.” She demanded but Lexa hesitated and she whimpered desperately. “ _ Please _ .” She whined and Lexa sighed in defeat, dropping the cloth on the ground she slid to fingers just past Clarke’s entrance. She planned to go slowly but Clarke had different ideas. Holding her wrist tightly, she ground her hips down against Lexa’s fingers, pulling her in deeper at the same time.

 

She dropped her head forward and moaned, grinding her hips down again.

 

“Fuck me, Lexa. Fuck me with your fingers.” Clarke said in one of the sexiest voices Lexa was sure she’d ever heard. She had no choice but to give Clarke what she wanted. 

 

She withdrew her fingers before pushing them in again quickly. She began a brutal rhythm, knowing Clarke could take her fingers easier, she added a third and thrust them in and out at a bruising pace. 

 

“ _ Fuck _ , Lexa.” Clarke moaned loudly, getting louder with each curl of her fingers against Clarke’s front wall. She had no doubt the crew could hear her outside by now but she couldn’t find it in herself to care.

 

* * *

  
  


Anya chuckled into her hand from her spot on the wooden floor next to Lincoln’s feet. Lincoln had his ear pressed to the door and shushed her.

 

“Are you sure you heard-” He started to whisper to Anya but stopped short, his eyes flying wide open, nearly bulging out of his head as he jumped back from the door.

 

“ _ Fuck _ ,  _ Lexa _ !” Came Clarke’s loud moan. Anya cackled and hopped to her feet, following a very flustered Lincoln up to the stern.

 

“It’s one thing to joke about her sexual endeavors but it’s another thing actually  _ hearing  _ them.” Lincoln said, shaking his head. Anya just kept laughing.

 

“Well, you owe me fifty.” She teased and Lincoln rolled his eyes before dropping a pocket full of coins into her hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah, 7816 words of well... yeah ;) as always let me know what you thought, I did my best.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for giving me the time of day :)


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